JaspersMom Show full post »
tramseyer
Amen, JaspersMom.  Thank you so much for posting this. 
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Hi Jasper,
It's mommy. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts and in my heart. I have been taking good care of your sister Pootie Tang (even though you two never met, she is still your sister). I had a little talk with her and let her know it is just not her time yet, but when she gets tired and done with this terrible cancer taking such a toll on her sweet little body, well then she is to look up at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, and let me know she wants to come meet you, and I will know. You and I always had such an incredible bond my sweet boy, and no time or distance could ever break that connection.

Pootie Tang and I have the same bond, I love her so much, she really helped to heal my heart when I had to say goodbye to you. I can still feel you here, sometimes at night when the darkness is all around, and the silence surrounds me, I can feel you, and it gives me such peace and comfort that even after all this time, we are still together, in every way that counts. Keep watching over us Jasper, and please watch over your little sister PT who is so sick and needs our prayers. I know that when it is time to say goodbye to her, that you will show her where the most beautiful rainbows are, and you two can talk about your adventures here on earth with your mom, and how much fun we had. I have to go now, but I will write again soon. I miss you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow ... love you forever and a day.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Chinadoll
Such a touching and beautiful post, my heart was moved by your words. Blessings to you. I wish I had words to express my feelings better, just know I am thinking of you and your little Pootie Tang today.
Charlie
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Charlie,
Thank you so much for your very kind words, and it means so much to know that my sweet girl and I are in your thoughts. It really helps to know we are not alone. It is so hard to watch your little one decline a little at a time, but in the back of my mind and in my heart, there is a tiny little place that is filled with hope and waiting on a miracle. I know it has happened before for others, but the odds are against it. The doctor gave us the diagnosis, and the look in her eyes was so compassionate and sympathetic, but with not even a glimmer of hope. So I know I have to steel myself and be strong and accept the inevitable, all the while hoping and praying that she is with me for as long as possible, and that she is not hurting. I have written this before, that denial is not an option here, but even though my mind has accepted what is happening, my heart is not quite ready yet. Thank you again for your kindness and understanding which brings me the peace and comfort I so desperately need right now.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
elliemeewiz
I love your letter to Jasper too, it’s so sweet and full of love. I’m so sorry about him and Pootie Tang- love her name😻 It is so painful to see them suffer from cancer. I thought we were going to lose Syb last night when she went into heart failure and I told Wiz and Angie and everyone that she was coming to see them and I’d be a wreck and would need them even more now and begged them to help me get through this and to take care of her. Hugs to you 💕
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Hi ellimeewiz,
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. I am so sorry for what you have been going through with your Sybil in congestive heart failure, but I am so glad to hear that she has rallied and is doing better. I could not be happier for you. Right now Pootie Tang is still eating and drinking, and even did her quick run through the house last night, which she hasn't done in quite awhile. She seems to have perked up just a bit, so I am thankful for that, all the while knowing what is ahead. Let me know how your sweet Syb is doing, and I will keep you updated on little Pootie Tang, and I will keep you and your sweet girl in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you again for your sweet words and helping me to know I am not alone. Hugs. 
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
mpaull
What a beautifully written post. I just lost my Auggie yesterday-a 10 year old Doxie short hair. My heart is crushed and his loss is so profound. He completed me in all of the good and taught me how to take the high road when grace and courage is necessary. How can all of this be gone...my love is so deep and the pain of his loss is crippling. Thank you for letting me share!
Auggie's Mom
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Dear mpaull,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Auggie. Your words about him completing you in all of the good and teaching you to take the high road when grace and courage are necessary are beautiful and it is so obvious the very special and loving bond you had with your little one. My heart so goes out to you and I wish I had the words to give you a little comfort and peace at this very sad time. All I can say is that when I had to say goodbye to my Jasper, it was a pain and sorrow that I have never experienced before, but as the months went by, it did not get easier, it just became different. I suppose that eventually, we do learn to accept and live with this new normal, although how could anything be even close to normal without our dear ones by our side. 

I was so sad over my Jasper's passing that every day I would wake up, I would think, how in the world can I go on without him, he was my world, and the little light of my life. Now I wake up and know that my sweet boy is still so very much with me, they really do stay with us in so very many ways, and all the ways that count. So just try to take oe day at a time, still talk to your dear Auggie, because I do believe they can still hear us,  and they can still feel our love for them, and write to him and about him. Just pour out your love for him in your words, and one day all of a sudden, the pain and sadness will ease ever so slightly, and you will be able to know without a doubt, that you did your vey best for him, and that he knew and knows how very much he is loved and cherished. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, the first days are always the hardest, and the emptiness we feel without them seems to be relentless, but if you tuck him safely away in your heart, he will never ever leave you. Again, I am so sorry and I only wish I had the words that would help you find some peace, just know you are not alone.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Chinadoll
Jasper's mom, just wanted to drop by and let you know we are praying for your PT, such a difficult time, you will be on our minds and in our prayers. Your response to mpaull was so beautiful, you spoke from your heart and that's the best we can do to help others during these times. All the advice you gave is so right, all of it will help a little along this journey. Writing to them, talking to them, that is what has helped me so much. It was hard in the beginning to speak out loud the words that were in my heart, but as time went by, it became easier. Blessings to you.
Charlie
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Charlie, 
Thank you so much for keeping PT in your prayers, it means so much to me that she is in other's thoughts and that her name is being spoken to the heavens, and maybe just maybe, her guardian angel will be listening, and will be watching over her. I am hoping that my words helped mpaull even a little bit, because I remember those first days after losing Jasper, and if I can help even one person walk this journey of grief knowing they are not alone, well then I do think my sweet boy would be very proud of me and even the smallest difference I have made for better in someone else's life, someone who is hurting, just like I did, three years ago on a very cold and dark February night.

I am so dreading being in that position again of those first days and weeks of loss, but I know I have to face reality. I would give anything for a miracle, you do hear about those happening from time to time, and if anyone deserves one, this dear little kitty of mine does. Sometimes things are just not meant to be, but I do know one thing, she does know how much she is loved, and that is so important when they make their journey across the bridge.

If she can still feel my love and care, even when she is starting to slip away from me, well then I have done my job as her mom and her protector, but oh how I would want to pull her back with me. But if and when she starts slipping away, I will try to be unselfish, and tell her it is okay, for her to go toward the light, and then I would tell her that she has been the sweetest, brightest, most radiant light in my world. Then I will try to picture her walking slowly, and then starting to run, so healthy and vibrant once more, to her brother Jasper, who is waiting for her. He can show her where all the most beautiful rainbows are, and maybe they will even send their mama one. Thank you again Charlie for your words of support, and thank you so very much for caring about my little PT.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Hi my sweet boy,
I just wanted to thank you for the signs, you always know just when I need them the most, and when they come, they are like a warm ray of sunshine to me, so comforting, so sweet, and so absolutely necessary to help keep me on this journey, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, breathe in, breathe out, until I see you once again. I really don't think I could have come this far without you and our connection and bond, so unbreakable and so amazing.  

Remember that cold February night when we had to say such a sad and unexpected goodbye, well I did want to let you know that when I arrived home with your empty carrier, totally devastated, totally spent, nothing left inside of me, and laid down on my bed, I felt you jump up and lay right beside me. At first I thought it might be the shock of losing you and the haze of grief causing me to imagine something that was not there. But now I know without a doubt that it was you, I heard you, I felt you, and I am not sure how you were able to come back and comfort me, but it meant the world to me that somehow you came back to me, even if only for a little while You had just crossed the bridge, yet you found a way to come back to me. I know you are watching over me, your brother Jingles, and your sister Pootie Tang, and I am forever grateful.


She is doing pretty good, thanks be to God, and I was able to enjoy her through the Christmas and New Year holiday, and for that I am so thankful But just like with you, no matter how much time I have with her, it will never be enough. I am doing alright, hanging in there, trying to be thankful for each day, and live each day the way you did, with a sweet and loving spirit. You may have only been on this earth for a short seven years, but look how much you taught me in that time, and did we ever have fun together, such special times filled with light and laughter. I miss you my little buddy, more than you will ever know. You are so dear to my heart, and never ever forget that someone down here loves you with all her heart and all her soul, and will never ever forget you, and all the sweetness and joy you left behind. Please come to me in a dream my sweet boy, I need you so badly, and I just want to hold you in my arms one more time. Wait for me Jasper, your mama loves you forever and a day.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0