Just a few weeks ago, I shared my grief with you all, about my sad loss of Zippy and her son Buzzy and you were so kind, just to read it and thank you to those who replied, but today I have had such a dark day, and I feel as if I'm back in such deep despair.  I knew today was going to be tough as it is the first time I have mowed the lawn since losing them, but I never expected this and I have been in tears all afternoon.

I always used to buy my babies special doggie treats and they all loved them, eagerly waiting their turn, well today, I found a packet in my jacket pocket, unopened.  Just looking at them made me feel so guilty that they did not get them, I held them in my hand and just broke down, I should have given Zippy and Buzzy their treat, now they have gone, and the treats are still here, I know it sounds so silly, and you all probably thing I am being silly, but that's how I am feeling at the moment.  Do I give these treats to the rest of my babies or throw them away, I just can't do anything with them at the moment, and would Zippy and Buzzy mind if I shared them out?

I just feel so lost, I'm sorry to be like this but I just don't know what to do.

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You are not being silly about the treats. I would hold onto them for awhile until they are less impactful and then you can decide what to do with them. Now that you're babies are gone, they won't mind if you share them, but do it when the time is right for you.

Any little thing like this will send you into a meltdown for awhile.  Even though you will start to expect them, they will still come out of nowhere and blindside you.  This is so normal, but it still feels awful.

Feeling lost,sad,out of control...these are all normal feelings in the grieving process.

Thinking of you and your babies.

Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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Awwwww.  I'm so sorry you had a big, huge meltdown today.  Those things hit us out of the blue, and they can really knock the wind out of us, can't they?  That is what happened to you today.  I think most of us have had days like that when something just smacks us in the chops with the reality of our losses.  There's no need to feel guilty.  It's absolutely normal to feel that way, but if you had had any idea those treats were there, or that they might be the last ones, you would have given them to your pups in a heartbeat.  We all know (and so do they) that you weren't holding out  on them. ;-)

I agree with Karen ~ hold onto the treats until you decide what you want to do with them.  You might even decide to hang onto them a while longer, just as mementos of the joy they brought your pups.  Look at the treats and recall the excitement they always created, and then revel in the memory of those wonderful days gone by.  yes, tears will flow, but how could you possibly help buy let a smile shine through at some point?  I didn't even know Zippy and Buzzy, but just picturing your two smiling rotties brings a big smile to my face. 

I'm so glad you came here to post about this today.  I remember many times in the past when I had similar meltdowns, and how much it helped me to post here and find a whole community of virtual shoulder to cry on and arms to enfold me.  I hope you will always feel the same comfort here.


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley




In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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