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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #61 
Thank you, Cecelia. I’m glad I was able to help you. I feel like I have so much left to say to Bubby since he was a young 10. 10! How is this real that I had to help him cross to the Rainbow Bridge so early for a kitty. I knew our time was going to be less because we found out about his kidney issues in 2014 but I thought maybe 12 or 13. Not 10.

Night time is pretty rough for me too. He would always lay at my feet and honestly I would sleep most nights without covers because I didn’t want to disturb him. He was so content. Mornings are hard too because he was my alarm clock. He would start around 4am and then the snooze button on and off til about 6. He was a funny one.

You sound a lot like me. Right before Bubby went to the hospital, I was sleeping on the floor next to him so he wasn’t alone. It was awful watching him like that. These babies have such a special place in our hearts.

Hope you’re hanging in there too. This has been the hardest thing I have experienced.

Hugs,
Jackie

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #62 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcunnane
Thank you, Cecelia. I’m glad I was able to help you. I feel like I have so much left to say to Bubby since he was a young 10. 10! How is this real that I had to help him cross to the Rainbow Bridge so early for a kitty. I knew our time was going to be less because we found out about his kidney issues in 2014 but I thought maybe 12 or 13. Not 10.

Night time is pretty rough for me too. He would always lay at my feet and honestly I would sleep most nights without covers because I didn’t want to disturb him. He was so content. Mornings are hard too because he was my alarm clock. He would start around 4am and then the snooze button on and off til about 6. He was a funny one.

You sound a lot like me. Right before Bubby went to the hospital, I was sleeping on the floor next to him so he wasn’t alone. It was awful watching him like that. These babies have such a special place in our hearts.

Hope you’re hanging in there too. This has been the hardest thing I have experienced.

Hugs,
Jackie
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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #63 
Jackie as I read your message you helped to remind me of thatcher being my alarm clock too and instead of tears it made me laugh. He always use to wake me up early because we use to go out early and meet his friends. After a few years that group sort of dwindled ( people moved and job times changed ) so I was sleeping a little later. So thus thatcher’s morning walk times changed. Anyway what made me laugh is if I would wake up first and he was still sleeping I’d move so quietly and top toe so he would not wake and I could maybe sleep a bit longer or sneak a cup of tea before walking him. And it never failed I’d go back to bed or put water on - and he’d wake thus making sure he’d get me up and out immediately. He was so funny just like a little kid. Thanks for helping me remember a good memory
Cecelia
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #64 
Good morning my dear Boo Bear,

It's another work week and you're not here. It's so quiet. So very quiet. I hate it. I hate missing seeing you walk into the office and sit next to my chair waiting to be picked up or just jump up on your own on whatever was in your way. You didn't care. You just wanted to get to me. 

I'm still having issues accepting you're not here anymore. I miss you so much. Please know that I'm trying to move forward for the family and as sure as you would want me to. Although I can laugh and smile sometimes, my heart is still very broken and shattered. The emptiness in my heart is huge. I guess I never really understood how much I depended on you and loved you. Obviously I love you with all my heart but I guess I didn't know the intensity. 

I woke up again at 230am and you weren't there. Ugh when will this get easier? You were my comfort and so much more. Mommy could use one of your good Bubby naps. They were the best and I always felt so refreshed afterwards.

I miss walking into the bedroom and wrapping my arms around your fluffy orange body and laying my head on your belly. You were such a love bug. And then of course when I would walk away you would clean my human smell off of you like how dare you touch me. You know you loved it as did I. 

I found some old photos of you and I. Wow they're old. I had dark hair and you were about 2. Seems like forever ago my baby boy. I still don't know how you, me, your sister and your Daddy all managed to live in that small 1 bedroom apartment for 6 years. 

Time to go get some work done or at least try. I'll be lighting a candle for you tonight on the Monday night candle ceremony. Always my brightest light.

I love you little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #65 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcunnane
Good morning my dear Boo Bear,

It's another work week and you're not here. It's so quiet. So very quiet. I hate it. I hate missing seeing you walk into the office and sit next to my chair waiting to be picked up or just jump up on your own on whatever was in your way. You didn't care. You just wanted to get to me. 

I'm still having issues accepting you're not here anymore. I miss you so much. Please know that I'm trying to move forward for the family and as sure as you would want me to. Although I can laugh and smile sometimes, my heart is still very broken and shattered. The emptiness in my heart is huge. I guess I never really understood how much I depended on you and loved you. Obviously I love you with all my heart but I guess I didn't know the intensity. 

I woke up again at 230am and you weren't there. Ugh when will this get easier? You were my comfort and so much more. Mommy could use one of your good Bubby naps. They were the best and I always felt so refreshed afterwards.

I miss walking into the bedroom and wrapping my arms around your fluffy orange body and laying my head on your belly. You were such a love bug. And then of course when I would walk away you would clean my human smell off of you like how dare you touch me. You know you loved it as did I. 

I found some old photos of you and I. Wow they're old. I had dark hair and you were about 2. Seems like forever ago my baby boy. I still don't know how you, me, your sister and your Daddy all managed to live in that small 1 bedroom apartment for 6 years. 

Time to go get some work done or at least try. I'll be lighting a candle for you tonight on the Monday night candle ceremony. Always my brightest light.

I love you little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜
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Ceceliadempsey3

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Reply with quote  #66 
Oh Jackie! The photos are adorable. What an amazing cat you have. I can so feel your pain You said you felt your heart was shattered. Mine too. I guess I did not realize that I depended on thatcher as much as I did. It will be a month this Wednesday!😩 Today is the first day I took a walk without crying. ( I guess that’s good). Though I ran into my neighbor before I went into my house and bust out crying. ( but the walk was over). Anyway I will try to put a smile on my face and face another day without him .. hang in there I will have to try that candlelight ceremony tonight.
All the best
Cecelia
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #67 
Dear Cecelia,

Thank you again. It brought back some great memories. He was such a cuddle bug if you couldn't tell. I forgot he used to drape around our next. With him being 15 pounds in his older years he wasn't really able to do that anymore. Not sure if I would him to either lol. 

I'm so sorry your heart is shattered like mine. I wish I knew the ending point but I'm not sure if there is. Bubby and Thatcher were our lives and our loves. I think it just shows how much we really do love them and will continue to love them even though they're physically not here. I commend you for still walking. I feel like I'm trying to put one foot forward and take care of our 9 month old daughter and Bubby's sister Lola. It's been a lot especially when I just want to crawl in a hole and come out when I'm ready. Unfortunately I can't do that.

I think being alone is the worst and I'm sure your walks are extremely hard. I would probably think too much and then the floodgates would just open and never shut. So glad to hear you were able to get through a walk without tears even if you burst into tears once in your house. One step at a time.

Thank you and hope you're hanging in there too.

The candlelight ceremony is really nice as everyone is very welcoming but I would have a box of tissues with you. The floodgates were wide open. It was very emotional. Not sure if I'll be doing it tonight but I will light a candle for my boy.

Hugs,
Jackie

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #68 
Good morning my little man,

It's another day you're not here and mommy's heart is not doing so well. I miss you terribly. Last night I couldn't sleep. I was having a lot of anxiety and felt like something was keeping me up. Literally. You weren't there as you normally were to comfort me. Your smell, your soft ginger fur and your big squishy belly. Oh how I miss you.

I'm worried about Lola, bud. She seemed real bummed yesterday. While Daddy was bathing Avery, I had a laser light party with Nerm on the bed. She was ripping around like she always does and I got her running up the headboard. She needs exercise since you aren't there to chase after her or for her to chase after you. You two were so cute when you would come stampeding down the hallway with your tails curled chasing after each other. Your bond was so strong even though you would torment her in a brotherly way. 

Please look over Nerm today baby boy. It's her first Tuesday without you. I know how long those days are without Mommy, Daddy or Avery home. I left TVs on for her so it wouldn't be so quiet. I also made her a fort/tent on the bed. 

My heart aches and the guilt is overwhelming. I hope we did the right thing. I know the doctors said they weren't aggressive with the IV fluids because you were anemic but it just makes me wonder what if. I know you were hurting but I'll never know if you could have been ok. I know all signs were pointing to that this was the final fight. You fought so hard for so long and I'm so grateful you gave us an extra 5 years after finding out your kidneys weren't great.

I found a feather yesterday while getting the mail...was that you? I'm always looking for signs so when you're ready sweetheart, so am I. I hope you're doing the "upside down pineapple cake" that James from here calls it. You loved doing that. Belly up no cares in the world. 

I think about you every second. And miss you every second. I miss you reaching up and pull my pants down when it was food time. You were such a goof. 

Time to go do some work, my Ty Ty. I can't wait for us to be together again.

I love you my little man.

XOXO Love, Mommy 💜

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Mycatisanastronaut

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Reply with quote  #69 
Hugs and hugs and more hugs
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Mycatisanastronaut

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Reply with quote  #70 
He looks just like my Georgey. Maybe they are now all playing together! I’d like to think they are. All of our babies
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #71 
Hugs to you too! I needed that. Just had a crying spell at work. Ugh! I hope they are playing together frolicking in fields with the birds chirping! Bubby loved to be social and watching the birdies outside.
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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #72 
Hi Booty Bear,

I heard this song while I'm sitting at work and it made me think about you BIG TIME! The tears were flowing. Just replace girl with boy 😜

Lionel Riche - You Are

Baby you'll find

There's only one love
Yours and mine
I've got so much love
And needing you so
My love for you
I'll never let go
I've got so much love
All I want is to hold you
Let me show how much I love you baby (show you)
I don't mind and I don't mind (loving you)
Girl I love you
There's no one above you
You are the sun
You are the rain
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again
Tell me it's true
I can't believe you do what you do
I've got so much love
And my love you'll see
We'll stay together, just you and me
I've got so much love
Only you (know me)
Tell me how to love you baby (show me)
I don't mind and I don't mind (tell me)
Girl, I love you
Always thinking of you
You are the sun
You are the rain
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again
I know you know the way I feel
And I need your love for always
'Cause when I'm with you
I fall in love
Again and again and again, baby.
You are the sun
You are the rain
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again
You are the sun
You are the rain, baby
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again
You are the sun
You are the rain
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again
You are the sun
You are the rain
That makes my life this foolish game
You need to know
I love you so
And I'd do it all again and again

Love you my little man. XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #73 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcunnane
So many names but yet they would come running every single time.


This instantly reminded me of Away and Brutus.  Sometimes those knuckleheads are at the neighbors' when I pull up.  I'll roll my window down and call to Away in a high-pitched voice, "Away, Away, Away, Away, Away!"  He'll come trotting every time.  For Brutus I'll say, "C'mere, Brutus Brutus!" and that big lug is always on his way.  Away is always 'Away', but Brutus has a few names (Big Lug, Jazz, Damn Cat).  They know who we're talking to 😉

Away used to split his time between us and a house on the next street over...because they had food too (smh).  So we'd sometimes drive over there after work before going home.  He'd be on the porch...or the sidewalk...or under a vehicle.  We'd roll down the window and say, "Away, Away, Away!"  He'd give a few inquisitive meows before trotting over and hopping into the car for a short ride home.  Never seen a cat do that in my life.

So the story behind Away...he showed up in the garage on the morning of February 15 last year.  I had no idea where he'd come from, but he was a friendly critter.  I have a pic of that morning that I'll see about posting.  He let me pet him, and I wondered if he was hungry.  4 small cans of Gravy Lovers later...  Our cats are indoor/outdoor (which is good and bad), and they roam.  Away must've shown up on somebody's doorstep, so they started feeding him.  He was back and forth for several months.  Crazy critter.

My wife posted him on Facebook, but nobody recognized him.  Some folks a few houses down our street had recently moved, so our guess is that they either forgot him or left him.  I can't fathom forgetting your animals and it just breaks my heart to think that he was intentionally left behind.

I don't mean to hijack anyone's thread or minimize/tread upon anyone's grief.  Jackie's post just made me think of Away and Brutus, so I thought I'd share.  Hopefully it brings some smiles and good memories to you wonderful folks who are going through such a difficult time.

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #74 
Bubby is such a beautiful, huge cat, Jackie!  That pic of him sprawled out is exactly what Away and Brutus do - it's so funny, and it tells me how completely relaxed and comfortable he was with you.  He knows exactly how very much you love him.
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #75 
Hi just_lost,

You're not hijacking at all! Please keep the stories coming. They truly help.

Oh I love the story of Away. He sounds like such a hoot. And seriously what kitty will hop in the car when you call for him. He must have been part dog. He looks so much like my Bubby and my Bubby had to be part dog or a dog in a another lifetime. He just acted like a silly goofy puppy.

I love Brutus' nickname...Damn Cat. Hilarious! 

Bubby had some many...Bubbles (this is how it originally starting. He would go into a trance staring at the carbonation from soda in cups. He would sway back and forth until we had to snap him out of it.), Bubby, Bubba, Buddha Bear, Mogwai, Tiger, Ty Ty, Booty Bear, Baby Boy, Doody Pants (pretty sure you can picture how he got this one), Handsome Pants, Handsome Man....the list just goes on but he would come to every one of those names. Truly such a sweet little man. But don't mess with him if he's in box, under a table or under a chair. He'll tell you who's boss then 😉

Thank you for sharing your story of Away. It was so funny.

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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