So my cat is a family pet, he loves me, my brother and my mom and dad and I loved him so much, whenever I was sad or had a bad day he would cheer me up. We’ve had him for 12 years, I still remember the day we got him like it was yesterday. I decide I would travel America for year because that’s always been something I would like to do so I did it it broke my heart to leave him but he had mom and dad. This August he had very high levels of fluid in his lungs, which the vets where fantastic and drained and have us tablets for him, and hated not being there whilst it was happing and I felt so guilty. The vet said he had an enlarged heart. So a week later I came home for a week, he was his normal self drinking from the fish tank, eating like he does (he loves his food) and playing and I was happy I was there and I felt happy and I was confident that it was over and he was okay. So I went back to America. Two month later it happened again so they drained him. Then yesterday whilst on Skype he had his breathing fit again, and it was scary watching him but I spoke to him, and sang this song to him that calms him down I’ve always sang it to him since he was a kitten and after coming of Skype my mom said he has calmed down and is moving again. Until last night when I got the message a message that I never wanted to hear of my brother. They had to put him down because it happened again and the vet said it was just going to keep happening and the more they drain the more risk of him having a heart attack. I just feel so depressed I wanted to be there holding him when he died I feel so guilty for being in another country away from him, I feel like it’s all my fault, like this all happens because I went away, I feel like a bad person. I so annoyed with myself and I feel bad that I feel angry and my family when this isn’t there fault they did the right thing putting him down. I just wish I was there to hold him one last time. I don’t know how to get over his death at all. I don’t want to ever go home because I know once I walk in my house I’ll be expecting him there on his blanket like he always was I don’t know what to do how to cope when I do go back and even now I have another couple of months till I go back home and I just want to enjoy myself but I don’t know if I will. Does anyone know how to cope with this? Also he’s best friend Norman our hamster died a month ago also and it was a shock they loved each other so much it was strange for a cat and hamster. I can’t believe I’ve lost two of my best friends so closed together I have no idea how to cope !
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NorthWestRobin - I am so sorry for the tremendous loss of your beloved cat, as well as Norman. Your tuxedo boy was an absolutely gorgeous creature; thank you for sharing the photos with us. I loved the pictures of him with his best buddy Norman!

It must have been so difficult for you being away whilst he was having his health challenges. The sad fact is that time marches on, no matter what else is happening in our families, and you were living your life as fully as you could. I'm very glad that you were able to connect with your family via Skype, and being able to sing to him was very touching.

All of us here understand how it feels to lose a beloved member of our inner circle, and I hope you'll derive comfort and support from all the wonderful people here who have experienced similar losses and are struggling to cope with such a tremendous shift in their everyday reality.

Whatever you feel is absolutely legitimate, and it's very normal to feel guilty about not having done more, or in your case, for having been away. It's very clear that you loved him so much, and that he had a wonderful life with you. Grief has no template or schedule; express how you feel, and all the better if it's in the company of like-minded people.

Sending warmest sympathies and a big, big hug.
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