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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #31 
I have read the "I will see you in heaven", and i found it somewhat comforting, but i think its too soon after he is gone, so i will read it again at some later point.

I wake up in the morning and find myself not knowing what to do, i have tried to listen to my body now and do that hour by hour; Im cold and freezing - ok, must get warm; fatigued - ok, must rest alittle, not seeing clear - ok, must eat alittle... and so the hours pass. I cant focus on much more than my primitive needs. Its like its a battle between brain and body, and i think the body needs to come first... its a cloudy and dark place to be...
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #32 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibbi
I have read the "I will see you in heaven", and i found it somewhat comforting, but i think its too soon after he is gone, so i will read it again at some later point.

I wake up in the morning and find myself not knowing what to do, i have tried to listen to my body now and do that hour by hour; Im cold and freezing - ok, must get warm; fatigued - ok, must rest alittle, not seeing clear - ok, must eat alittle... and so the hours pass. I cant focus on much more than my primitive needs. Its like its a battle between brain and body, and i think the body needs to come first... its a cloudy and dark place to be...
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #33 
Cannot seem to concentrate on anything for long at the minute, feels a very dark place. Knew today I had to start to try and eat something as feeling dizzy and thought I'm no good to anyone if I become I'll. But felt so guilty eating because Ollie was always with us at meal times. He always thought what was ours was his, cheeky thing he was! That's all I'm trying to do is taking it very slowly. My mum mentioned something about Christmas when I phoned her. I said no way am I thinking that far ahead yet!!
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judylinn

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Reply with quote  #34 
When Maddie passed it broke my heart. Someone on this site told me about this book, and it was written by a couple who lost their beloved dog and loved it as we do.
It gives comfort and some guidance and help. It really helped me.

Saying Goodbye To Your Angel Animals......by Allen and Linda Anderson.
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NoriFaria

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Reply with quote  #35 

I'm so so sorry. 

But hey, here's what I believe. I believe you will see him again. Right after our last breathes on this earth, we see them. They come to us, to guide us home. All our loved ones. 

 

And I'm sure the first thing you'll see will be your beautiful Ludwig, wiggling his tail, running towards you with excitement and love. Just like before. 

But in the meantime, while Ludwig gets ready for your arrival, it is your duty to live life to the fullest. Make him proud. He's with you anyway. Even though you can't see him. I know he is. 

Our loved ones, they never really leave. A piece of them lives within us, in our hearts. And they take a piece of us. We will always be connected and will always find our way back to our loved ones. Love is our anchor. It keeps us connected.
Be strong, for Ludwig. I'm sure he would want you to be strong 


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Ana
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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #36 
Today is 10 days since i kissed your lovely nose, buried my face in your fur and held you close.

I miss you more that words can describe, i miss taking care of you, making you feel safe and loved, i miss making you smile and stretch. I miss blowing on your tummy to make you playful, to massage your back and legs, hearing your content sighs from it. I miss curling up behind you when you sleep, holding around you and feel your warmth. I miss you so much my love.

Im trying my best - i really am.
I will miss you forever - and i know we will be together again <3
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BeautifulDK

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Reply with quote  #37 
It's been almost 6 weeks, and today is the first day I even begin to feel some semblance of 'normalcy'. It's still the hardest when I wake up in the morning, and when I come home from work. I have not found much comfort in anything and have not had any signs. Sometimes I think I hear him but probably just wishful thinking. I just found a  book recently called 'I will see you in heaven-the cat version' that has some basis in biblical references. I ordered it to see what it says, it was cheap. I also ordered a book called 'the best cat ever'. Right now, I don't know what to believe, but if my beloved Talyn is out there somewhere, I want to make sure I see him again.[/QUOTE

Hi Ronnie, It is nice to hear that things progress, I am in day 4. The grief is so thick, I can't imagine that there will be a clearing anytime soon. So its nice to hear that things move on a bit. I ordered the book "Saying Goodbye to your angel animals", just started, hope it works. I guess we all need to keep hoping <3
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anang

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Reply with quote  #38 
Ludwig and his muffins picture is priceless.

It's obvious the extent of your love, and unfortunately, love inevitably involves pain. It's not fair, it makes no sense, especially for such loving and caring people such as yourself. You gave Ludwig the most amazing experience possible on this earth. That is huge. 

Crying and breaking down is an unfortunate, yet common, response to grief. Let it out as much as you can. As someone who has experienced anxiety for over 25 years, I am aware of its devastating effects. If anxiety starts to pervade your life, it's just my humble recommendation, but I would consult with your physician.

Please know that you are loved and supported here. There are so many loving and caring individuals here that are (unfortunately) also grieving for their furry babies.

Much Love,
Katie 

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K. Unger
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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #39 
It's been exactly 6 weeks today that my precious Talyn left me. I still relive that night, even in my sleep...what little I get...I understand the place you're in...I'm not sure I will ever leave it...I miss holding my baby boy so much. I think even my good friends and most of my family have heard enough of me talking about much of an impact this has had on me...I've also had a few relapse moments, even at work-that was hard to hide...take care!

Talyn's Daddy

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TALYN001/Resident.htm#PhotoAlbum

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Ronnie A
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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #40 
14 days - 2 weeks - since i held you my love. I miss you and i miss you and then i miss you more!
I think im in denial, time is warped - it feels like yday i saw you... getting less panick-attacks, but still happened 3 times today, my tears are just running and i dont know what to do. Nothing has meaning anymore, all i want is to see you again!
Im so sorry for taking your life, i would do anything to have you back with me. I love you forever and ever <3
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redgirlraven

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Reply with quote  #41 
I know how hard this point is. For me week two was the lowest. I’m so sorry try and hang in there. There are pet loss support hotlines if you need someone to talk to. I say that because for me, several people in my life were “over” hearing about my grief. They would say “The Cat thing? Still? Really?” Somewhere around the two week point. So it helped me to have somewhere else
To call and talk to someone who would care and understand.

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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #42 
Hi Raven,

I hear you about that. I've been getting that aura from those closest to me like they've heard it too many times. I share your sentiment. Even my best friend isn't as understanding as I hoped. This site has been amazing in helping me (and you as well) at least 'get it off my chest' without judgment. You make a great point with this post. Thanks!

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Ronnie A
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #43 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibbi
14 days - 2 weeks - since i held you my love. I miss you and i miss you and then i miss you more!
I think im in denial, time is warped - it feels like yday i saw you... getting less panick-attacks, but still happened 3 times today, my tears are just running and i dont know what to do. Nothing has meaning anymore, all i want is to see you again!
Im so sorry for taking your life, i would do anything to have you back with me. I love you forever and ever <3
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #44 
Three weeks since we lost Ollie, I feel exactly how you are feeling Bibbi, totally heartbroken and it gets harder every day 😢😢💔💔💔
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Custy

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Reply with quote  #45 
Hello
This Custy and this is the first time on this Forum. I have been reading some the stories and they all touched my heart and soul.
I'll start by telling about My Rebel who passed away on June 20 of this year.I adopted him from a shelter 15 yrs ago he was only 4 weeks old and came up from Tenn, he had a rough time. He was an Akita and Chow mix. I have had 4 dogs before but not this mixture. He was a pack dog and an Alfa very protective of his liar. When we took him to the Vet , the Vet said to me I don't know if he is the right fit for us. We had to get a trainer for him and us because of his aggressiveness.But over time he settled down and the vet couldn't believe how turned out. He was still aggressive to a point, de didn't like other dogs , tolerated my daughters dog and my cat. He only liked me to mush over him. Whenever I wasn't home he would sit by the back door and wait for me to feed him and walk him. When I retired he became my shadow.Out of dogs that I had he was the oldest.Never had any medical problems with him. He loved his treats and bones and of course I spoiled him to death. He loved squeaky toys because he always got the squeaky thing out and with stuffed toys he loved taking the stuffing out. When I would decorate for xmas and put out his stocking he would sit under it and poke it. he loved unwrapping his gifts.He loved running around the kitchen in the hallway and around the living without anyone chasing him. He loved being out on the deck and watching the ground hogs and dear. after a while the deer and him just stared at each other , in the snow he loved rolling in the snow and putting his nose in it. One time he buried a bone in the snow and then forget where it was. He was unique. Late last year he started to slow down you had to put people food in his food .He loved the milk in the morning.Then his back legs were giving him problems so we put him pain killers, hip & joint vitamins and he seemed better. He also loved being on my bed and when my husband would come to bed he would growl  that stopped also it was hard for him to climb up . My kids said he was losing his eye sight and hearing but to me it was selective. I'm not sure if I'm writing to much. He was having difficulty squatting I tried diapers forget that and put sheets down in my room because he didn't to be downstairs when we would go out. I had no problem with poopy accidents but he was functioning with everything he even would chase the animals in the yard. I refused to really go anymore for any length of time so I can be with him. Even when he was fine I would try not to be out long. I loved him heart and soul. He came into my life when the  pressures of  life was hard and he would comfort me when no one would. Then the beginning of June it was getting harder for him with his hind legs.  When he couldn't make up the stairs to go to bed and I brought his bed and pillow and sheets and my pillow and setup the living room for me and him and taking him out the front with no stairs. Then came June 17 when he was dragging his back legs and making the pads bleed. I need either my daughter or husband to help with getting him out. We took him to the Vet on the 19 and the vet and my husband wanted me to leave hm and I went hysterical and said no he is still eating, and drinking and going out. I know from experience that they will tell you that its time. We brought him home and he was ok by 1 am he had not urinated since 6:30 pm, but drinking and I gave him anything he wanted to eat which he slowed down. By 2am he woke me up with his barking and crying and I got my husband up to get him out and he didn't do anything just barking and crying. We sedated him so he would be comfortable until morning which he was. He was telling me it was timeto go over Rainbow Bridge. I couldn't and wouldn't left him suffer so on June 20 we took him to the Vet and I stayed with him holding him, kissing him and telling him I loved him so very much and its okay to go. I go to sleep with his foot print and ashes on his bed which is next to me  where he always slept, I talked to him everyday and kiss his pictures every day. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I get up straight up, do errands if I have to and just walk around the house. I cry all the time. I know that I'm in depression. Nothing excites me I just want  my puppy back. Like I said in the beginning I lost other dogs but Rebel is really hitting me hard. I don't know how to get  thru this. I donated all his food and toys to a local animal rescue.Kept his leases and bowls and favorite toys with all my other dogs things. I have a draw full.
I feel like time and life has stopped for me and I have this emptiness. The women from the rescue wants me to meet one of her dogs but I'm not ready I do know that I will get another dog. I went hysterical when my grand daughter sent me a picture of a puppy she just got. And when I read all these horrific posts of the abused animals my stomach turns and say how can this happen. I wish dogs could live as long as us. I know he is not in pain or suffering but I am and I don't know how to get thru this. I do know that he wouldn't want me like this. Since he is gone I have seen a Red Cardinal in my yard. My friends have told me that he came for a visit and to tell me he is ok and wants me to be ok. How can I be ok without him.  My heart is broken. Some people don't understand they say its two months now go on.

Please help me 2004-08 01 Rebel.jpg  thru this




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Colleen Allis
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