When you say you may never truly be happy again, I feel the exact same way. This is the first one I've lost that another will not due, at least not now. When I've lost my babies in the past I always had more home. This was my last little guy of a group of 4. This one has truly broken me. I'm ashamed to say, I'm handleing this worse than losing a human. I don't know why and I cannot stop the hurt. 19 days without my Petey. And I've got the guilt too. We could have fought to get him a little more time, but hubby couldn't see him suffer anymore. I want just 5 more minute with him to explain and tell him what I was telling him for 16 years, just how much I LOVE HIM. Uugghh, here I go again. Sorry.