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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #76 
Thank you, just_lost! He was enormous! He never knew his size. He was such a scaredy cat of EVERYTHING! His paws were unbelievably massive but he would let us pet them and touch them whenever we wanted. We always had this funny game where i would touch his paw then he would move his paw on top. So i would move my hand on top and then he would go on top. He was so funny.

I miss his upside down pose so much. We realized he didn't do it so much in the last 6 months after looking at photos. Could be because our baby girl was screaming her head off or he was not feeling so great. Either way I loved putting my head into his belly and he would just put his paws on our head and squeeze. He never brought out his claws. Such a teddy bear. 

So happy Away and Brutus (Damn Cat) does this with you. Whenever they do it, it just makes me so happy to know they are content.

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #77 
I'm glad it helped a little, Jackie 😉

Bubby sounds like he was pretty funny too, and I can totally appreciate the list of names!  I think everybody has been Damn Cat at some point, and it's always when they're either doing something they shouldn't be or streaking through the house like idiots.  Midget clawing the loveseat..."You damn cat!"  Hailey running from one end of the house to the other like a lunatic..."You damn cat!"  And so it is with the other two.  Felix was only Damn Cat because I had a female years ago who looked just like him...she showed up on our doorstep one day.  My then-wife said that we could keep her if she was there the next day (not much of an animal person, but not mean to them.  I don't quite understand people like that, but I digress.)  I found that precious kitten on the doorstep the next morning and my wife christened her "Damn Cat".

I love the story behind Bubbles - that's great!  What would he do if he were in a box or under a table/chair?  Some of the things they do - and say! - are just too funny 😉
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #78 
I love when they run from one end of the house to the other. Bubby would chase Lola to one end, tails curled, flying all around...up the couch, on the windowsill and then it would be Lola's turn to chase him. She is much much faster and much more on point then he was. He was a bit of a clumsy one.

Your house sounds like a kitty magnet and love it! We have some neighborhood cats here but they don't hang out at our house. We lived in apartment on a farm for 6 years and we ended up feeding ferals. We named them Puma, Luma and Tuma. Luma had kittens but we could never catch them to get them spayed. Then we moved away. We also had 2 other ferals up at the apartment. White foot for obvious reasons (she was just out of her mind) and then Mufasa. He was a big cream color kitty. They would sit on top of our apartment roof and we could hear them running. When we left, the neighbors across the street started taking care of them since they had a barn.

I'll have to post the picture I have of Bubby with his head in the cup as a kitten. It was hilarious. If Bubby was under a table or chair or in a box he would give you a swat if you tried to mess with him. No claws or anything. That was his safe spot and we just knew not to mess with him. Of course I still was able to pet him as his mommy but we warned visitors to stay away if he went under there. 

Oh he was so talkative. Meowing all the time and the occasional "Mom you're annoying me" meow but that was the most anger we got out of him. He really was the chillest dude ever.

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #79 
Love the stories, Jackie!
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #80 
Thank you for listening! I know I can rant but everyone has been so great. It's nice to think about the good memories with him rather then our last few moments. 🙂
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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #81 
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_lost



This instantly reminded me of Away and Brutus.  Sometimes those knuckleheads are at the neighbors' when I pull up.  I'll roll my window down and call to Away in a high-pitched voice, "Away, Away, Away, Away, Away!"  He'll come trotting every time.  For Brutus I'll say, "C'mere, Brutus Brutus!" and that big lug is always on his way.  Away is always 'Away', but Brutus has a few names (Big Lug, Jazz, Damn Cat).  They know who we're talking to 😉

Away used to split his time between us and a house on the next street over...because they had food too (smh).  So we'd sometimes drive over there after work before going home.  He'd be on the porch...or the sidewalk...or under a vehicle.  We'd roll down the window and say, "Away, Away, Away!"  He'd give a few inquisitive meows before trotting over and hopping into the car for a short ride home.  Never seen a cat do that in my life.

So the story behind Away...he showed up in the garage on the morning of February 15 last year.  I had no idea where he'd come from, but he was a friendly critter.  I have a pic of that morning that I'll see about posting.  He let me pet him, and I wondered if he was hungry.  4 small cans of Gravy Lovers later...  Our cats are indoor/outdoor (which is good and bad), and they roam.  Away must've shown up on somebody's doorstep, so they started feeding him.  He was back and forth for several months.  Crazy critter.

My wife posted him on Facebook, but nobody recognized him.  Some folks a few houses down our street had recently moved, so our guess is that they either forgot him or left him.  I can't fathom forgetting your animals and it just breaks my heart to think that he was intentionally left behind.

I don't mean to hijack anyone's thread or minimize/tread upon anyone's grief.  Jackie's post just made me think of Away and Brutus, so I thought I'd share.  Hopefully it brings some smiles and good memories to you wonderful folks who are going through such a difficult time.

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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #82 
Omg thanks for sharing. You did put a smile on my face. I was having a bad day today and when I read about your cat jumping into a car. It made me laugh I never had cats but are sure learning about their adorable personalities.. jumping in the car. So funny. Made me think of thatcher my dog he had tons of toys but he always rather play with the items in my clean laundry basket. I always knew by his quick run into the bedroom and I said someone wants to play. Another great memory for me.
You did not minimize grief for me. You gave me just what I needed to laugh and smile.
So thanks so much
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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #83 
Love hearing about everyone’s cats! I never had a cat and my dog thatcher was my first pet. I’ve been around friends cats. But I never hear the stories. Wish I could take away your pain. Thanks for sharing your stories put a smile on my face.
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #84 
My dear little man,

Today is two weeks since you've been home. It feels like a year. Mommy keeps waking up at around 230am. Not sure what's going on with that. I miss your sweet cuddles to get me back to sleep.

Lola made it through her first Tuesday without and without us home all day. She was like a puppy when I came home and was following me everywhere. She definitely misses you bud. We all do so very very much. 

I still think I'm going to see you everywhere in the house. In the kitchen sneaking up behind me, walking down the hallway, peaking around the kitchen corner, sitting under the dining room table (aka don't touch me under here).

I think I'm starting to accept that you're not physically here anymore. I don't want to accept it. It doesn't seem real honestly. You were so young, not even 10 but so close. We're going to throw the best decade party for Lola and in your honor. 

We got a meowbox. I'm terrified to open it. Pretty sure your name will still be on it. 

I think about you all the time my baby boy. I hope you know there's not a second I don't think about you and miss you. My heart will never be the same and I'm understanding that. 

I keep looking back at your photos and just miss you so much. They make me laugh, they make me cry, but most of all they make me want to hug and kiss you all over like I used to. You are so special. 

I'm washing our sheets today and it was a struggle. Your scent is on those sheets. I know I have to though and it's like slowly ripping off a band-aid. It's gonna hurt.

I found some pics of our snuggles. You were such a cuddle bear. Always wanted to be around us. I miss them so much.

I hope you're ok my little man. Mommy misses you so so so much. 

Off to do some work...or at least try to. I'm just not mentally there.

I love you my little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #85 
Hi Baby Boy,

Today is two weeks since you had to leave us. It feels like a year. I'm still struggling with all of this and I'm trying as best as I can to accept. I know it will take time. You were my life. You made me the happiest Mommy ever.

We opened the Meowbox for Lola last night. It had your name still on it. I was upset and it was even harder because I knew this was the last box with your name on it. Still doesn't seem real. How did we get here? Lola was eh about the box. I think that's her missing you. It was a Paris theme though. They had a croissant toy, merlot and cheese toy, the tower toy, and a perfume bottle toy. I told Lola that you would not be impressed with the perfume bottle although you did smell like mine a lot because of all my hugs and kisses to you 😜

I gave Nerm some catnip yesterday to try and calm her anxiety. I think it helped some. She rolled around in it in the sun right in front of the back doors where you were laying your last few days. I gave her the tiger kickaroo too. Day by day she's coming around. 

I still can't believe you're not here. My sleep is so horrible. I guess I never really knew how much you helped me sleep. I miss you, bud so much.

I see your little face in pictures and you were so innocent and loving. You always gave me the look of complete and unconditional love even when I was annoying you. I miss our nose rubs and how you would gently lean your body into me while we were working. You were so gentle. And especially for a big guy. 

You are my prince. The king of the castle. I love you so so so so much Booty Bear. I wish I could just hold you and hug you and put my nose into the back of your neck and just smell your smell.

I was going through pictures and I found this one of you and Lola when you were so young. It was when Daddy told me you had your adult face. I remember being sad. I didn't want my Bubby to get older. 

Off to work and feed your hooman sister. We're trying cherries today. I hope you're ok. I hope one day you'll give me a sign.

I love you my little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #86 
Dear Bubby,

It's day 15 since you left us. It still doesn't seem real. I look for you all the time. Your sweet innocent face. You always gave me the look of unconditional love. The office is so quiet during the day now without you. Lola still hasn't felt comfortable enough to come in yet. One day i'll get her to when she's feeling better.

I find myself thinking about you every second. It's really hard to concentrate. I feel like I'm not getting anything done and when I try to do things all I can think about is you. Your sweet face. I miss your Bubby hugs so much. You are such my love bug. 

Sleeping is the worst. I just can't sleep. I don't know what's going on but since you left I haven't been able to. It's always interrupted and I'm just tossing and turning the whole night.

I wish I could hug you again. I wish I could lay my head on you. I wish I could lean my face into your neck and have you lean back on me. I wish I could give you chest rubs that you loved so much. I wish you would climb up me again. I wish for so many things. You were so trusting. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you bud. I tried so hard. I would have done anything. I just didn't want to risk you not making it and being alone in those final minutes. You've been through enough. You are Mommy's little hero and warrior. Always and forever.

I hope you're really ok and enjoying youth again. I can't wait to see you and hold you and never let you go. You are my rock. My stability. The most consistent and constant man in my life.

I love you my little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #87 
I'm sorry, Jackie.  Your notes to Milo are so heartwarming and yet heartbreaking :(

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #88 
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_lost
I'm sorry, Jackie.  Your notes to Milo are so heartwarming and yet heartbreaking :(



Hardest and most painful thing I have been through. Just trying to take it minute by minute, day by day...

I miss him so so much :(

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #89 
My dear Bubba,

It’s another caturday....and you’re not here. I miss you so much! The house is pretty quiet without you. Lola is pretty much in our bedroom a lot unless I try to get her to come out. You...you always wanted to be around.

I played with Loli a little bit this morning and gave her some nip. She’s having a hard time without you. Even though you picked on her a bunch you were still her protector as you were mine. Hopefully she’ll feel more comfortable. I keep trying to get her to come out more and more every day.

Still having a hard time comprehending you’re not here and won’t be here. I don’t know when it will finally get through. I know you won’t be here but I don’t know. It’s just hard to explain.

Another night of horrible sleep. I just didn’t realize how much you were my comfort. If I heard a weird noise I would always look to you to see if you perked up. If you did, I knew maybe I should investigate. If you didn’t, we were ok. I miss my protector.

I remembered another funny story of how you were so easy going. It was one night Daddy got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he came back in the bedroom to see where you were on the bed. He looked to your normal spot, at my feet, and said he didn’t see you. Then he looked back and all he could see was your little face and eyes peeking out from being under the covers by my feet. You were so content he said. You didn’t care as long as you were on your spot on the bed by my feet. I miss those days baby bear. Lola sleeps at my feet now but you know how tiny she is so I’m worried about crushing her. You...you couldn’t be crushed if I tried!

We’re going to get the baby pool set up for Av. It’s hot today. Mid 90s and humid. Yuck! You would be belly up like you just don’t care!

I hope you’re ok. There’s not a second I don’t think about your sweet face.

I miss you my little man.

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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JinglesMom

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Reply with quote  #90 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcunnane
My dear Bubba,

It’s another caturday....and you’re not here. I miss you so much! The house is pretty quiet without you. Lola is pretty much in our bedroom a lot unless I try to get her to come out. You...you always wanted to be around.

I played with Loli a little bit this morning and gave her some nip. She’s having a hard time without you. Even though you picked on her a bunch you were still her protector as you were mine. Hopefully she’ll feel more comfortable. I keep trying to get her to come out more and more every day.

Still having a hard time comprehending you’re not here and won’t be here. I don’t know when it will finally get through. I know you won’t be here but I don’t know. It’s just hard to explain.

Another night of horrible sleep. I just didn’t realize how much you were my comfort. If I heard a weird noise I would always look to you to see if you perked up. If you did, I knew maybe I should investigate. If you didn’t, we were ok. I miss my protector.

I remembered another funny story of how you were so easy going. It was one night Daddy got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he came back in the bedroom to see where you were on the bed. He looked to your normal spot, at my feet, and said he didn’t see you. Then he looked back and all he could see was your little face and eyes peeking out from being under the covers by my feet. You were so content he said. You didn’t care as long as you were on your spot on the bed by my feet. I miss those days baby bear. Lola sleeps at my feet now but you know how tiny she is so I’m worried about crushing her. You...you couldn’t be crushed if I tried!

We’re going to get the baby pool set up for Av. It’s hot today. Mid 90s and humid. Yuck! You would be belly up like you just don’t care!

I hope you’re ok. There’s not a second I don’t think about your sweet face.

I miss you my little man.

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜



Dear Jackie,
Your letters to your sweet boy always bring such tears to my eyes. Your special bond with him and your deep love for him shine right through every single one of your words. Your story about Bubby being so content and happy, and peeking out from under the covers by your feet was just so very precious. That is so how my Jingles was, as long as he was right next to me cuddled up, all was right with his world, and with mine. Your boy was a big, strong boy like my Jasper as I wrote before, weighing in at over 15 pounds and so very tall also, whereas your little Lola reminds me of my tiny girl Pootie Tang. I used to always say that my little PT was not as big as a minute, she was maybe about five pounds, and I used to call her my little pocket kitty, because she would most likely fit right into my pocket.

But oh my, she was brave, and had such an amazing spirit, and she was sweet as sweet could be. Jingles was about right in the middle size wise, leaning towards small, and in the last few months he had lost quite a bit of weight, which the doctors had attributed to his advanced age. I used to pick him up and think he was light as a feather, and every time I would address my concerns to his doctor, she would chalk it up to "little old man syndrome". I used to pore over articles on the internet trying to figure out why he was not putting on any weight, and my quest in life was to find a food that he liked. I tried so hard, and so did he, but I do believe that time is what took him away from me. I was so fortunate to have had him for seventeen years, but oh how I wanted more.

I know how hard it is to sleep without our little furry friends by our side. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night, and I will almost feel my Jingles right beside me. You know that twilight sleep, when you are not in a very deep sleep, but not quite awake yet, several times I have felt his presence so very strongly. I cannot actually see him, but I feel his beautiful spirit all around me, and when that happens, it is just so comforting, and brings such a sense of peace and calm to my broken heart. I just want so badly to hold him in my arms once again and look into those beautiful green eyes of his once more. I miss him so much, I miss all my little ones with every ounce of my being, and I know that you truly do understand.

I am hoping that with every passing day that your sweet Lola feels a bit better, and is able to accept her protective big brother not being with her as he used to. Thank goodness she has you, and if anyone can turn this around and help her to heal from this huge loss, you can. After Jasper crossed over, it took quite awhile for Jingles to actually feel like himself again, but ever so slowly, I would see subtle signs of improvement, and then one day, he just seemed to be feeling so much better, and that did my heart such good to see that.

Of course, it was never quite the same for him, as he and Jasper would play and wrestle as boys do, and since Jasper was so much bigger, Jingles would always be the one to call it quits first and retreat to the bedroom for a much needed nap. And Jingles loved little PT and would watch over her ever so sweetly, and whatever she wanted, she got. He adored her, and when she lost her battle with cancer, well he was just so sad and forlorn, and I was so worried. But after some time, he came out of his sorrow somewhat and accepted it, just as he had done with Jasper's absence. I know though that he could not have done it without me. It is just so sad for me not to have anyone left, and sometimes I think the emptiness of it all will never go away, and the despair is there, and it is so real. But I know I have to stay strong and face each day with the courage that my trio of angels showed me every single day.

I am hoping that one day soon that your sweet boy will send you an unmistakable and undeniable sign. Like I have said before, they always seem to have the perfect timing, but we do need to be open and aware, and willing and able to connect the dots. I do not believe that there are any coincidences in this life, everything happens for a reason, and whatever is meant to be will always find a way. One day when you least expect it, something wonderful and surreal may happen, and it will not be chalked up to coincidence, and you will know absolutely and positively who it was from, and then the sadness and the sorrow will be replaced by such an unbelievable joy and happiness, and you will look up to the Heavens with happy tears in your eyes, and you will be able to say with no doubt whatsover "Bubby, I know that was you." Thank you Jackie so much for your lovely posts and messages which always bring such comfort and healing to my heart, and I so wish the same for you. Hugs to you and your little Lola, Pamela




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Pamela Lynne Crawford
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