I feel like I can’t breathe. This past Monday I put to rest one of the loves of my life Caramel. She just turned 10 years old in December and I can still see her wagging her tail as her family sang her Happy Birthday and she ate her special cookie I bought her. Never did I think that just 3 months later she would be gone. Her health just deteriorated so fast. The vet stated she found a "significant mass" in her bladder and recommended I put her down since there were no good treatment options. I stayed with her and laid my head on hers as she took her last breath and whispered in her ear how much I loved her as I rubbed her back and then she was gone.

My baby was so special to me. Since the moment I laid eyes on her February 27th, 2010 (I kept all her adoption papers) at the animal shelter I knew she was the one for me. I had my 8-year old son with me and she looked up at me with those big brown eyes and all the other dogs disappeared. Since the moment I brought her home we had spent almost every night together in the same room most of the time in the same bed as there were many times when I would wake up to her face looking at me from the pillow next to mine. But, now that she’s gone I don’t know what to do. I keep staring at her bed which I haven’t moved and looking at her pictures and videos on my phone. I don’t know how to do this or if I can. I need my baby.

IMG_0639.jpg  IMG_3024.jpg
                                                                            Last time I held her paw

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I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your special baby. She sounds like one of the once in a lifetime dogs that we are blessed to share such a special bond with. There is never a good time to lose your pet but it is especially sad when they seem to be OK and then you find out there is something wrong with them that can't be fixed. My special boy, Cody was diagnosed last November with a brain tumor and January 11th we had to make the gut wrenching decision to let him go. It has been over 3 months now and my heart still aches for him. He slept with me too and night time is the hardest for me. It doesn't help that we are stuck inside either and that we can't get out to distract ourselves from the emptiness of a house without our babies. I will pray that you find the strength to go through this tough grieving process. Remember those of us on the forum are here for you and understand all to well the pain you feel.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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i am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful one. My heart aches for you, reading your words. I lost my everything, my best friend and constant companion this week too, on Monday, also the painful decision to have to let her go much earlier than I had thought. This has shaken me to my core, and I know you are feeling exactly the same way. You were so good to your baby, so glad you gave her a loving home. We are all here for you, and somehow we’ll all get through this shared experience of grief. Please know we understand and are praying for you to find comfort in the love you shared. That bond can never be broken. Take care.
Sherry Morgado 
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My heart aches for you. Just know that I feel the same as you do right now.
I had to let my baby go on Tuesday.he was 10 and a half.
I feel your pain it is just too much. I haven't moved a single thing that he touched in my apartment so I am currently staying with my parents because I can't stand to look at his bowls and his bed....

I feel so lost without him and just be sure you are not alone in your pain. Those Souldogs make us whole and I feel like part of me died with him...

I also don't know how to get through this...

They are our babies / our life....they share happy moments with us and they build us up when we are down and now they are just gone....

It is still so hard to believe...

Feel hugged <3
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I'm so terribly sorry for your already broken heart breaks for you as well.  That photo that you posted of you holding her paw for the last time has got me crying. We lost our boy, Quincy a little over a month ago and although it doesn't make the pain go away, please know that everyone here understands the depth of grief we feel for our fur babies.

I understand what you say when you feel like you can't breathe.  I told my husband I didn't know how I was going to go through the next 30-40 yrs without our Quincy...that seems impossible. My hope is that time really does help because grief is physical as well as emotional pain and at this point, I'm not seeing much to look forward to.

Hugs to you and take.
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So sorry for your loss.  Like Quincysmomma, I was incredibly touched by the photo of you holding her paw for the last time.  I lost my baby last week after 19 years together (tuxedo cat named Patch). I raised from a kitten and  I miss him very much.  Yes, the grief is physical - a piece of your heart is missing.  Little by little things will get better.  What you are feeling is normal.  I can tell you that after about a week, I noticed that each day was a tiny bit better - that I could look at his photos and smile.  He had this huge personality that is missing from the house.  The first weekend when I did wash all I could think of was that I was washing his memory away.  It will take time - don't be hard on yourself for feeling this way.  

This is a great place to pour out your emotions because everyone understands and does not judge (many people do not understand the loss of a pet).  

Bless you and I am very sorry.
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