jessbrooke_
Hi, I am so heartbroken and desperate. It's 2 AM right now as I'm typing this because I can't get any sleep tonight because my 8 month old cat passed away yesterday morning. I knew he was sick for a while possibly, he wasn't all right in the head. He had eye problems constantly when he was younger and we took him to the vet for it. I think he had a disorder within his brain because he acted unbalanced and lethargic and never meowed and a week before his death, he had a seizure. He was so friendly though, the friendliest cat I ever had and I had 9 others. He always would greet me when I came home and he always wanted love and affection. I am only guessing what caused his death, but I knew he wasn't going to live much longer but I didn't expect it to be so soon. He was an all white, blue eyed cat. I am heartbroken and so emotional about this. He was born in April of this year and was the runt of the bunch in a litter of 3. He might have possibly been a twin to his other brother, who is still alive and looks like him only he is much, much bigger. I just want to be okay and I feel like I have never been this upset about a loss in my life.
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Kimberlymichelle
I am so sorry for the loss of your cat. It takes time to grieve when you have experienced a loss like yours. I lose my beloved dog Howie 4 days ago and I am still struggling. Animals have such a way of getting into your heart. Their love and acceptance is the sweetest love that you can know.  Please know I am thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort for you as you navigate the grief process.
How lucky I am to have had something that I loved so much. Love to my Howie....always and forever.
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jessbrooke_
Thank you. That means so much to me, I am praying for you as well. I feel like I have failed my kitten in not knowing he might have been in pain. I know he had a lot of eye problems and after researching today I came to find out some things I didn't know before and I feel like I have let my poor baby down, I had no clue. I thought I couldn't do anything else, I thought he would be okay. I am deeply saddened thinking about what if he was in pain and I didn't know, I don't want him to think of me as some kind of monster for not doing anything. :(
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Catladykaren
I'm sorry you lost your baby. The "what ifs" and guilt are very natural although terrible parts of grieving. And then when you start doing more research, you feel like you should've realized something needed treatment when you read all the symptoms that seem to apply. Or worse, find out how common the ailment is, and how easily it seems to treat it. I will tell you some things I have learned. Even veterinarians have pets that get sick and don't make it. So many different illnesses have the same symptoms but very different outcomes. It is harder to diagnose our beloved fur babies because they can't tell us where it hurts or when. Tests are usually not definitive, and so another, then another, almost to diagnose by exclusion. Not as much research has been done on illnesses in our little ones and therefore there are not as many medicines, treatments, and tests have been developed. There are limits to science and medicine with humans as well and I don't mean to say anyone shouldn't trust it or try it. Sometimes it is just very hard to figure out what is wrong, what can be done or what will actually work. I read so many cat books and manuals back in the day so I could be more aware I suppose. But my babies still got sick too. You took care of this little one, loved, and fed him. I'm sure he is grateful for the life and love you gave him. We want to protect our babies and keep them safe from harm, and you obviously loved him to notice his little quirks and worry about them. We do the best that we know how, and you can't beat yourself up for what you did not know. He is lucky to be loved by someone like you who appreciated him even if he was a "runt." It is not easy losing a kitty even when you know its coming. It is okay to grieve and everyone has their own way.
Love is eternal....
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