I just lost my best friend and most precious thing in the world to me last night. His name is Bullet, we got him around 4 years ago. He is a chihuahua and he got his name because when we first got him we joked that he was as fast as a bullet cause he ran all around the house. He was my first real pet who I was in charge of taking care of and he was supposed to come and live with me after I moved out. His death has come very unexpectedly. The beginning of this week he wasn’t acting right so we took him to the vet Wednesday. The vet sent him home after one night on fluids and we hoped he would get better. That night though he only got worst so we took him back as an emergency and brought him home again with pain meds. We brought him back the next morning and little did I know as I handed him over to the vet that it would be the last time I would hold him or see him again. He died that night alone in some cage from kidney problems, most likely a defect he had since he was born. Bullet was the only reason I would get out of bed most days. I struggle with anxiety and depression and on my lowest days he was always there to love me and support me. I am going into my senior year of high school and without him I have no idea how I will manage my stress and anxiety. The thought of not seeing him all excited when I come home or feeling his soft ears at night when my thoughts start becoming overwhelming. I feel so guilty because I promised him the last night we had him home that I would never leave him and then I just hand him over to the vet and walk away from him like I am abandoning him. I should have been with him in his last moments, when he was in pain just like he was always there for me when I was suffering.
I would post a picture but they are all too large.