Hello, everyone. My name is Andrea, I'm 23 years old and my beloved dog Tomás died yesterday. He died in his sleep, warm under the sun. He was 17 years old and he was a Poodle. He was the most noble dog that I've ever met and my best friend. I loved him like crazy. My mom got him when I was 6 and I can't remember a time in my life without Tomás in it. He was just part of me, we were partners in crime. I swear, his eyes were full of love when he looked at me.
Today they sent me the ashes and I can't stand the thought of my beautiful dog inside that little wooden box. I know he wasn't his body and that he is running in heaven now, but the box is just too much for me. I'll bury it in our garden, but meanwhile I can't even look at it. It's so hard for me to understand how his warm, fluffy body was by my side yesterday and today all I have is that urn.
I feel so bad for not wanting to keep the ashes like other pet owners seem to do, I feel like I'm betraying him for not wanting the box inside the house.
Am I alone in this? I'm just so sad right now...
Thank you for reading