I read your post and your words touched my broken heart so much. I haven't been on too much lately because its hurts so much relating to all the posts but I guess I'm meant to hear these words to heal. Today Oct 20th is 4 months since my Rebel of 15 years has gone over the Rainbow Bridge. I can't focus on my life because I'm so empty inside without my best friend. I see him in my dreams and I know he is pain free and his hind legs are good again to run and play. I free abandoned.I talk to him every day and night.
kiss his ashes and paw print every morning and night. his bed is still next to me on the floor with his pillow. When I look around his hair that I would vacuum up, his bowls and food not there then I say it's like he was never here but I know in my heart that he will always be with me. I just want him back and I know that's not reality. I do believe that we will see our beloved pets again but in the meantime the pain is unbearable. My husband doesn't really understand the loneliness I feel.I always took pride in my house and loved the holidays, now I don't have any ambition for anything or care. When he first was gone I did see a red cardinal twice in my yard and I knew he was here visiting and told me he was ok and he wants me to be ok but I can't be because I miss him so much. I have had other dogs that I cherished and they passed over the bridge and I grieved but Rebel has taken a tremendous toll on me. He came into my life when things were not so good and won my love over time and became my shadow when I retired. We rescued him.
I am so sorry for your lost Bibbi I'd guess we are not alone in loss. I wish we could have a little more time with them and I think that I maybe could of done something different to have him longer but it seemed so quick. Truly heartbroken