MissinChew
I'm heartbroken like many of you to even be at this site, however I know it's filled with many people that understand and deeply care!

I don't know where to really begin as my words are so few and far between! Up until yesterday, we had an English Mastiff. He was the best companion for our family and he had brought so much joy into our lives over the past 2 years and 2 months! We love(d) him so incredibly much!

About 2 months ago is when things started to turn pretty bad for us. One afternoon, we were all hanging out - gearing up to attend a softball game for our youngest daughter when Chewy began having a seizure, it was terrifying! It lasted for what seemed to be forever (but really about 5 minutes) and then once he came out of it, he became extremely aggressive....we could not calm him down. Imagine a full grown English Mastiff coming after you, growling, baring teeth, foaming at the mouth; it was terrifying. We ended up trapped in our rooms for over an hour before he started to soften up....he was far from his normal self but he wasn't trying to attack us at that point. We called the vet (of course over the weekend), animal shelters, police department and anywhere we could think of to get help for our guy. In the midst of talking to the vet he had a 2nd seizure so we took him in for a emergency visit....everything turned out to be normal! Idiopathic epilepsy was the diagnosis! What??? I'm a nurse and a mom, so I had lots of emotions and questions roaming through my mind in regards to getting our fur baby better all the while protecting our human kiddos.

Well, fast forward 2 months and I'm here, at this site bawling my eyes out because I'm regretting everything about life in the past 30 hours. In the past 2 months, we've gone through 3 medications, countless seizures each one lasting longer and becoming more traumatic than the last. Then, to top it off, the aggression was horrible and seemed to be getting worse - we always had to position ourselves in certain areas or rooms in the house just in the event a seizure would occur. We had to stop taking our dog for walks, car rides, he had designated sleeping areas in the house (one seizure occured at 3 in the morning and it resulted in a disturbance due to the loud barking and aggression) etc because we never knew when a seizure would hit. We talked about rehoming him however we felt that was an irresponsible choice knowing what he showcased in our home and ultimately we went with the advice of the vet to lay our sweet baby to rest. This was the most traumatic thing I've ever had to do, although I knew it was coming there was no amount of prepping I could do. I've been a mess since yesterday afternoon and I just want him back more than anything. I just wish there was another way....he was the sweetest guy, so full of love. I know it wasn't really "him" during those fits of aggression but that doesn't make this any easier. I felt like we didn't really have a choice because he could have done extreme damage to anyone during that post-ictal stage and the seizures weren't something that we could anticipate or predict.

We completely revamped life over the past few months....stopped having people over, made escape routes, our daily lives revolved around his medication schedule - everything that I would have gladly continued to do if the aggression hadn't been apart of this. It just hurts even more because he was so young....I miss him so much and I don't foresee this getting any better...
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CK1991
I'm so sorry this happened to Chewy and to your family. It's so unfair, especially when Chewy was so young. I think you did the absolute right thing. He obviously loved you and your family and felt a part of it. This "idiopathic epilepsy" doesn't sound like it could be controlled and you certainly tried everything to keep your boy. In the end though you need to really look at his quality of life and if this horrible disease meant he couldn't go for car rides or even dog walks anymore, then the most compassionate choice is the one you made. I know it will take time but I hope you are able to take comfort from the fact that he did have many good times with a family who gave him love. Hugs to you!
Ck
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MissinChew
Thank you so much for taking the time to read through our story and to comment such kind words. There are just so many questions....as well as the dreaded "what more could I have done"? I'm praying that time will help heal our family but the minutes just seem to tick by. Thanks again for your compassion.....
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Monty13
Wow! So sorry this happened to your boy - and to you and your family! He sure was a gorgeous dog. I love the picture that you posted! I really don't think there was more you could have done for him unfortunately. It's just a terrible twist of fate that this happened. I know how hard this is and how painful and will say a prayer for you as well. Take Care!
Monty
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