Oh Miss My Girl~
I am so very, very sorry. Maddie is such a little cutie...love her butterscotch colors & creamy paws...and her ears with the curl at the end. Her big brown eyes are so wonderful. Thank you for posting her picture. I understand the pain of losing your baby and not wanting to go home. After my Lucy passed @ 14.3 y/o, I worked extra hours just so I wouldn't have to go home. Once home, I was like a beached whale on the couch or the bed...where I would cry & think of nothing but Lucy. My head hurt. My gut hurt. Your loss is so new & so raw. The pain is unbearable. Your chest hearts...every fibre of your being hurts...your heart hurts.
Right now, please know that we are all here because we lost our heart & soul furry best friend. The empty, hollow feelings are real because you miss Maddie so much. Please go one day at a time. Some days, it's just about getting through the day or even getting through each hour/each minute. It's that fierce. The upset is that deep. I know it doesn't feel like anything will ever get better. It will. From my experience, it took much time. But finding this forum is a gift. I believe our babies helped us-- guided us to this place of compassion & healing. Please try & come here as often as you can. And please keep talking to Maddie-- aloud in the house or in the car. She's with you. She loves you forever. Maybe not now-- but when you can-- ask for & watch for little signs. It might be finding one of her toys lost long ago, or hearing a windchime, or seeing a dragonfly, a feather, a red or beige cardinal or even a special cloud in the sky. It could be anything at all. But if it beings you a moment, a single moment in all of your pain when you can take an actual breath, it may help you to feel & to know that Maddie is with you. Yes, she may be over the Rainbow Bridge with her new friends. But she is also watching over you. Your loving bond is too strong to just end.
Again I am very sorry. Day to day...please be kind to yourself.