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Bless Albert. His big gold eyes sound beautiful. My vet had my Daisy swaddled in a big thick towel like a newborn baby when he brought her into the room for euthanasia, so I didn't feel whether or not she sighed when she took her last breath. She was only 2kilos when she passed. I also kiss her little box of ashes & tell her I love her every morning & evening & when I return home, just like you & James do. It brings me comfort, although I cry everytime when I do. 

One thing I have been advised to do since I lost my Daisy was to 'keep her memory alive', whether it be writing a letter, creating a scrapbook full of memories, lighting a candle, talking about them. Many people have their own little rituals, whatever gets one through the pain....By doing these things -coming to this forum & calling a pet loss hotline they have kept me alive as I ended up being treated by the mental health team in a crisis for attempted suicide. I would like to hear more about your Grisou if and whenever you feel you are able to share. 

Sending comfort & peace
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So sorry. That is unexpected and would be upsetting. How old was he? My dog passed away seven months ago and I still miss her every day. I still have her things out. You don't have to put his things away.

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He was 14 years old, but still active: jumping on the counter, chasing treats and catching them in his front paws; last summer he decided to attack cicadas on the balcony!

You don't have to put his things away.

I cant leave his dishes in the kitchen, otherwise I am crying every time.

I've said it many times here: the apartment is so empty and silent now but also so dark since  I don't leave a light in the hallway for him anymore.
Why did he have to die and to die that way when I wasn't there. Finding his body completely limp was the worst experience of my life
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I have a cat also. He is 15 now. Hyperthyroid is common in older cats. Did he have that? Mine has it and he was acting hyper. If not treated they can die from it. Also maybe he had a heart attack? My mother's cat died suddenly one day. He jumped off the bed and hurt his neck or head and died immediately. He was a small cat and had issues with his eyes. That was sad. I know what you mean about the house being quiet. The house does not seem like a home now.

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That was hard when my boy was gone that his eyes were open and lifeless.  That is an image I am having trouble shaking.

James is right - every day and every minute you live is a step closer to healing - which does come.  You are going to have good days, and bad days - good moments and bad moments.  Life Jeff and James, I talk to him every night (I don't have his ashes yet, but that should be this week).  I tell him I am sorry I had to let go and I hope he is happy.  I also am comforted in the thought that my wonderful grandfather who passed 10 years ago (who I was closer to than just about any other person on earth except for my mom) and who loved cats (that is where I get it from) is holding my Patchy in his arms and fussing over him.  There is light at the end - it sometimes just takes a while to arrive.  But it does in small increments - know that.  It is sometimes hard to get out of the grief - it feels like it is swallowing you - but Grisou would not want that for you.  He loved you with all his heart and he wants you to be happy and to remember the happy times you had together.  If you do it for no one else - do it for Grisou.  His memory and his love lives on in you.

We all know how you feel.  I hope this helped.  Hugs.
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