firelace
 Hello new friends. I have to talk about this. Our beautiful German Shepherd of 9 years took sick May 25 and we lost her on May 26th. She is put to rest in a beautiful memorial tribute graveside. But I cannot grieve because of this: When she took sick on memorial day weekend, My husband scheduled an appointment for the next day with her regular vet. I was worried so I found an emergency vet that would see her on the 25th. :-( My bad!!!! She would be alive if we wouldn't have taken her there. He talked us in to leaving her there for the night and she had never been away from us. My intuition said "DON'T" leave her here. And we did. He was supposed to call in the morning at 10:00 am and we ended up calling. She had died. My fault! She most likely died of a broken heart because of my decision to leave her there. Why I keep asking myself???? Why didn't I listen to my intuition? I had to ask for the blood test results to be sent and they were and the guy who we left her with was lacking in any kind of compassion. No answers except I left her there in her greatest time of need. :-( How can I ever forgive myself and grieve her death with this tremendous guilt. Please help me understand. I am so low right now. Have been for 2 weeks.

  
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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Vickye
Hi,
 I am so sorry for your loss. You should not blame yourself. You were trying soo hard to accomplish the opposite results. I have lost quite a few dogs and they can die rather quickly, especially large dogs. I have gone to great lengths also, to protect them but they died anyway. I have had three German Shepards. They are tough and probably the most intelligent breed. You can be sure she did not die of
a broken heart but of some very serious illness. You didn't mention her name or possible diagnosis?
All of us here are greiving the recent loss of a pet. I hope sharing will help you with the guilt and grief. It has helped me.

I had to leave my little one at her vets on a Sunday so it was essentially in emergency mode too. I never saw her again either. They called and said she passed. I hate to know she was alone. I wish I could have been with her. That was back on March 3rd. Even though months have passed I'm still very sad
and I hate Sundays.
Please accept my deepest sympathy,

Vicky (Cosette's mom)
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wayne
My Bandit died at the vets also . Dont blame yourself most likely she would have psssed anyway . You have no way of knowing that . If you wouldve waited she may have died anyway.
Guilt is a normal part of grief. Just don't beat yourself up .you done the best thing you thought to doat that time . Everyonetells me Bandit knew I was trying to help him. I do know exactly what your going through . I wanted to hold my
Baby when he took his last breath . It ddidn't work our that way . Maybe things work out the way it supposed too.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Were here to walk through this together and support each other.
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firelace
Please accept my deepest sympathy to both of you also. I am so very sorry as now I do not feel so alone. Our Star, Her name also died on a Sunday. She was the center of our lives, She was dizzy when I went to get her from her pen outside time and I thought this is it when it took her a while to get to the gate leaning her head sideways. We both then sat next to her on the floor as she was very weak and had a grey foam on her gums. I thought, we need to talk her through this because she may be passing away. Then she started rapidly drinking water as she had been for days after some strange breathing. The closest thing the vet could tell us was that she had an enlarged liver or tumor on the X-Ray. She was throwing up all her water and panting rapidly and that is when I called and found the emergency vet. :-( I am kind of getting some crazy thoughts like what did he do to her???? I feel nuts sometimes. I am glad to be here for you as you are for me. Again I am so sorry for both of your pain. It really hurts bad. Both of your babies names are great. I may be going crazy I am not sure. My imagination is telling me all kinds of things. I may have to see if her regular vet will go over the blood test results and tell us more to make some sense out of this. It makes no sense at all.
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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PeteyLover
Firelace, you should get a little closer for your self by investigating a little more what exactly happened to your baby. I think it will help. But you must also know you did what you could for her too. A few years ago I left my house for 1 hour maybe and hour and a half but not more than that. When I got home, I found one of my Aussies flat out on the floor. She was alive and conscience but wouldn't get up. I was stunned. I got down on the floor with her asked her what was wrong, checked her gums and proceeded to get a crate in the car to get her to a vet right away. I never thought the worst would happen. I was alone and couldn't sit with her on the drive, but it only took 10 minutes to be in front of the vets door. I had called from the car. Ran in with her and although thinking back now I believe I heard her last breathe and whimper when I about pulled thru the vets front door, the vets started CPR right away. She was gone. I felt like I was in a movie or bad dream. I was only gone from the house for a hour. Well in my shock I did not have the vets do an autopsy, so I'll never really know what happened to her. She was 9 years old. I played the "what if" game for months. What is if I hadn't gone to the store, what if I had gotten back sooner, what if I had moved a little faster getting her to the vet. I'm in tears typing this now, years later. It still haunts me and probably always will. I'm not sure what was wrong with your baby, but these kinds of things do happen. I will say the first thing I thought of when you mentioned your dogs head was tilted is that a stoke will do that to a dog. I am sorry for your loss. I've just recently lost my 16 yr old Jack Russell and am not coping at all, so I know how your feeling and your not alone.
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firelace
First PeteyLover I am so very sorry about your loss. 16 years is a long time to be with your friend. :-( I am saying the if only's all day every day. But finding this group is really going to help with one going through the same thing. I cannot make any sense out of her death at all yet and she has been gone 2 weeks. her bed and 2 favorite toys are in tact. Her den with her favorite pillow I bought at Petsmart for her when I brought her home is still in her den. Her feeding dishes are still in tact. I cannot change anything. Bless you and we will get through this together. Bless this group. I am also sorry about what you had to go through with your Aussie. So sad and tough.  
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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Baileys_mum_01
I am so sorry for your loss.  You did what you thought was right and got her to see a vet on the day she became sick.  You weren't to know what would happen.  Vets take care of sick animals, we feel we can trust them to do what is right for our babies.  It is normal to feel guilty and think I should have done this and I should have done that.  But this isn't your  fault. I question myself everyday about whether I did the right think or not in letting my baby go.  Maybe you should get your vet to look over the results.  I understand you want some answers.  This is a wonderful place for support because everyone here knows what you are going through.  Please don't feel you are alone. 
You are in my thoughts.
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firelace
Hello Baileys_mum_01. I do feel very guilty because I sensed something bad in the man we left her with and didn't follow my instinct. I cannot get past that. The so called vet wanted more money and that is why he insisted we leave her there. Now after the fact I know that. My gut said take her home and don't leave her here. I always listen to it. I didn't and she suffered in the hands of a monster. I read his reviews online after the fact. It was an emergency so I didn't know when we took her there how horrible he is. The guilt is over powering my life. I read what you said and thank you so much for your kind words. I keep going back to that moment when I didn't say "Were taking her Home". Over and over and over again. I cannot change it and I cannot deal with it. I am also so sorry for your loss. It hurts so bad. Bless you always.
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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heartsick

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby.

 

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

 

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

 

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -
LOVE NEVER DIES.

 

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

 

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

 

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

 

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.


Also your precious baby did not die of a broken heart.
The truth is that sadly German Shepherds are known to be fine one minute and
gone the next from cardiac arrest. It is not uncommon in this most noble of breeds.
I once did chest compressions and gave mouth to mouth on a friend's GS as he collapsed
while we were in the park and she was driving to the vet and I was in the backseat with him at the time.
He was not quite 10 years old.
Please do not blame yourself as you were trying to get him help sooner.
There is no way of even knowing if he would have survived until the next day.

 

You Are In My Thoughts.

 

Susan(heartsick)

 

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firelace
Thank you Susan.
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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