Aelphaba
It will be one week tomorrow that I watched my baby, 6 year old chiuahua Paul Martin, get mauled by my neighbors dog. He was 5lbs. I have lost 10 lbs in a week and just started treatment for my reoccurring Hodgkin's Lymphoma again for the 3rd time since 2005. I have this sick feeling in my stomach everyday and can't get the image of my baby in that beasts mouth!!! He had 6 broken ribs and multiple lung punctures, treacheal tear, abdominal hernia and other injuries too. No matter how bad I didn't want to let him go I couldn't be selfish. I had to put him down cause he would have only suffered more pain if didnt. I'm dying inside.
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pannklaus
So very, very sorry for those horrible images in your head.  You did the loving and unselfish thing by letting Paul Martin go to relieve his suffering even though it was so very hard to do.  I am also so sorry to hear about your recurring Lymphoma.  You are going through so much.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Patsy
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BorderCollieLover
I wanted to extend my condolences on the loss of your beloved Paul Martin. You are certainly dealing with a lot of issues right now. You came to the right place. This forum is filled with caring, compassionate people who completely understand. When you feel up to it please post here often so we know how you are coping. 

Warmest regards,

Jim
Jim Miller
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Aelphaba
Thank u so much . I am having a hard time doing much of anything. It took me hours just to post last night. I think I logged on and off at least 10 times before I could get any words out.
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Latte
I am so so very sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved baby Paul Martin and the horrific events that led to his passing! I wish I had the words or the remedy to make your pain & the images disappear! No one should ever have to encounter that! My condolences go out to you & many prayers for you as you go through the grieving process & your treatments for lymphoma!! My heart truly feels & aches for you! GOD BLESS YOU!! xo
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Gmr
I am so very sorry for the terrible thing you had to witness and your loss. You have to take it day by day as that is what I have been doing. May God help you through this difficult time of your loss and your health.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Lynette,


I am very sorry and very saddened to learn of what happened to your beloved boy "Paul Martin" and the pain and suffering you are enduring now with his loss. Thank you for sharing a photo of your lad and some of his and your story.

A similar thing happened to me about 32 years ago. We had a black Himalayan cat named "Cosmos" who I adored and had raised since he was a kitten that could fit in my hand. He was around 3 years old. He came to live with me at a sound stage I was living and working at on an industrial island called Terminal Island located in between San Pedro and Long Beach, Ca., that we used as a location for Films / TV / Music Videos and Commercials etc.

The building was fenced in and was quite large @ 43,000 square feet and our three cats (Cosmos, Tiffany and Dusty) had the run of the place. Cosmos snuck out of the building via a hole near a fire extinguishing system pipe and disappeared one morning. I went to look for him and couldn't find him. He vanished. A few hours later a business neighbor who saw me looking for my cat told me he had thrown a cats body into the dumpster at his place of business and sure enough, it was Cosmos. He had been attacked and killed by 2 wild dogs. They not only killed Cosmos, they killed my other neighbors beloved dog too. 

I carried Cosmos, my little boy, to the shop of our stage and built him a small wood coffin, as I balled my eyes out. I couldn't even speak to my staff I was so overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. I lined the coffin with white satin material left over from a production, and then painted the coffin's exterior black. And then painted in multi-colors stars, planets, galaxies and anomalies etc. for my Cosmos. I gently placed him inside the little coffin and screwed it shut.

We took the coffin carrying Cosmos down the way to a secluded beach front on Terminal Island. We buried him and I said a prayer.

A few nights later we went back to visit "C" as I had called him and the entire area had been completely fenced off. I couldn't get to Cosmos burial site. I walked a bit to try and find an entrance and noticed a mental sign hanging repeatedly on the fences exterior. To our surprise it read:  "BIRD SANCTUARY. DO NOT ENTER BY ORDER OF U.S. GOVERNMENT." Cosmos LOVED watching birds. Back to the days of his kittenhood. I could not think of a more fitting locale for his final resting place. A slight smile crossed my face.

Although the above occurred over 32 years ago, and my memories are fading, I still think of my little boy at times and recall the love and good times Cosmos and I shared together. I am glad our paths crossed when they did. He enriched my life in so many ways. As your boy Paul Martin obviously enriched yours.

All you can do now is continue to travel through time and allow your mind and bodies built-in healing system to do it's work. It will. And "this too shall pass."

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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Aelphaba
Thank u so much for your kind words. I hope that I too may have encouraging words for some of the people coming to this forum looking for something, anything to help them get thru their loss. I'm sorry about ur little Cosmos. I'm glad u were able to bury him in the perfect place, lol. May he watch the birds fly for all eternity!!
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Aelphaba
I feel bad I don't know everyone's story so I can offer my condolences in return. I don't want to feel like I'm using this site only for my benefit but want to offer anything I can equally to help everyone as the kind words that have been written here for me. I'm sorry I don't know all of your stories yet but I will do my best to catch up as best as I can.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Lynette,


Not even sweetie, that's what we are here for. To help others as they arrive. In time, you may be up for catching up with others stories here on the forum and you may be up for posting supportive comments. But please just pace yourself out. There is no rush and no pressure. Right now it is about you healing up. : )

Happy Holidays & hugs.

Kind regards,
James
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Aelphaba
Oh god the kindness of everyone here is just so awesome. Thank u so much for ur kind words James it made me cry. I'm still a wreck. It was one week yesterday since I lost little Paul Marin. Thank u again James for ur kind words.
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