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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #16 
Judylinn, FClaire and Ronnie - thank you all for sharing this, its somewhat comforting to know I am not alone in feeling this, it is so profound and deep, the longing to be with my Ludwig again is eating me alive - and sometimes i think im behaving abnormal... or going crazy or something..
Sending you all lots of love!!
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #17 
Bibbi, I'm also somewhat finding it comforting coming on here and speaking to people who understand and sadly going or have been through it. You are not going crazy, all normal part of grieving I presume. We went to Ollie's favourite place this evening and released a balloon for him because we always bizarrely celebrated his birthday today, it was actually the day we lost him. We looked silly stood at the kerb side,but I dont care what people think I will not forget my baby. Probably thought we were crazy😄 xxx
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #18 


I can related to the feelings expressed above. I finally had to go on antidepressants. I started Prozac 7 days ago today. I just did not think I was going to pull out of the depression on my on. So once again my Marmalade saved my life. As without him, I would not have taken that step. And he had already saved me from suicide many times over. Just with his presence alone and how he always taught me to feel blessed, grateful and content. My boy...still positively impacting me even after he is gone. 

: ** )
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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #19 
@Mistysmama: Do you mind share your "visits" with me?
I have been begging Ludwig to tell me he is ok since he died, and was hoping for a feeling of relief or a feeling of the pain inside me to reside alittle maybe....
I sat down for a second yesterday at the terrasse looking out on the empty garden, and suddenly white butterflies appeared... First one, then another one, then a third one... I also saw a big black with orange spots, and a smaller orange with black spots. I have never seen or maybe noticed this before in my garden, and the white ones stayed for maybe 15 minutes... it was odd, cos i wasnt sad when they were there. When they left i started crying again, thinking it was a sign from Ludwig... and then back to thinking im indeed going crazy....Im openminded (now..) to anything, and i just feel lost..
I woke up this morning from a dream about him, we were together and i was aware that he had died, but i could feel his fur, and i was hugging him... and he was fine...
Am i loosing my mind (crying again now...)?
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #20 
Bibbi, no I too the last few days have had butterflies flying around my garden. I do have a tree that does attract them, but these also have been white. It gave me a strange feeling seeing them. I pray its ollie around me. Other than this I'm desperate for some signs to know hes with me, how else will I know. Just want him to be here, desperately missing him xxx
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huckleberry1918

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Reply with quote  #21 
I saw a butterfly in my yard a couple of weeks ago. He kept flying around and I saw him several times that day. On Saturday mornings, my wife, myself, Huckleberry and Banjo would go in our backyard and do some gardening. Huck and Banjo would watch us. I feel really empty doing it now. The one morning when I saw the butterfly, the first thing I thought about was Huckleberry. My wife said the same thing. We were thinking that Huck is in heaven and he's saying thank you to us and he's telling us how much he loves us and he doesn't want to see us sad.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #22 


Yes, I too have been having Butterfly sightings. One of my favorite memories is when I took my cat Marmalade for a walk outside of our warehouse (he was like a dog and would follow me and "come" when it was time to go back in) and a Monarch landed on top of his head and flapped it's wings and he left it alone to do so. Lol. But I have seen more butterfly sightings too since his departure.

Once the neighbor next door (Abbey) the beautiful pet parent of Marmalade's girlfriend cat "Star" was standing there talking to me, and it appeared like a butterfly flew out of my chest. And she exclaimed that! "Look! A butterfly just flew out of your chest!"

: )
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Mistysmama

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Reply with quote  #23 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibbi
@Mistysmama: Do you mind share your "visits" with me?
I have been begging Ludwig to tell me he is ok since he died, and was hoping for a feeling of relief or a feeling of the pain inside me to reside alittle maybe....
I sat down for a second yesterday at the terrasse looking out on the empty garden, and suddenly white butterflies appeared... First one, then another one, then a third one... I also saw a big black with orange spots, and a smaller orange with black spots. I have never seen or maybe noticed this before in my garden, and the white ones stayed for maybe 15 minutes... it was odd, cos i wasnt sad when they were there. When they left i started crying again, thinking it was a sign from Ludwig... and then back to thinking im indeed going crazy....Im openminded (now..) to anything, and i just feel lost..
I woke up this morning from a dream about him, we were together and i was aware that he had died, but i could feel his fur, and i was hugging him... and he was fine...
Am i loosing my mind (crying again now...)?


No you are not losing your mind. Grief breaks us up. It hurts like nothing else. Let the feelings flow out, and try not to be scared.
It is a very short time since Ludwig passed. I was fit for nothing for a few weeks.

Two weeks or so in, I had a couple of dreams about my girl, and later with hindsight, realised they were probably "visits", but I was too deeply disturbed and upset to know what was going on, or that my girl might be trying to reach out to me.

But it was almost exactly a month later that one evening (and for more or less the first time I was actually concentrating on something else when it happened ! I was watching a veterinary program)
Well suddenly I sensed my Misty's love, real and strong in the room with me, then it was like it rushed into my Heart and curled up there. I could feel her character, all the love in her, and some joy and freedom  from her. It was very beautiful.
For a few moments it was like she'd never gone anywhere, and it was just like the two of us cuddling up....best way I can describe it.

So it wasn't that I got any special "signs", it was just that I felt her character and presence, and have done many times since. Sometimes stronger than other times.

I have heard though, that they need time to adjust to their new environment first. Then they very often will try one way or another to let us know they are okay.
It might be different kinds of communication though, for different Souls.

Sometimes they can also be with us, right beside us for a little while after passing, only because we are so upset we might not know they are there.

So what I learned from her is that there was no worry or hurt in her about my tears and my grieving. I sensed maybe something protected her from the worst of my grief?? I don't know. But she never seemed distressed when I sensed her.
I also learned that it was the simple love between us that bridged the gap between this world and the next. That simple heart-felt love which we had always known.

Nothing more complicated, and no need to be "psychic", Just Love. And a quietness of mind.


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Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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judylinn

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Reply with quote  #24 
I agree with all that Mistysmama said. I was desperated for signs when Maddie first passed..but the grief is so overwhelming that we are not really clear enough to recieve messages as well as they need to settle. I have had numerous visits from Maddie..There is such a different feeling from just a dream about her to feeling like she was reaching out to me at night.. It took awhile though before this happened. One of the biggest things that I didn't realize was a sign at the time...when every morning I would have a shower and do my hair..the last thing I would do is brush my teeth..Maddie always heard the tap and came running in to talk to me and vocalize at me. This one time after she passed...I turned the water on and then right beside me in the door frame...a white feather came down...just out of the blue..I thought it was really strange as there is no way a feather was in the door frame. I was always sad I didn't save it because I didn't know what it meant..but it was a message from Maddie. I looked after a lab/dane for 6 years 3-4 days a week...and when Tucky passed..the exact same thing happened to his owner...there are so many other things...we just have to be open to see. Just go through the frief and not fight it and you will move through it step by step.  Even with all the pain i felt and sometimes still feel..having Maddie's love and my love for her....was worth every minute. . Sending you all love and prayers...Judylinn
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #25 
You both explained that beautifully, and how lovely you feel your beautiful babies near. I long for this,but like you say, maybe I have to get through this stage first to get to that point. Sad that at the minute I feel nothing, which can be scary. Xxx
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Bibbi

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Reply with quote  #26 
Thank you all for sharing your stories, and for all the love and support; I am so greatful for this website and for all of you here!
The love we all share for our beloved ones we lost, and also for eachother in a time of great need.
Love never dies.
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #27 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bibbi
Thank you all for sharing your stories, and for all the love and support; I am so greatful for this website and for all of you here!
The love we all share for our beloved ones we lost, and also for eachother in a time of great need.
Love never dies.
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FClaire

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Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #28 
❤ xxxx
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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #29 
It's been almost 6 weeks, and today is the first day I even begin to feel some semblance of 'normalcy'. It's still the hardest when I wake up in the morning, and when I come home from work. I have not found much comfort in anything and have not had any signs. Sometimes I think I hear him but probably just wishful thinking. I just found a  book recently called 'I will see you in heaven-the cat version' that has some basis in biblical references. I ordered it to see what it says, it was cheap. I also ordered a book called 'the best cat ever'. Right now, I don't know what to believe, but if my beloved Talyn is out there somewhere, I want to make sure I see him again.
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Ronnie A
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #30 
I'm never sure what to believe, but I am clinging desperately onto the thought that I will see Ollie again,I have to and so hope so. I hope you get some comfort from reading your books. I have struggled today, dont think i feel acceptance yet i dont know. So many feelings and emotions in my head. Mornings are bad for me also, as soon as I open my eyes I know I have to get up and go downstairs and hes not going to be waiting 😢 Today was the first time in 11 days I managed to cook a meal and eat it. Ollie was always under my feet meal times. So doing that was a step forward I suppose xx
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