It's been a week today since I had to send my baby over the rainbow bridge... and I hate myself for having to make that decision.
She was 11, with stage 1 kidney disease but thats not what took her.
In 4 days she developed fluid around her lungs, and due to her age the vet couldn't do anything to help save her without putting more pressure on her body or doing treatment that would've possibly taken her life anyway.

Since that day I have struggled to do my daily life.
She was always there, when i was gaming, watching TV, when I was up getting for work, she was always there suggling me.
Its hard... i hate myself.
I spent her last 4 days dragging her from vet to vet to find what was wrong with her, only to end in heartbreak....
I feel alone, i only adopted her in July 2019... Only 4 months and my heart is shattering....
I have to be distracted constantly otherwise I'm a misrable mess...
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Dear Rebekah
I think you are feeling what most of us on here are feeling-heartbreak. It is the worst decision to make-to end your buddy's life. But you have to know you made the right decision. Yes, it is terrible for us but it was humane for your baby. You didn't want her to suffer right? 
I know its hard to see right now but time will make things a little bit better. We will always have the heartache but when the fog lifts, you will know what you did is because you had to
Sending you a hug
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From one 'Rebecca' to another.  I share your loss, your grief, your guilt and your heartache.  I was fostering my little girl since June 2019, never had a cat as pleasant or as nice as her.  She wanted nothing but love and would purr the loudest, longest purr I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

I had to let her go on Monday, she was a sickly little one and her body couldn't cope.  There's so much more I wish I had done.  I can't stop crying, I can still smell her and I keep picturing her adorable, beautiful little face. I don't know what to say to make you feel any better but know that you are not alone 
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