Oh no.  How can this be?  Over and over and over again, all day and all night it comes to mind.  Oh no.  This can't be true.   But it is.  My boy is gone.   I love him so much. I will always love him and I will always miss him.  It's just so incredible to look around my apartment and not see his little form here and there.  All his favorite spots are now empty and my heart is very sad.   I can hardly come to terms with it.  My poor little boy.  He wanted nothing more than to be here with us.  But he was in pain and I had no way I could help him.  Mommy's sorry Purrfect.   Please forgive me, that I couldn't find a way to save you.   I would gladly give time from my own life if you could have stayed here.   Mommy loves you with all her heart and soul.
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I am so, so are exactly where I was four days ago.  I had grief beyond words, worse than I have felt even losing a dear human loved one.  I was so engulfed in sobs that my vet didn't want to let me leave her office.  I can only say to you that it will get better over time.  I have wiped away several tears just this morning at the office, and I am still sick to my stomach over putting my beloved Jack down, but I didn't think I would be able to make one day when I first did it. 

You have nothing to be forgiven for, but you will need to come to terms with that as well.  I think the guilt with euthanasia is something that comes along naturally. He was ill and in pain, and you did him a huge favor by not allowing him to go on.  I know nothing at this time will help you, but know that as the days go on, you will begin to feel better. 

Donna McQuade
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To both of you....
I had never known such devastation as when my Misty left. It is indescribable.
It's one year now (well it will be on the 5th) and you do learn how to get through. All I want is to be with her, but my body stays strong, and I keep eating my food, and it seems I have to stay here a little while yet. I am never completely happy any more. Though I am tremendously blessed and full of gratitude, for knowing Misty. She set me on the right course in my Heart -the most precious gift I could ever have been given.
I say most of me went with her....I don't know. I am so much better for having known her. So what's left behind, inside me is more lovely than ever it was, even though it may be a smaller "me".
Although I am visited by her -beautiful Soul, on many occasions, and made to feel joy, I miss her in every thing I do. I wait to be re-united, and live my life the best I can with the love she shows me.

It does get better. Though it never completely goes away. I accept. I don't cry every day. Her visits, with love and happiness, helped me dry my tears a lot. But now and again an acute pain will hit me -sometimes in the middle of the night when I finally go to bed, and can't feel her weight next to me in the bed....things like that. Yes, every few weeks I have a melt-down.

Yet only last night I woke sometime around dawn and could SMELL HER! I was so sleepy, but blessed her little heart and fell asleep again. This morning she's far away again!
There are comforts, but we cannot expect things to be the way they were. Things have changed, But there are comforts in any contact with their beautiful Souls.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer

Misty's life after death:
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I am so so sorry for both of you.  I feel this way myself everyday.  I look at Bailey's pictures and ask him to forgive me.  It is because WE have to make the decision that it is so painful.  Sometimes I feel at peace but then I will ask myself did I do the right thing or was it too soon.  From what the vet said Bailey could have gone at any time, in the middle of the night or when I was at work.  When I start to feel guilty and upset myself I try to be grateful that we were with him when he went to sleep and he knew how much we loved him.  I don't think the guilt will ever completely go away.  Please try not to blame yourself.  You did the kindest thing by ending his suffering and pain. 
Annie - I know how you feel when you say you look around your home at his favourite spots.  I do the same.  I had to take photos of these places because I may be moving house soon and I need to remember him here. 
I hope you will be able to find peace and realise that you did the kindest thing for him because you loved him so much.  We will never forget our little ones.  We keep them in our hearts.
My thoughts are with you x
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When you say you may never truly be happy again, I feel the exact same way. This is the first one I've lost that another will not due, at least not now. When I've lost my babies in the past I always had more home. This was my last little guy of a group of 4. This one has truly broken me. I'm ashamed to say, I'm handleing this worse than losing a human. I don't know why and I cannot stop the hurt. 19 days without my Petey. And I've got the guilt too. We could have fought to get him a little more time, but hubby couldn't see him suffer anymore. I want just 5 more minute with him to explain and tell him what I was telling him for 16 years, just how much I LOVE HIM.  Uugghh, here I go again. Sorry.

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