Kloe12459 Show full post »
roseblue1
Thank you...I am to in the UK in Kent and I agree that the job situation is indeed not good


I agree about not getting another pet at this moment as Monty is still so much in our hearts and will  always remain there as there will never be another Monty...how we loved him and I getting tearful at this moment though with loving and funny memories of him.

But in time we hope to open our hearts to another little boy or girl that needs rescuing as Monty did...there is indeed enough room in our hearts for one...when the time is right.
 
Yes this forum has been a lifeline to me...though I have my daughter who is wonderful it is so good to hear that other people are going through the same as you...and like I said guilt was mine...and by being on here I have come to realised that it is part of the grieving process.

I hope that the time will change soon and that you will be able when you are ready to have another pet in your life who will look forward  to you walking through the door...nothing can beat that welcome.

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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Runningman66
I’m now struggling to do everyday tasks that were just part of my normal day before my Coco passed.Hell i’m even finding it hard to motivate myself to go for a run which I used to look forward to.Today has been a bad day driving doing my deliveries thinking what is the point anymore and I dread finishing work as I know when I go home and open that door even after two months I still can’t accept he’s not waiting for me😢.The emptiness of a house once filled with happiness and joy is now filled with a deathly silence.My beautiful boy I miss you more and more as each day passes and I’m finding it hard to go on living without you by my side😢
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roseblue1
What a beautiful boy...he would not like you to feel like this as he knows that you gave him a good quality of life and loved you for that.

I know when Monty left us those first few days I could not cook or go shopping or even stand watching a TV programme as when he left us Springwatch was on and how he loved that programme over the years...he would sit in front of the TV and watch the birds...I found it heart breaking to watch in the end...even now it brings tears to my eyes.

In the last hour my daughter has been playing her recordings of him and how we smiled...she has one of where I have just come in from shopping and he was always first in the bags with his little nose...and when I would show him his ''Gourmet'' he would run down the hallway to his bowls...Oh the sweetest memories.

You will get through this and remember the great years you had with Coco.. as he is still with you and watching you and he would be sad to see you sad.

On Amazon I brought the most amazing miniature little pet urn (about 2 inches high and such a good price) and it came with a little spoon and funnel...and I have put some of Monty's ashes in it...and I carry it around with me all the time...I feel he is with me...I have shown my friends and they love it and said they will get one when the time comes for their  babies...it has printed on it ''Always in my heart'' with a beautiful little paw print on it.

Yesterday I took him out in the car and took him to where we first met him and the Love affair began with me and my daughter and Monty... which still carries on and will never stop



Be strong for your Coco as he would not want to see you so sad...and the greatest reward you can give him is remembering the most precious times you spent together..

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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Runningman66
Thanks Ellen once again for your kind words.Your Monty sounds as though he had some of my Coco’s habits especially sticking his head in the shopping bag probably sniffing for his treats.How I miss getting them from the pet aisle.My urn is sealed in a lovely sealed wooden box but I was thinking of scattering some at his fav place but decided keep him all with me at home.I just so wish I could get the image of me leaving him in the vets when he left this world out of my head as I have horrible thoughts how was his body treated when they came to collect him?I know this sounds silly as he was already gone but does not stop me thinking these thoughts and I’m also even wondering if his ashes are really in my urn.You see grief is affecting my mind which is not good for my current emotional state.
Love Runningman xx
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roseblue1
Do you know I when I went shopping the aisle I spent the most time in was the Pet Food aisle...It was nothing for me to stand there for 20 minutes thinking would Monty like this or would Monty like that...when in the end his appetite was getting less I would come home with about three types of food...but you see I just thought it was where he was getting old and they say old cats start to eat less.
I could not be with Monty because of Covid-19 and the vet said she would cuddle him and tell him how much we loved him and she told me that as soon as she would get of the phone to me she would put him at rest so we knew what time he would be going to sleep so me and my daughter could be with him in mind...the vets were very good and sent us a beautiful card...not all are so thoughtful.

I also thought of how Monty would have been treated and I also thought are those his ashes as I paid for an individual cremation...but my daughter said you will drive yourself mad and to trust those that did the cremation....I read some reviews and most said they were very pleased and I have to admit that the service we had was very good.

Try not to think about how he was treated and his ashes...I like to think that those who work in this profession have hearts and my vets returned my money to my account  as the test that I paid for were not needed as Monty was to gravely ill to even have them...they could have so easily said that they had done them and kept the money.

You said it sounds silly...it really does not as I have explained I have had those thoughts.

Grief certainly does affect your mind...those days after he left us I could not get out of bed and I felt like I had a heavy cloud hanging over my head...just walking into the living room was terrible as he was not there and I kept finding his hair...his toys and his food bowls it was truly heart breaking.

Those are Coco's ashes and Coco would have been treated very well...remember that and look to the future with the wonderful memories you have of Coco...and he is still there with you and will be forever and an eternity

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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Runningman66
Ellen have you ever thought of becoming a pet loss councellor as you certainly have a beautiful way with words👏🏻I was very lucky as even with Covid the vets let me be with him when he was put to sleep although his eyes were already closed when I came back in the room probably due to the relaxing drug so I hope he heard my last words to him.I’ll stop there as my eyes are streaming just writing this😢See the tears show no signs of stopping.Oh and I even received a lovely worded card from the vets which safe to safe set me off when I read it😢
Love Runningman xx
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Rosanne777
Dear Kloe        So so sorry for your great loss.
Write again to let us know how you are doing
for we have all been there.
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Kloe12459

Thank you rosanne.

I am having my good and bad days. Some days I barely think about what happened and am able to go about my day in my somewhat new normal. Days like today are harder cause its a holiday weekend and fireworks are going off nonstop every night. They remind me of him because he hated loud noises, especially fireworks and would always hide under something or sit under a blanket with my shaking. Then I start remembering other things like all the tricks I taught him to do and how excited he got each night when it was time to do them for a treat. 


I can’t stop thinking about getting another dog but I would feel like I am just replacing him because it’s so early. My parents also probably wouldn’t let me bring another dog into our house anytime while I am still living here. I miss the little clicks on the floor and being greeted at the door by an excited puppy. I have never lived very long without a dog in my life so it feels very empty. I just would love to get another chihuahua, especially from the same breeder I got Bullet from so that I still have a little piece of him somehow idk

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sugarandspice
I'm so sorry. I also was not able to be with my Spice when he passed. It's so hard. I also struggle with anxiety and he was always there for me through that. It's so hard and there aren't words to make it better, but just know how much Bullet loved you. He didn't feel abandoned. He knew you were doing what was best. When our babies are in pain that's not them, it's not what they remember. What is important are the memories before, in which he knew he was loved and cared for. Sending so much love <3 
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