Alicia_krypto
I’m brand new to this site and I’m hopong it will make me feel better communicating with others just like me.

On Monday, 4/23/18, I had to put the love of my life to sleep. His name is Krypto. I rescued him 6 years ago on 4/1/12. That day changed my life forever. Krypto and I immediately had a strong connection. Honestly there is no other dog like him. He never barked or acted up. All he wanted to do was relax and rest by my side and cuddle. these last 6 years have meant so much to me. I thank the universe everyday for allowing me to have the best dog in the world for me. I know others say their dogs were the best, and it’s true! They were the best for them. And Krypto was the best for me. I can’t seem to stop crying. And I’m tired of hearing everyone tell me the same ol “he’s in a better place now blah blah blah” I totally understand that, it’s not not making my pain feel any better.

About a month ago krypto’s Arthritis suddenly got super bad. To the point where he was screaming for no reason. I was freaking out because he wouldn’t even let me touch him. All I wanted was to be able to hold him the way I used to and that just wasn’t a possibility anymore. So I took him to the vet the next morning and he told me that it’s arthritis. He said we can try to control his pain with medication. So I tried that for 2 weeks and it seemed to have helped. But after those 2 weeks his pain came back with vengeance. So I took him back again and they gave him a pain injection and more pain meds. I was leaving the vet crying because I just knew the next time I entered that office it would be to put my baby to sleep. That night krypto was so restless. He wouldn’t relax. Just panting and walking back and forth all night. I even googled it and supposedly when dogs get really bad arthritis, their body releases a hormone that tells them they are no longer at the top of the food chain and that they are now prey. That made me so sad because all I ever did was protect him, I would never allow him to be in danger but I guess animal instincts...

After that night, I tried other ways to help my baby outside of the vet’s suggestions. I started adding tumeric to his meals, coconut water, cbd oil, and even yes, I started giving him edibles. I found a product perfect for him. The edibles really helped him relax and even took away some of the pain. But then on Saturday, Krypto stopped wanting food. Even chicken! What dog doesn’t want chicken?? That’s when I knew he was over it. I couldn’t stop crying because my poor baby was falling apart right before my eyes and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

Over the weekend he was hiding in really weird places and suddenly started peeing all over the place. On Sunday I asked my mom to call the vet to make the final appt for my baby because I didn’t have the heart to do it myself. That night I slept with him on the floor ( he used to sleep with me on my bed but once his arthritis got bad, I couldn’t lift him up without pain anymore). When we woke up on Monday, Krypto walked right in front of me and used his head to lift my arm so I would hold him. I couldn’t believe it because that position hurt him. He got right in front of me and layed in front of me as if we were spooning. I could tell he was uncomfortable because he was making these grunting sounds, so I rubbed his head and said, while crying, “it’s ok papas, I appreciate you allowing me to hold you this way but don’t worry about me, I just want you to be comfortable.” But still he didn’t move. I slowly backed up some so he could find his comfortable position. Later on, I was finally able to get him to eat his edible so that way he would be relaxed. It really did help him.

When we were at the vet, I was able to hold my baby in my arms one last time. I absolutely wanted to be there when they gave him that injection because there was no way in hell that I would allow my baby to be scared with people he doesn’t know during his last moments. I wanted him to know that I was by his side until the very end. And I was! Before the injection was placed, I told Krypto “papas, thank you so much for coming into my life and for sharing yours with mine. Thank you for showing me what true unconditional love really feels like. Thank You for making every moment better. I’ll see you soon, waiting for me in paradise handsome. I love you so much krypto, more than anything else in this world.”

As the doctor injected him I held on tight to my handsome boy and repeated “I love you so much I love you so much I love you so much” with kisses in between. Maybe 5 seconds later the doctor said “he’s gone.” I lost it. “My baby! My baby! He’s gone!!” I screamed in that exam room.

And now when I come home, my house feels empty, just like my soul.

The following day Krypto came to me in a dream. He was laying on the floor, I’m assuming dead. But I was caressing him. Then suddenly his leg started to twitch. I kept caressing him and then he woke up and rolled over onto his legs!! He started wagging his tail and used his head to move my arms so I would hold him. I WAS IN SHOCK!!! I picked him up and yelled “you came back papas!! My baby is back my baby is back!!!” As I looked into the sky holding him pain free just the way how I used to. Then I woke up.

Even though his passing happened 2 days ago, I honestly can’t imagine my pain getting any better. I’m sure all of us can agree that we lost our soulmates.

I also posted 2 photos of my handsome boy doing what he loved (sleeping)

Please comment, I really would like to connect with others like me. Thank you for reading my post.
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Lamont
Krypto knows you love him, that is a fact. It's an incredible act of bravery to stay close to them at the very end. 
It's going to be really difficult at first, believe me, but you showed your love in the way it matters most and for that you have much to be grateful for.

Stick around, we'll be here.

L


Bertie's Daddy
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Alicia_krypto
Thank you Lamont. I think this site is helpful for people like us. I read a few of your posts and it’s clear how much you loved your cat. This pain is something I would never wish on my worse enemys. The love we have for our pets is something special
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Lamont
Alicia_krypto wrote:
Thank you Lamont. I think this site is helpful for people like us. I read a few of your posts and it’s clear how much you loved your cat. This pain is something I would never wish on my worse enemys. The love we have for our pets is something special


So true. 



😉
Bertie's Daddy
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Nellysmom
I'm so sorry about Krypto. The pain is so deep. I had my Nelly for 12 years and I lost her two weeks ago today. I replay her final moments in my head repeatedly. I wish she could have been home when she passed but I am grateful I could be with her. Your story of Krypto's final moments resonated with me. I told her repeatedly how much I loved her and kissed her over and over. I whispered "good girl Nelly" over and over as she took her last breaths.

The pain is still so fresh. The crying has decreased but I think about her constantly. The bonds we have with our pets are so unique and so deep-it is no wonder how deeply we grieve. It is nice to have this forum to connect with likeminded people. Those who haven't loved animal can't understand why this loss hurts so badly.
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Alicia_krypto
Nelly’s mom, Thank you.

I feel like a complete lunatic to some people because they have never owed a pet and I can tell it’s awkward for them to talk to me when they are trying to make me feel better about my loss.
I keep telling them how much my krypto meant to me and how hard I tried to do everything in my power to save him.
And to be honest, before I had krypto, I didn’t understand what it felt like to lose a pet. I never really could put myself
In other people’s situations. But with the loss of my baby, I don’t know if I could ever have another pet again. This pain is just to painful. Later down the road who knows, maybe I could try to have another pet, but in the back of my mind I say to myself “what’s the point on having another dog if he’s not krypto? I know there are so many animals in shelters that need good homes so who knows, maybe I’ll be strong enough to rescue another someday. Besides, krypto was a rescue.


Nellysmom wrote:
I'm so sorry about Krypto. The pain is so deep. I had my Nelly for 12 years and I lost her two weeks ago today. I replay her final moments in my head repeatedly. I wish she could have been home when she passed but I am grateful I could be with her. Your story of Krypto's final moments resonated with me. I told her repeatedly how much I loved her and kissed her over and over. I whispered "good girl Nelly" over and over as she took her last breaths.

The pain is still so fresh. The crying has decreased but I think about her constantly. The bonds we have with our pets are so unique and so deep-it is no wonder how deeply we grieve. It is nice to have this forum to connect with likeminded people. Those who haven't loved animal can't understand why this loss hurts so badly.
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chrispegv
I'm sorry to hear about Krypto. I lost my Bruno a week ago and I am devastated. Find myself looking up into the sky..talking to him and crying. I think people who never had pets dont realize the deep rooted love we have for them. At this point, I really don't want to hear it takes time or he is in a better place , even though it is true. He also suffered from bad arthritis, and at the end he couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. He wet himself in the kitchen. I know he didn't want to live like that so the vet came to the house. I have never in my life experienced so much pain and sadness. Sometimes that scenario keeps playing over and over. My heart breaks. I'm still trying to figure out does all the love in those 12 years equal the amount of sorrow I experienced in that 1 hour ???? Think I'm leaning toward the 12 years of love. I miss him so much. I wish I could be reassured that I will see him again when I die. I believe in faith and God that we will be reunited again.
Hope this helps
Chris
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Alicia_krypto
Chris,
I find myself looking at Krypto’s bed and crying. I even sleep with his blanket because it makes me feel closer to him. Krypto also could t control his pee towards the end. And just laying down would cause him to scream. I can’t get out of my head the day we took him to the vet. I cried so hard and loud I was probably scaring the other patients. After it was over I hated going to the front desk paying for that injection and them telling me about the “packages” they offer. It’s like they didn’t really care. The doctor was very sweet, kind and understanding but the girls at the front desk just shook me the wrong way

I know we will see our babies again when it’s our turn. I would give anything to hold him again in my arm and I’m sure you do too. They are now our little angels watching over us.

I’m praying for you
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chrispegv
Hi Alicia,
How are you doing? It's been 2 weeks to this day that my boy passed. I'm still devastated. I keep thinking that he is going to run down the driveway to greet me. It breaks my heart. Maybe through our conversation, Bruno and Krypto will meet and enjoy their beautiful youthful lives. I hope so. I guess we are healing minute by minute, day by day...i miss him so much as you with Krypto. And as far as the vets, they see this everyday, it's just a business for them, but these are our babies they should understand.
Prayers
Chris
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Alicia_krypto
Hi Chris,
The days seems to be getting better but at night is the most difficult. It’s been only 9 days since I have to give krypto back to the universe. Today I picked up Krypto’s ashes and his paw prints. As soon as I saw the box he was in I broke down. When I got home I opened it and saw the plastic zip lock bag he was in. I stared crying saying “I’m so sorry!!” I felt bad for having him in a ziplock bag. I know that’s how it’s suppose to be but I didn’t know, I just feel bad.

How are you holding up?
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Sooz
(((((Alicia))))), I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Krypto.  I don't even know if Luigi will be returned to me in a ziplock baggie or in some kind of bamboo box, as I sure didn't read anything I signed, just made it clear I wanted him cremated separately and returned to me.  

At least for me, the front desk woman came back to the room and did the paperwork-- a wise move on their part because I'm sure no one in the waiting area wanted to witness what happens to an owner at the end of their beloved dog's life and the trauma and raw grief of saying goodbye and then having to do paperwork --  

The office front desk woman said I didn't have to worry about paying for anything until I came back to pick him up.  We've known her for years at this veterinary practice, and I sure appreciated her kindness and her taking care of the business end of things in the privacy of the room where we said goodbye.  She was very compassionate and gave me a big hug and held me for a few seconds, knowing somehow that I needed it.  It's been a week since I said goodbye to Luigi, and yeah, I'm crying again.  I guess as long as I keep hydrated, I'll keep making tears, and believe me, they are flowing freely.  

I'm so sorry for us all.
Heaven is the place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.
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chrispegv
Hi Alicia,
I'm holding up as well as can be expected. I think about him often. I miss him so much. I have to keep reassuring myself that he was in pain and that I did the right thing. That day the vet came to my house to put Bruno asleep keeps replaying in my head. It's totally indescribable of the sorrow i went through watching the first shot then the next. Then I had to drive him in the back of my truck up to the crematorium. Don't know what else to say. Very sad. How are you doing? Hope you are feeling more comforted each day as time goes on. They will always be in our hearts.
Prayers
Chris
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Alicia_krypto
Your vet office seems very kind. The doctors at my vet are very kind as well. I just am not a fan of the girls at the front desk. Just young girls who don’t seem to care much.

My tears keep flowing as well. One moment I’m fine and hen the next, boom. Wave of tears missing my baby boy.
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Alicia_krypto
Chris, wow, I can only imagine what that must have been like for you. Having to drive Bruno to get cremated. I understand wanting to be in the comfort of your and Bruno’s home.I wanted to do that as well but our vet doesnt make house calls unfortunately.

I’m proud knowing that I was there for krypto until the very end, just like how I always promised him. When I rescued krypto, I later found out that he had been abused in the past. From that day forward, I always told him that no matter what I would do everything in my power to protect him and that I would be by his side till the very end. And I sure as hell was.

I watched the 2 injections as well. All I could do was hold my baby telling him repeatedly how much mommy loves him. God, just writing this puts tears to my eyes.
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