cocolittle
I miss my Coco Marie so much. She had to be put down because she had cancer. she had her spleen and the tumor removed and the doctor said that she would get the cancer back within 3 to 5 months. unfortunately it was a lot sooner. it was a week. it was so hard to put her down. I've never experienced grief like this. I have been very fortunate that I have not lost anyone that I was really close to. miss her so much I can't stand it. .there are memories everywhere. I have another dog and the last two days she hasn't eaten as much as she has before. so maybe that's her way of grieving.I have this nervous anxious feeling in my stomach that just won't go away.I get to the point that I just would rather be dead than feel this way. It feels like it will never go away. I want my baby back. I have been taking tranquilizers and drinking hoping that it would take the pain away and it doesn't.
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cakes488
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GoldenLove
To make the decision to help our beloved companions to find rest is the most loving and compassionate gift we can give them. There is no denying it is definitely a gut wrenching decision to make.

I am so sorry you lost your Coco Marie to this horribly aggressive cancer. It is insidious and is taking way too many of our babies. I lost my golden retriever to splenic hemangiosarcoma as well almost 2 years ago. I also had to make the heartbreaking decision to let her go. In my case, I was so distraught and guilt ridden I didn't know how I was going to go on without my sweet girl. To this day I still have a difficult time. It also didn't help that I was put in the position of having to make this decision 3 times in a 15 month period. I was hit one after the other with little time to recover . . . let alone heal.

I think your other dog is grieving and is also sensing your grief. Give her extra love and attention. It will help you both. I think you will find it helpful to read other posts on this forum and find you are not alone in your grief. Trust me, it helps.

Truthfully, the days and weeks and months ahead will be painful and at times unbearable . . . but you will get through. It's a tough road because you love and miss your Coco Marie so much!

I am so, so sorry you didn't get the additional months with your baby. I hope you can find some comfort and strength in knowing that you spared her further pain by taking it on yourself. A true testament to your love and devotion.

Please take care of yourself and hug that other baby of yours!

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cocolittle
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It was very comforting. I'm glad I found this site because I can read about others' experiences and know that I'm not alone.
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molicule10
Hi cocolittle, I lost my best friend today and I feel exactly the same way feels like a weight on my chest making it hard to breathe and i too just want to give up on life i try to remember the bond we had and how I spoiled her every chance I got. And I try. To remember that it is supposed to get easier with time. I know it can't get any harder. Gang in there sweets, our babies wouldn't want to see us so sad.
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ahartofilis
Hello, I am very sorry for the loss of your Coco Marie. What a beautiful name! My girls name was Coco as well. She was a Labmix and was diagnosed with bone cancer back in December. She was 10 yrs. old. I was told that I would have a few more month's with her at most. I had to let her go 3 weeks after she was diagnosed.
   I understand how you have been feeling. I was in shock and disbelief for quite a while. I felt that I never had enough time to say my good byes to her. I did all that I could in those 3 weeks to let her know how much I loved her. I knew that her days were numbered.
    I don't think we are ever really ready to let them go no matter what the circumstances are. You are experiencing the early stages of grief now. I know how difficult it is, just keep breathing and take it one day, sometimes one hour at a time. Its O.K. to have all kinds of feelings that make no sense at all. After the first couple of weeks I realized that I was in some pretty heavy grief. That's when I decided that since the grief was going to have to run its course that I may as well get to some level of acceptance about it and do my best to move with it.
    I really do feel for what you are going through now. It does get better with time. But you have to give it some time. Coco Marie must have been so very special to you. Again, I am sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you...................please take care..............Sincerely, Andrea.
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miss_nibs
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel and the pain is overwhelming. I also feel like I want to die because it has to feel better than this. I'm going to get a bottle of whiskey for my husband and I to drink after work. I have to try and numb the pain. I'm so sorry for how you feel. I never dreamed that losing a pet would hurt so much to the point where I feel like I'm not even really here.
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MySunny
Well girls, join the club. I opened the whiskey bottle too when Sunny died this week. Prozac is helping as well but we must all admit, drugs and alcohol are not the answer so let's all be moderate in trying to drown our sorrow. Our other loved ones need us too! Besides, all I got for my troubles was a crying jag, a case of the hiccups and a hangover. I am so sorry for your loss dear, and how you are feeling. But wanting to die will pass, I promise. Coco is no longer in pain, nor are any of our beloved companions who have passed. We will see them again, in time.....   
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jonancy
I am so sorry for your loss. You are not alone and everyone is very understanding. My love, Scooter, died suddenly five months ago. He was healthy one day and the next we were told he was bleeding internally. His spleen had ruptured due to a tumor. I never dreamed when we took him to the vet, he won't be coming home. We put him to sleep so he wouldn't suffer any longer. I understand the feelings you are having so much, I don't think I would have made it without this forum. I cried when I read in your post, " I want my baby back"...God I said this so much and still do. My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something I could say to help you.

Take care,
Jonancy...Scooters Mama
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Apollo_the_great
It's been 6 1/2 months since we had to put Apollo to sleep. For the first 3 months I drank 1/2 fifth of tequila every day so I wouldn't feel any pain. I didn't want to face the reality of him being gone, and if I was passed out, I wouldn't feel anything.  But I had to stop the drinking, but the pain is still here. I miss Apollo so much that I think about death all the time and how it has to be better than this. Yet I still must live to take care of my dog Onyx. Since Apollo isn't going to be coming back, I don't see any change happening. Life sucks without the ones we love.
William
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GeorgiegirlsMom
I just had to put my sweet beautiful girl Georgeanna Satin aka Georgie girl..down last Thursday...she was 14 and half of the best years of my life. She was failing and her vet said that there was nothing more he could do for her...he came and did it at our house...she went peacefully in my arms in the sunshine in our yard... But now I keep questioning my decision...my heart aches and I miss her so very, very much and I want her back...everywhere I turn she is there. I wish I would have had her doctor put a needle in me too... I can't bear this pain...!!!!!!!!!
Susan K Faust
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doxylove
I'm very sorry for your loss of Coco Marie.  I completely understand how you're feeling, as I too often think about no longer wanting to be here because my beloved Mimi is gone and never coming back.  But I'm beginning to realize that I need to remain hopeful, strong and healthy in the event I'm ever blessed with the good fortune of having and taking care of another little fur child in my home again, and, trust me, I'm fighting this very hard.  I have a long battle to go, and it's not easy.

The bereavement counselor I've been seeing for the loss of my mother has been of little help with the loss of Mimi.  She admitted she's not experienced working with people who've lost animal companions and suggested I consider an antidepressant, which I'm not an advocate of; I don't believe drugs are the answer or solution for getting through my losses.  She even expressed concern over my grieving more for Mimi than my Mom.  I'm not sure how much longer I can continue working with her, as she does not seem to understand the impact animals have on their owners and what we truly experience when we suffer their loss.

You need to stay strong to be there for your other baby, who needs your love and support and will always be there for you.  The pain will never go away, but time will help it subside.
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spookyred
I feel your pain. I feel the exact same way♡
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shantismom
Cancer has claimed the life of so many of our babies.  My Shanti had to be let go when he developed pancreatic cancer.  It was a heartbreaking decision and I wondered how to ever live without him.  It is now 9 months later and the pain is there but it has eased.  You are still in the clutches of the shock and heartbreak but remember your Coco marie has no more pain or problems.  No stress, nothing is hurting her now. The pain you feel is because of the love you had and your baby is worth it.
We all know the pain and you are not alone in your grief.  There are wonderful people here who are more than willing to hear your story and share theirs.  We make it through, time helps us along.  None of us will ever get over missing them but we get over the crushing pain.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Marlene Wagner
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