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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #361 
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Originally Posted by Jcunnane
I miss your headbutts.


I read your letters and am almost invariably reminded that the day is coming for our remaining four babies.  Not trying to steal your thunder...just reflecting on the reminder.  I don't know what I'd do without even one of the four remaining.  They're all so different with different personalities and mannerisms.  None are the same except when it comes to food 😉

Brutus likes to head-butt hands and faces, and rub against legs.  Hailey will raise her butt in the air at the slightest hint of getting her back scratched.  She'll walk over to me and turn around so I can scratch her tail.  Midget is usually at my feet; she was so content one day last week that her mouth was slightly open and her little lips twitched while she was napping.  That was too funny!  Away doesn't really do any of those things, but he'll nap with me and won't complain at all when any of us pick him up.
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #362 
Hi Bubs,

Happy Tuesday! I hope you're having a wonderful day! 

Nothing really big going on here. Another office day. I didn't cry on the way in. Win! I think I cried my tears for a week yesterday. It was just an emotional day. I miss you as my support. Pretty sure Lola slept next to me the whole night. She definitely likes to take up my spot. I remember you just laying wherever you could even if it was under my legs.

I still don't know how we got here. I mean I do but I don't. You were young. At least I thought you were young. Nana keeps saying you were really sick but I saw the happiest, most loving little dude I have ever met. It still doesn't seem fair. I don't think I will ever feel at peace about it. You were one special dude. I'm so grateful for the time we had. For what you shown me. For what you taught me. I'll be grateful forever for you my bud, my love. I love you my little Ty Ty. More than words can ever describe.

Mommy has some things to finish up here at the office. I just wanted to say hi! 

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Jcunnane

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Dear Bubba,

I wish I could say it's getting easier each day but it doesn't feel like that. I feel like the void is just growing. There's less tears but the amount I miss you and the hole in my heart keeps getting bigger. I miss your face so much. Your sweet, innocent face. Always so inquisitive. You were so calming. So patient...well not with food...but everything else you were just so easy going. You just wanted love and I loved giving you love. The day I chipped my tooth because I was kissing you still makes me giggle and just makes me realize how much I love you. You were the best. My best friend. My son. My rock.

I feel a little bit at a loss of words lately. I don't know if it's just me feeling numb or just I don't know. I think I'm just numb. 

I hope your rose grows big...like how you were...such a big presence. I love you so much dude man. So so much. I wish I was able to hold you right now. But I would never let you go.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Jenniferhiggs1221

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Reply with quote  #364 
Jcunnane..yes its been a few weeks since ive been on here..and for the same reason..ive been trying to heal myself and thought i could use a little time from the forum because i get so sad reading everyones stories and it takes me right back to the day i lost my sweet baby Reeses..which is 11 weeks today..still cant believe it and dont want to..sometimes i feel ok and some days i get so sad and miss him so much..then feel like im gonna start back over again with the grieving..i just miss h sooo much..he was my best friend
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #365 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferhiggs1221
Jcunnane..yes its been a few weeks since ive been on here..and for the same reason..ive been trying to heal myself and thought i could use a little time from the forum because i get so sad reading everyones stories and it takes me right back to the day i lost my sweet baby Reeses..which is 11 weeks today..still cant believe it and dont want to..sometimes i feel ok and some days i get so sad and miss him so much..then feel like im gonna start back over again with the grieving..i just miss h sooo much..he was my best friend


Hi Jennifer,

I totally get it. I'm having issues with that myself. It's just been really hard and reliving that day is even harder. I don't know if this ever gets easier. I hope it does. 

Sending you hugs!
Jackie

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #366 
Dear Bubba,

Today marks 11 weeks since you've been gone. It feels like eternity since I last held you. I have your sweet picture hanging on the wall of the office in front of my computer and I don't know how many times a day I look at it. You look so happy and content in it. It was from the apartment and you were laying on the bed. Head down, paws curled just looking at me ready for a nap. As I write this, the tears are flowing down my cheeks. It hasn't gotten easier bud. It's just harder. You were my rock. My support. I didn't even know how much you were until you were gone. I knew I loved you with all of my heart but I didn't know I loved you more then I thought I did. I saw a baby deer in the backyard today. Was that you saying hi? Hi my baby boy! Mommy misses you so so so much. 

I'm feeling a bit burned out...just exhausted. As you know life at home has been anything but ideal. It's taking a toll on me. I just want the drama to disappear. I want to be happy. I need to be happy for you, for Lola and for Avery. I'm having to make some tough decisions that I hope in the end will allow me to be happy. Maybe you can give me some shining light or a sign that I'm headed in the right direction.

It's been 11 weeks since you've been at peace. Free from pain. Free from fighting. I love you so much more for fighting so hard for me. You fought the good fight my baby boy. You fought hard. You were so strong and so brave. I know how scared you were every time but you came back to me except for that last time. I had to let you go. I had to let you be at peace. That was by far the hardest decision I ever had to make but I did it for you bud. I did it so you could be at peace. Please forgive me for making this choice. I knew you wouldn't let go. I knew you didn't want to go. But I couldn't let you suffer. I couldn't let you hurt anymore. You know I would have done anything to keep you here. The knot is back in my throat. It doesn't go away a lot. I will always feel guilty for making that decision but I know you wouldn't let go because you didn't want to leave me. I didn't want you to leave me either bud. I love you with all of my heart.

I hope you're having a wonderful bright and sunny day at the RB my dude.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #367 


Dear Jackie,

I just wanted to thank you for your incredible and poignant eloquence. In your letters to your boy "Bubby" (aka "Milo") you write words that completely capture so many of our thoughts, feelings and emotions here.

It is always a privilege to read your personal letters to your lost loved one. They are touching, moving, bittersweet and healing You are a true asset to this forum and an invaluable member.

Again, I can not thank you enough for sharing here and allowing us to experience your writing and remembrances. "Bubby" was so, so blessed to have such a loving, kind, sweet, gentle and adoring Mom like you.

My kindest & most appreciative regards,
James
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #368 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Jackie,

I just wanted to thank you for your incredible and poignant eloquence. In your letters to your boy "Bubby" (aka "Milo") you write words that completely capture so many of our thoughts, feelings and emotions here. It is always a privilege to read your personal letters to your lost loved one. They are touching, moving, bittersweet and healing You are a true asset to this forum and an invaluable member. Again, I can not thank you enough for sharing here and allowing us to experience your writing and remembrances. "Bubby" was so, so blessed to have such a loving, kind, sweet, gentle and adoring Mom like you.

My kindest & most appreciative regards,
James


Dear James,

Thank YOU! You have helped me beyond words can express and without your presence I'm not sure how I would be right now. I remember the first post you sent me was about Sir Winston Churchill and his love of orange kitties. I could barely read it. I couldn't even put the words together. Everything was just a blur and my mind couldn't wrap around any words or thoughts at that time except that my precious Bubby was gone. *Cue the tears*

Our orange boys! 🧡

HUGS!
Jackie

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #369 
Dear Baby Boy,

We made it through the work week. Another tough one but we made it. Mommy is soooooo tired. We had some rain on and off again today. You would have hated it. I always though it was funny that you were this big orange cat but rain scared you silly. Lola is a trooper. Although she goes downstairs still when it rains. My migraines come back when it rains so I'm trying to take it easy. 

How's it going at the RB? I bet it's beautiful there. I always try to picture what I think it's like and to me it's just perfect. Green grass, rainbows, blue skies, flowers (that aren't poisonous of course), birds chirping and the sun shining always. 

I still can't believe it's been 11 weeks since I held you. It seems so unreal. So like a dream. A really bad dream. You were so young. Too young for this. You were so strong though. I know I was lucky to get the last few years out of you. I look at pictures and see how much you aged in those past few years. At the time I couldn't see it though. Love is blind, right? Well I was completely blind baby boy. My love for you keeps growing. Knowing now how much you were to me and you still are. I look for you for strength. I try to remember how strong you were and when I think about that I think I can do that too. I have to do that too. I still need to make you proud. I know you're looking down. Although I wish you were looking up. Looking up at me with those sweet gold eyes. So innocent and loving. 

Lola is still here with me as I type this. She's on the window seat where you used to lay. Avery is napping. It was a Camp Nana Day. I think I might to rinse off. I've broke out in a rash. You know how that rash is. When I get stressed it flares up. I love you soooo sooo sooo much! I hope you can still feel my love.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜 

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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #370 
Hi JC,

I fully understand what your going through. I miss my big blond/orange baby boy as well so much. It's been nearly 7 weeks and it also seems very surreal to me, like a bad dream that doesn't stop. I look around and still can't believe he's not actually here anymore. You expressed some things in nearly the exact way I would, so I wanted to reply. I also never stopped to think that my boy was hitting his first senior cat year. to me he was always my 'baby boy', my little tiger. I miss him deeply as I know you miss your boy.

Ronnie, Talyn's Daddy https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TALYN001/Resident.htm

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #371 
Dear Bubby,

Another Caturday without my baby boy. It's so so hard. It's a beautiful day. You would love it. Breezy, no humidity, windows open. Feels like fall is right around the corner. It's going to be in the 80's next week. Jokes on us. 

I miss you terribly. I know I say that everyday but it's true. I was having a hard time sleeping last night. Tossing and turning. Just wasn't happening. Lola was cuddling as she usually does but that didn't do it either. So for some reason I just held onto your little lion toy, the one you used to carry around in your mouth. Well I feel right asleep. It felt like you were with me again. My two babies. Everything was ok. I got some sleep after that.

I hope you're having a great day today. I wish you were here and I was holding you. I love you so much it hurts.  I wish I could bring you back but I can't. I just look forward to the day I get to hug you again and be with you forever.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #372 
Dear Bubby,

It’s been a busy day here. I’m so sorry I’m just writing to you now. I hope you don’t think I forgot about you.

It’s been a big day...took Av to the grocery store for the first time. She did a wonderful job. Very intrigued by everything. By 40 mins she had enough though lol. She ate meatballs too! Big day!

I miss you so much. It’s was beautiful weather again. You would have loved it. Windows were open. Beautiful breeze. I miss seeing your fur in the wind. You loved the breeze. I wish I was able to hug you while you laid on the window bed. I loved wrapping my arms around you then you would turn upside down. I knew you were so happy. How can it be almost 12 weeks without my boy. My rock...my suppprt..:my comfort. I just miss you more and more everyday. I hope you know how much I love you. I still can’t belive you’re in a wood box next to the bed. It’s not right. How can so much love and so much life be in a small wood box. You were taken from me way too early. You were way too young. You still had so much love left to give. You have so much love you still wanted to receive. I love you so much my handsome pants. My heart isn’t right without you. I feel like a shell of myself. I know I need to be here for Avery and Lola but seriously it’s so hard. You were it, dude. You were it. My sweetest surprise. The best surprise.

I’m going to go lay with Lola now. She likes this time at night. Avery’s in bed and it’s just her and I. I wish you were able to experience more of this time. You passed right after Av went into her crib and slept through the night. I wish. I just wish for you. I love you sweetheart.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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just_lost

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Reply with quote  #373 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcunnane
Dear Bubby,

It’s been a busy day here. I’m so sorry I’m just writing to you now. I hope you don’t think I forgot about you.

It’s been a big day...took Av to the grocery store for the first time. She did a wonderful job. Very intrigued by everything. By 40 mins she had enough though lol. She ate meatballs too! Big day!

I miss you so much. It’s was beautiful weather again. You would have loved it. Windows were open. Beautiful breeze. I miss seeing your fur in the wind. You loved the breeze. I wish I was able to hug you while you laid on the window bed. I loved wrapping my arms around you then you would turn upside down. I knew you were so happy. How can it be almost 12 weeks without my boy. My rock...my suppprt..:my comfort. I just miss you more and more everyday. I hope you know how much I love you. I still can’t belive you’re in a wood box next to the bed. It’s not right. How can so much love and so much life be in a small wood box. You were taken from me way too early. You were way too young. You still had so much love left to give. You have so much love you still wanted to receive. I love you so much my handsome pants. My heart isn’t right without you. I feel like a shell of myself. I know I need to be here for Avery and Lola but seriously it’s so hard. You were it, dude. You were it. My sweetest surprise. The best surprise.

I’m going to go lay with Lola now. She likes this time at night. Avery’s in bed and it’s just her and I. I wish you were able to experience more of this time. You passed right after Av went into her crib and slept through the night. I wish. I just wish for you. I love you sweetheart.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜


Don't stop posting your letters, Jackie - they're awesome and they show what a wonderful person you are.  We read them.  I love 'em.
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #374 
Dear Bubby,

Today has been a hard and challenging day. Today I decided it was time to go ahead and file for divorce from your Daddy. It was you Bubba that made me realize that it wasn't the marriage I wanted. That you were more support and a rock than Daddy was to Mommy. Your passing was eye-opening to this all. While I know it's not what you wanted, I think you knew deep down it was coming. So I thank you Bubs. I thank you for showing me what I truly deserve. Unconditional love like you gave me. You loved me with all of your heart. You gave me a gift even though you weren't here anymore. The single deer came this morning. It was like you were showing me support to sign my name on the agreement and send it. I still can't believe it's happening but I need to do what's in the best interest of your sisters. I need to protect them. I hope in the days going forward you can send me some strength. I never expected to be here. But here we are.

I'm a little short on words today but I love you with all of my heart and am so grateful you chose me to be your Mommy. I wish we had more time. I wish we were together forever. I just want you to know that I will never stop loving you.

I miss you my little man...

XOXO, Love Mommy 💜

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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #375 


Dear Jackie,

I am so sorry to read of your news. But on a positive note, I am left in awe of how our lost pets can impact our lives so greatly when they were present in them, and also AFTER they have departed. What a testament to the enduring power of their love, loyalty and devotion to each of us. 

Kind regards,
James
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