jarvisfurmom

My baby boy was my everything and he just passed yesterday. What makes me feel horrible is the fact that I keep thinking that he could've passed because of sadness/depression because we weren't allowed to visit him at the vet and he's been only there for a day. The vet sends videos of him and we actually see tears in his eyes, and he seems confused as to where he is. It also seems like he's looking around for us. A day in the vet and then he passed afterwards. In most hours I would think that maybe the vet killed him on purpose and it makes me so angry and sad and I feel like I'm crazy. I wanted to talk to the vet last night while having a breakdown and ask about it but I feel like that would be a horrible thing to ask. My baby Jarvis was only 3 years old. 

Most of my teenage years have been filled with anger issues and so much family problems. I'm from an asian family and affection and openness aren't really a thing for us. But Jarvis makes it all feel better. At times when I would have breakdowns and I'd get ticked off by the littlest things, it would even come to the point that I would trash the house and throw things around just because I was mad. Then I'll see my boy looking at me, probably wondering what was going on. But he won't come near just yet, he doesn't show emotions of fear either, he'd just stare at me and that would be the time that I'd just break down and cry and say sorry and he would immediately come to me and comfort me. 

He was the only reason I wanted to go home. I always miss him. He was my bestfriend. God I feel so horrible right now. I'm a sh*tty teenager with a sh*tty life and he was the only thing that made everything better. He made me so happy. He was just so special. He would come with me everytime I'd go out and buy something at our village's store and I wouldn't even have to tie him up because our neighbor's knew him and he was just very kind. Instead of having everyone scared, people would end up petting him. Literally ANYONE. Without a leash. He was a very good boy and everyone knew it. Everyone loves him. Believe it or not, he was the reason I didn't wanna get psychiatric help even my family members ask me to due to my issues. Because I swear everything just becomes fine when I see him and talk to him and play with him and hold him in my arms. He was the best. Please come back baby.

I miss you so much my baby boy. I still open the door of that favorite restroom downstairs you always liked to sleep in. I still go every night in our garage to say goodmorning and goodnight to you. I know it's only been a day but man I feel so horrible and also angry that none of the people around me are grieving as much as I am and it sounds ridiculous. Now my baby isn't here to keep me calm and happy. I miss you so much my boy. I don't know what to do with my life now. 

I even feel guilty when I go downstairs and I get greeted with so much love and energy by our other younger baby girl who's also a belgian malinois because I feel sad that she's just not who I'm looking for. I make sure that she doesn't feel that way though. 

I'm glad that I found this forum. Now I know I'm not alone and some people are going through worse and I'm so sorry for that. Our babies deserve the best. The world is just so cruel.

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amberA
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, Jarvis. He was such a beautiful boy.

I lost my boy, Koty on 12/30/19 and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him or miss him. I still talk to him every day and I hope to see him again one day.
Amber Aronow
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grievingmama

@jarvisfurmom

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Jarvis was a beauty, and it sounds like he was just as beautiful inside and out. Losing our fur-kids is hard; it's hard because we deeply loved them and they loved us, unconditionally. One of the reasons it can feel so painful is the loss of that unconditional love. Our pets know us, completely, and love us just the way we are. There is a special bond between human and animal, some times that bond is so strong the animal is like a soulmate - a soul dog. It sounds to me like your Jarvis was that to you. While you are grieving your baby, remember how fortunate you've been, how the odds lined up so amazingly, that you two found each other in this crazy world and although your time was limited, the time you did get was so very full together. You got to experience true love, Jarvis got to have a best friend and feel safe and secure and loved. This was a blessing for you both. 

You mention that there's another dog in your home. Don't feel guilty that you miss your boy and have a different relationship with your other dog. Your other dog misses your boy too. Dogs form a very unique pack structure and when one departs the other animal grieves, just like we do. They have the same feelings but show them differently then we humans do. Maybe, when you feel up to it, spend some extra time with her. The two of you need each other right now. I bet she is also a special soul that needs a good friend and because of your close bond with her fur-brother, she will sense that he's a part of you (which he is and always will be). 

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jarvisfurmom
amberA wrote:
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, Jarvis. He was such a beautiful boy.

I lost my boy, Koty on 12/30/19 and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him or miss him. I still talk to him every day and I hope to see him again one day.
thank you so much. im so glad im not alone in what im currently feeling. i feel bad for all other fur moms here who has to go through such pain. i do believe we'll see our babies again one day. 
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jarvisfurmom

@jarvisfurmom

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Jarvis was a beauty, and it sounds like he was just as beautiful inside and out. Losing our fur-kids is hard; it's hard because we deeply loved them and they loved us, unconditionally. One of the reasons it can feel so painful is the loss of that unconditional love. Our pets know us, completely, and love us just the way we are. There is a special bond between human and animal, some times that bond is so strong the animal is like a soulmate - a soul dog. It sounds to me like your Jarvis was that to you. While you are grieving your baby, remember how fortunate you've been, how the odds lined up so amazingly, that you two found each other in this crazy world and although your time was limited, the time you did get was so very full together. You got to experience true love, Jarvis got to have a best friend and feel safe and secure and loved. This was a blessing for you both. 

You mention that there's another dog in your home. Don't feel guilty that you miss your boy and have a different relationship with your other dog. Your other dog misses your boy too. Dogs form a very unique pack structure and when one departs the other animal grieves, just like we do. They have the same feelings but show them differently then we humans do. Maybe, when you feel up to it, spend some extra time with her. The two of you need each other right now. I bet she is also a special soul that needs a good friend and because of your close bond with her fur-brother, she will sense that he's a part of you (which he is and always will be). 


thank you so much for this and i feel very sorry for your loss as well. by seeing your sweet and compassionate responses to all other grieving fur moms and dads, i knew well enough that you are one great fur mom yourself. all your fur babies were lucky to have you and i just wish one day we could see them again ad be with them. 
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miasara
I’m so very sorry for the loss of Jarvis. My sweet pup was only 3 as well when she died. It’s sad when any pet dies but particularly so when they are so young. I know exactly how you feel. It’s been 5 months for me but I still look for my pup. She was always the first thing I saw every morning and I still sometimes open my eyes expecting to see her. I hope you know that the love you two shared will always be with you- death doesn’t take that away. Please keep posting- this is a very caring and supportive group. Take care. 
mia sara
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Bichonz
I'm so sorry for your loss of Jarvis. I lost Mickey 3 weeks ago to cancer, and his older littermate Joey was with him when he passed. I have noticed Joey acting like Mickey used to do, in a few small ways. I have accidentally called Joey "Mickey". I try to think of Joey as channeling the spirit of Mickey; he's visiting me through Joey. That brings me some comfort.
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