Losing a pet is devastating. Losing a pet that has been with you for their entire lives, who you raised, taught, changed your daily life to accommodate and then acted as mother, nurse and finally "god" is a very unique experience and very painful grief to move through. I understand, as I recently had to make "the decision" to say good bye to my prince, my little man, my partner of 13 yrs. He was my everything.
What you are feeling and doing is completely normal. You must be gentle with yourself and don't put any energy towards worrying what other people think; this is your time and your right to grieve. I cry a lot, in public and at home. I spend hours looking at pictures and videos, I say good night and good morning to my boy whose urn is next to my bed now. My newest grief symptom is apparently buying photo frames and having pictures developed to go in each room of my home.
Your right to grieve: