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MonicaRizzo
Mel,
I am so sorry for your loss.  I feel like you are sharing the same experience I am currently having.  I lost my beloved Luca in August and I always say I feel like I can't breathe.  I have other fur babies and I love them very much but Luca was the love of my life and my soulmate and I am not coping well at all.  I still cry every single night.  I have even consulted with a pet medium to talk to him because I am so lost without Luca and I feel desperate.  My husband loved Luca just as much and is so sad but he his coping much better then me. I feel like I am never coming back from this devastation.  I know the pain will lessen more and more with time but right now I live every single day with a broken heart.  I wouldn't even let my husband put the Christmas tree up this year because we adopted Luca as a Christmas gift for me 9 years ago and I just didn't have it in me to look at anything Christmas-y.  

I know the only comfort I can give you is that you are not alone in what you are feeling. 
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PeppermintPatty
Chinadoll wrote:
Mel, your post broke my heart, I don't know if there is anything I can say, but I truly do understand where you are in this grief process. I lost my little Chihuahua 'China Doll' in January to congestive heart failure, she was 10. She slept with me on my chest for 10 years, every single night. I learned how to sleep on my back and not move, and I gladly did this. She was 2.9 lbs when she passed, her highest weight was 3.5 lbs. So little, so sweet, an angel. I still can't talk about the minutes before and after she passed, I don't think I ever can. The grief was profound, I have never felt anything like it, it was shocking, scary. Couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Going to bed was the worse possible situation, to not have her touching me, it was awful. I learned later that she is what they call my 'heart dog'. I had many dogs before her, but this loss, was so different, not even remotely the same. I did a lot of reading to try and understand why this grief was so over the top, the 'heart dog' explanation helped me. I'm logical too, my whole career was in computers, math, science. But this level of pain and grief just didn't make sense to me, until I understood the bond, the bond that was so different than any before, one I probably will never experience again. It changed me forever, but I wouldn't trade anything to avoid this. This grief, this level of pain, is only because of how intense the love and relationship was between us. It was unavoidable, once I fell in love, this journey of grief was to come. I am so thankful that I outlived her, the thought of me leaving the house one day and not returning to her was unbearable, so, this is the way it had to be. I am a better person for knowing her, I am changed forever, she left me a gift that I will have for the rest of my life. I feel Peet was this kind of love for you. Your heart dog, a once in a lifetime bond. You will make it, it will be hard, waves of emotions on and off, but slowly you will come out of this dark time and into a lighter time. Peet will live in your heart forever, you will be reunited one day, this bond cannot be broken. I'm so glad you found your way here, so many wonderful people helped me along my way, I hope we can help you. You have my prayers and blessings for peace and comfort in the weeks and months ahead.


Return to this post as much as you need to.
These words have helped me immensely.
It's a bond like no other.
Forever in our hearts ...
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cathyhal1
My Baby Gigi, cutest cocker spaniel ever passed 2 weeks ago.  Cancer, only had 3 weeks to be with her.  Missed all the signs, it was to late.
9 years old, acted like a puppy still.  I too have NO idea how to move forward.  The pain is so deep and stabbing, each day is killing me more knowing she is never coming back.
She was baby, I am single, no kids and no other animals.  I am in a really bad situation due to the fact she was my love, family, best friend.  Now that she is gone the whole inside me is unbearable.
I have no idea what to do, how to work again, how to fill the hours of the day.  Who knew this pain, and the tears never ending.  And at my age 52, i will never get another dog because I don't think I would make it through this again.  I am barely getting by right now.
Cathy Hal
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malachi
I am sorry for your loss. I too understand and feel that pain. The sad part is, is that you never really know when it will get easier for you. It’s been almost a month since my Malachi passed away and it’s still like it was yesterday.
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PeppermintPatty
cathyhal1 wrote:
My Baby Gigi, cutest cocker spaniel ever passed 2 weeks ago.  Cancer, only had 3 weeks to be with her.  Missed all the signs, it was to late.
9 years old, acted like a puppy still.  I too have NO idea how to move forward.  The pain is so deep and stabbing, each day is killing me more knowing she is never coming back.
She was baby, I am single, no kids and no other animals.  I am in a really bad situation due to the fact she was my love, family, best friend.  Now that she is gone the whole inside me is unbearable.
I have no idea what to do, how to work again, how to fill the hours of the day.  Who knew this pain, and the tears never ending.  And at my age 52, i will never get another dog because I don't think I would make it through this again.  I am barely getting by right now.


Cathy,

I have made the decision. I must say goodbye to my beautiful little girl tomorrow. I have done everything I needed to do over this long weekend to keep her going, to no avail. I just did this in August with her sister. The only alternative right now is the emergency vet, and it's not really about cost. It's just the fact that not only do they charge quadruple the rate (which includes a mandatory exam -- duh, she's dying), but it is done in a cold examining room. The Cat Doctor, where I have taken her since a kitten, has a special room bereavement room where it is conducted and where the people I have gotten to know there actually care.

I am so alone right now. I have leaned on my friends all that I could, especially just last August. It's a new year and I really wanted to start it off strong since I am self-employed. Instead, I am probably going to be up all night crying and holding my little angel for the final hours that she has graced my life. There is not enough tissue left for the tears that are falling. And I fear that I will be useless, work-wise, for the rest of the week, or however it takes to mourn this incredible loss.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for this forum. I'm totally devastated. I can't seem to breathe either.
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Smokey3887
PeppermintPatty wrote:


Cathy,

I have made the decision. I must say goodbye to my beautiful little girl tomorrow. I have done everything I needed to do over this long weekend to keep her going, to no avail. I just did this in August with her sister. The only alternative right now is the emergency vet, and it's not really about cost. It's just the fact that not only do they charge quadruple the rate (which includes a mandatory exam -- duh, she's dying), but it is done in a cold examining room. The Cat Doctor, where I have taken her since a kitten, has a special room bereavement room where it is conducted and where the people I have gotten to know there actually care.

I am so alone right now. I have leaned on my friends all that I could, especially just last August. It's a new year and I really wanted to start it off strong since I am self-employed. Instead, I am probably going to be up all night crying and holding my little angel for the final hours that she has graced my life. There is not enough tissue left for the tears that are falling. And I fear that I will be useless, work-wise, for the rest of the week, or however it takes to mourn this incredible loss.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for this forum. I'm totally devastated. I can't seem to breathe either.




I am so sorry you had to go thru this. I am currently taking care of my sick pet Smokey  I am not sure what and when I will have to do this.



Smokeys mom
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Timmymissu
What a beautiful dog im so sorry for your loss i lost my golden 1 and a half years ago and still cry im having a bad day today as we all miss our fur babies god bless xxxx
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giselamv82
My heart is with you.... The pain does not go away but you learn to live with it. It becomes a part of your life because you are human and have loved and lost. My girl has been gone for a little over a yr and I have lost others before her. Within 4 yrs I lost 4 dogs but her loss was the one that shut me down. I can not physically speak about her passing. I can write it and cry but talking just doesn't seem right yet. So I understand how you feel. I find myself losing my breath when it hits me that she is gone. But I look down at my other dogs and I know they've lost their friend as well. I love them even more because Koda has left me with so much more love to give. So please remember that you gave him the best life ever!
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