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CindysDad

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Reply with quote  #1 
I lost my dog to old age (degenerative spinal disease), she was 14, July 10 2014 was the day.

To this day, I honeslty haven't grieved appropriately, so my psych' tells me, maybe more avoidance at looking at any of her pictures, etc.
She came at a time when I really needed her in my life as I lived with an extremely mentally unbalanced "father" and as a result of those 11 years of mental abuse, I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and battling thoughts of something that shouldn't be discussed. 
I haven't been the same since Cindy died and it's been 5 years.

I feel terribly guilty for not having any of her pictures up on the wall, or on my phone as a wallpaper, it's just too hard.  However now, I may start to do that.

I also have a lot of her toys and bed here with me and I do need to purge my own stuff and I would feel like absolute crap if I were to get rid of her bed and some of her toys.
I really don't know what to do.

I hope some of you can share your experiences and ideas.
It's a delicate thing for me, but I'm willing to try.

Apologies if this was too long to read, I just thought this was the right place to ask for help from others who have gone through the same thing.

Thanks so much.
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Jimbo106

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Reply with quote  #2 
I'm sorry for your loss of Cindy. Coming to terms is different for each person, there is no "right" way. I adopted two kitties when Jamie passed, but I bought them new carriers and saved hers. I also put her favorite toys with a small memorial I made for her. Around this time of year, 8 years since she passed, I get a bit sad, but most days are O.K.. Life has moved on, but her memory will always live with me, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a tear.

Wishing you healing.

Jim and the girls 

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pannklaus

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Reply with quote  #3 
I am very sorry about the loss of your beloved Cindy.  There is no right way to grieve as you will see from reading the posts here.   Some people grieve a lot right after the loss and then move on; some grieve from the beginning and can't move on; some may not fully face the loss for a long time.

I don't think there is any need to get rid of her things until it feels right to you.  I gave away my precious Lenny's things to other cats who were in need so that everything that left the house went to use by other cats, except for the few things  I had to destroy because they may not have been safe to be used. 

If pictures cause you pain, it isn't required that you display them anywhere.  At some point you will probably want to see the pictures and then you can display them wherever you like.  

There are no "shoulds" in this process.  By coming to this forum you are taking a step forward in grieving and I hope that you will stay here with us.  Everyone here is grieving the loss of a special furbaby and understands what you are going through.  Continue to write when you feel like it and there are people who will be here for you.

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