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FClaire
Custy wrote:
Hi Bibbi
I read your post and your words touched my broken heart so much. I haven't been on too much lately because its hurts so much relating to all the posts but I guess I'm meant to hear these words to heal. Today Oct 20th is 4 months since my Rebel of 15 years has gone over the Rainbow Bridge. I can't focus on my life because I'm so empty inside without my best friend. I see him in my dreams and I know he is pain free and his hind legs are good again to run and play. I free abandoned.I talk to him every day and night.
kiss his ashes and paw print every morning and night. his bed is still next to me on the floor with his pillow. When I look around his hair that I would vacuum up, his bowls and food not there then I say it's like he was never here but I know in my heart that he will always be with me. I just want him back and I know that's not reality. I do believe that we will see our beloved pets again but in the meantime the pain is unbearable. My husband doesn't really understand the loneliness I feel.I always took pride in my house and loved the holidays, now I don't have any ambition for anything or care. When he first was gone I did see a red cardinal twice in my yard and I knew he was here visiting and told me he was ok and he wants me to be ok but I can't be because I miss him so much. I have had other dogs that I cherished and they passed over the bridge and I grieved but Rebel has taken a tremendous toll on me. He came into my life when things were not so good and won my love over time and became my shadow when I retired. We rescued him.
I am so sorry for your lost Bibbi I'd guess we are not alone in loss. I wish we could have a little more time with them and I think that I maybe could of done something different to have him longer but it seemed so quick. Truly heartbroken
Custy
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FClaire
Hi Custy, I just read your post and felt I had to reply, to say that could have been me writing that! I'm eleven weeks without my beautiful Ollie and feel exactly the same as you. I'm so sorry on your loss of Rebel. It's all truly heartbreaking I know. My life will I feel never be the same again. So sorry to you and everyone else here going through this painful journey xxx
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Bibbi
Hi Custy,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can see you loved your Rebel dearly.
I feel excactly like you do, life is empty and has no meaning anymore. All I want is to have my Ludwig back. I know they dont live as long as us, and I know its not logic; but I want him forever by my side. It feels like I lost my own soul. He was my everything. I really dont know how to cope with loosing him, I have been desperately searching about spiritualism, and different views on afterlife. I really desperately need to know that I will see him again. Hope isnt enough, I need to KNOW. I feel like im loosing my sanity. All I want is to go back to sleep and dream about him, and be with him...
Bibbi
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Bibbi
3 months since i kissed you...
I wish i would wake up from this nightmare. I long so much to see you again. I need you back, its that simple - I need you back.
I love you and miss you forever!
<3
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Bibbi
First Xmas without you my love. I miss you and think of you constantly.
I know you would be ecstatic about xmas if you were here. Watching everything getting ready for Xmas dinner in the kitchen, smelling all the smells, categorising them like you always did, not missing anything that is beeing prepared. Watching everything. Waiting patiently, knowing you will get treats once in a while while preparing everything.
You were the centre of xmas, bringing so much joy and happiness. Seeing your anticipation for food and presents, the joy in your eyes when unwrapping presents and of "killing" the wrapping paper and tear it into a billion pieces all over the floor.
Seeing you full after dinner, sleeping contently and carefree, snoring of exhaustion after a day so full of happenings.
I wish you are watching, and participating somehow.

It is an empty xmas without you here.
<3
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Bibbi
Its been almost 6 months since i held you in my arms, and kissed you goodbye <3
I honestly dont know what to do without you by my side. Every day i miss you, and the pain of loosing you is still unbearable. All I want is to hold you again and never let you go!
I wish there was something I could do to bring you back, or for me to join you. I would give ANYTHING to be with you again! The thought of having to endure every day without you; in pain of missing you, and not knowing if I will see you again is just taking all my energy out of me, and i dont know for how long i can do this. Every night i go to sleep I wish i wont wake up again, I want to stay in my dreams with you forever. Then i wake up and i feel you are slipping away, and the pain sets in all over again.I miss you so much Ludwig <3
I hope to be with you soon <3<3<3
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judylinn
Bibbi..I was right there where you are now when Maddie first passed. I didn't think I could make it through without her and all her love..Let me tell you it does get better. I still miss her every day but now when I think of her or talk to her it's just with a heart full of love. It has been 10 years since Maddie passed and she has not slipped away from me at all. sure some of the small moments have faded but nothing has gone from the love connection we have. I still kiss her picture goodnight every night before bed and I think of her all the time..the relationship has changed but she is in my heart as firm as ever.  Hang in there your beloved fur baby will be around you and wanting the best for you. One thing that helped me is I planted a beautiful cherry blossom tree in her honour when she passed and every Spring when it comes out in full bloom it makes my heart smile...maybe try doing something to honor your love with your fur baby. Sending you love and prayers as I know how hard it is...Judylinn

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Bibbi
Thank you so much for your kind words Judylinn, they are very much appreciated!
All I am holding on to atm is that he is with me every night in my dreams, and i feel his presence in my dreams so strong - and I am very greatful for atleast having that.
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Achilly
Dear Bibbi
I just read your post, and so very sorry. I related so much. Its its ok i would like to share my story with you. We lost or beloved Chance on Monday, and i just can't believe it. Chance was almost 12 great Dane boxer mix. Chance was the most loving boy you could ever meet. 6 years ago he had ACL surgery, and had arthritis for a while. Two years ago he was disfnosed with afib, he had to take meds twice a day, but was doing so very well. Two months agao we stopped eating and had hind leg limpness. We took him to the emergancy vet and found out he had cancer. We did not want to further his suffering. So we decided to take him home and make him as comfortable as we could. He started prednisone and it helped for a month. He was eating and going for shorts walks again. It was such a gift that i started to think we had much more time. Sunday he lost his appetite again and his legs started to weaken. Monday he had a horrible seazure, and he new it was time. We couldn't think of it happening again when he was home alone. We said goodbye that day. I just can't take the loss. I'm so empty inside and do not know how to get through the day. He was my everything. Words can't describe the love and loss..
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redgirlraven
I am so sorry for your loss of Chance. It sounds like you ddI everything right for him.
AR
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Custy
I haven't been on the Rainbow Bridge site for awhile.Because every pot I read was e and that even made it harder. I know that the more you listen and post should give you comfort. I spent the first xmas without my Rebel and it was heartbreaking taking his stocking ad putting it with the other memories .Didn't want to decorate or have people over. New years I just wanted to be alone. I have been in therapy trying to cope.The crying gets less then it goes back to everyday. In therapy and everyone else is trying to get me to foster or volunteer. I have gotten to the shelter to volunteer but haven't decided yet got my family on board about fostering but I don't know if I could. I just want my Rebel back. I'm lost without him. It's 7 months now and I still put his picture and pawprint and his ashes on his bed and pillow on the floor next to me at night. This sunday Feb 2 was his birthday he would have been 16 yrs old. I put candles on a little cake and had my family sing to his picture which I have never done for any other dog that has passed. He was my everything and the loss is so great that it scares me. My husband really doesn't understand what his loss means to me.
The house even with my kids and grandkids is lonely and so quiet. I still say oh I have to go home to take care of Rebel or walk and feed him.. So If I'm not on the site and reading or re3plyig I'm still suffering and I kow all of you are too. My heart goes out to everyone of us.Their are times when I just want to put the covers over my head and sleep so I can dream of my Rebel. So for now this Custy

[0717191109_Burst01]

Colleen Allis
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Achilly
redgirlraven wrote:
I am so sorry for your loss of Chance. It sounds like you ddI everything right for him.
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Achilly
Thank you it's just so hard to be here without him.
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Achilly
Custy wrote:
I haven't been on the Rainbow Bridge site for awhile.Because every pot I read was e and that even made it harder. I know that the more you listen and post should give you comfort. I spent the first xmas without my Rebel and it was heartbreaking taking his stocking ad putting it with the other memories .Didn't want to decorate or have people over. New years I just wanted to be alone. I have been in therapy trying to cope.The crying gets less then it goes back to everyday. In therapy and everyone else is trying to get me to foster or volunteer. I have gotten to the shelter to volunteer but haven't decided yet got my family on board about fostering but I don't know if I could. I just want my Rebel back. I'm lost without him. It's 7 months now and I still put his picture and pawprint and his ashes on his bed and pillow on the floor next to me at night. This sunday Feb 2 was his birthday he would have been 16 yrs old. I put candles on a little cake and had my family sing to his picture which I have never done for any other dog that has passed. He was my everything and the loss is so great that it scares me. My husband really doesn't understand what his loss means to me.
The house even with my kids and grandkids is lonely and so quiet. I still say oh I have to go home to take care of Rebel or walk and feed him.. So If I'm not on the site and reading or re3plyig I'm still suffering and I kow all of you are too. My heart goes out to everyone of us.Their are times when I just want to put the covers over my head and sleep so I can dream of my Rebel. So for now this Custy

[0717191109_Burst01]

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Achilly
Your pup was just beautiful!!! You take whatever time you need to heal. I just lost my Chance Monday, and can't even put our story into words. Reading how others loved there babies. Helps take care!!! I'm so sorry for your loss.
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