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Peter_S

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Reply with quote  #16 
That was smart of you to connect with others right away, I've isolated myself for too long and need  to be with others where I don't have to explain myself. You're right about not getting over it, I think it's more that we learn to live with it and the pain we feel makes sure we never forget those beautiful times with these precious angels who so enriched our lives. I'm sorry for the loss of Mollie and I'm happy for you that Maggie is still with you - a piece of useless trivia here: at one point of time my folks had two Cairn terriers Molly and Maggie.

We still have Elvis, he's eight soon to be nine and a wonderful pooch who misses his big brother - and I second your idea for the beer, where we can raise our glasses and call out their names. This cuts deep and it hurts sometimes it hurts just to breathe and although there is no remedy except maybe in knowing the passing of time makes it less brutal, it's still good to know I'm not alone and that there are other people who "get it" who understand, it helps.

Peter

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pryiasmom

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Reply with quote  #17 
It really helps to hear from everyone on this site.  You all loved your fur babies so much.  One week ago today I was spending my last day with my Pryia.  I knew what was to come on Monday...or I thought I did.  I held her broken and tired body against me for most of the day.  Now I wish I could have just one more day...hour...minute...I miss her so much.  Last Sunday was very sunny, as it is today, and I wonder if she's trying to tell me that her body is now healed and basking in the sun in kitty heaven.  I hope so.  I miss her so much.  I'll go pick up her ashes tomorrow and do my best to trudge forward.  Sending you all positive energy today.
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partangel

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Reply with quote  #18 
I think having to make the decision to end a life is the most unfair we could ever endure! It has only been 2 days since I had to make that gut-wrenching decision for my precious boy, Goliath. I was there when he was born, I helped deliver him! I witnessed him opening his eyes for the first time, his first steps, being weaned from his mama. Which is when our deep bond began. I rocked him every day, he sat with me every night and shared my popcorn, eating it faster than I could. I celebrated every birthday, he received Christmas gifts and had his own stocking! He slept with me until he could no longer walk up and down the steps to my bed. I know his health had deteriorated over the past year or two but I was in complete denial. Although I did take him to the vets numerous times in an attempt to give him a better quality of life. He had suddenly gained weight, reaching a hefty 34 pounds! He was a Chihuahua with his mom being 5 pounds and his dad only 9 pounds! I didn't care...I loved him regardless, he was my teddy bear. The vet kept telling me to try another diet, exercise him, keep pushing. I did and witnessed him using every ounce of his being to walk a few more steps to reach me! Now to find out that that probably did more harm than good. I took him to the vet on Monday last week after noticing a huge mass on his leg. They treated him for a bacterial infection but he did not get better. By Friday morning he was struggling so hard just to breathe. He could barely stand but had been collapsing for months now. Something the vet attributed to his weight. His abdomen was bulging, they tested him for Cushing's which came back negative. He vomited daily, they said it was from overeating or eating too fast. Yet I now learn all of these are symptoms of Congestive heart failure, which is what he was finally diagnosed with on Friday when it was too late. There was so much fluid in his lungs that he was literally suffocating to death, slow and agonizing. On top of that, they finally diagnosed him with diabetes, something else I had questioned and they disregarded. He was also anemic, very pale, all of this on top of the infection and an enlarged heart. I had trusted these "experts." Assumed they knew best. I only wish I could do it over again. I would have taken him to a dozen vets if I had known. I was left with the decision of putting him out of his pain or attempting to drive him to another city, leaving him with strangers overnight for 24-hour care, with the expectation of him probably not surviving anyway. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him! I wanted to take him home but couldn't unless I wanted to sit by and watch him suffer to death. I am still second-guessing myself though. What if he could have survived? I know it would have been expensive but I really don't care if I could have saved him. My poor boy couldn't even give me a kiss because he was using every ounce of energy just to breathe, even with the help of oxygen. I am so devastated that I cannot imagine suffering one more day. I am angry on top of the devastation. I completely understand what you are going through. I never want to feel this pain again, ever. He was my child...the baby. Life is so unfair! 
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Missing my baby boy Goliath....A little heartbeat by my feet
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Canotgrieve

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Reply with quote  #19 
It is so sad to hear all of these heart wrenching stories. I can't believe it has already been two months since I had to put my precious baby Christopher down. At first I was in shock and for days I couldn't even cry. What had I done. Two doctors saw him the week before and neither felt the mass in his abdomen. Then the night we took him in because he had a hard time breathing we were told it was best to put him down that night. We took him home to try to deal with this difficult decision. He just wanted to hide from us. No longer eating or drinking. Struggling to breath. We could have been selfish and prolonged his suffering. But we thought of him first. He did not deserve this. He was such a good boy. That day was a nightmare. Seeing the vet take the life of our baby. We have his ashes. The note that came with it said " The last act of love" That was so hard for me I just broke down and cried. We miss him every day. I still cry for him. Our hearts are broken 💔. We loved him so much. Life is not the same without him. A piece of our hearts is missing that can never be filled. We still have his things around the house. I can't bear to put them away. That will make it too final for me.
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partangel

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Posts: 22
Reply with quote  #20 
It is nice to hear that there are still vets out there that actually care! I haven't received any sympathy, no apologies, no how are you? Nothing. They have called me three times only to inform me that I accidentally wrote the wrong month on the check I wrote to them to kill my boy and they need another one ASAP. It is sickening. Which makes me wonder again if I made the wrong choice. I just want my Goliath back! My Morkie was his big brother and his best friend. Always taking care of him. He just looks at me with those big, sad eyes and my heart grieves. I cannot even wash Goliath's favorite spot to lay! I just want to lay there and pretend he is still there, giving me a few more sloppy kisses. None of our babies deserve this. I cannot wait til the day arrives when he meets me at heaven's gates. (((hugs))))
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Missing my baby boy Goliath....A little heartbeat by my feet
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Canotgrieve

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Posts: 78
Reply with quote  #21 
We actually questioned our vets decision. She examined him the week before. We ended up taking him to the ER the next weekend. The doctor there just said he needed fluids that he was dehydrated. She put him in the hospital for a day for fluids. A week later we took him back to his vet who suddenly felt something wrong in his abdomen. After ultrasound , she said he had a large mass in his abdomen and fluid in his chest cavity. Both doctors a week before did not feel the mass. She wanted to put him down that night. Said he wouldn't benefit from treatment. We took him home that night. The next day we put him down because we didn't want him to suffer. She said he would get worse everyday. We were devastated. I blamed her at first for forcing us to make that decision. My husband said we needed to trust her. They did send us a card. And his paw prints and piece of fur. She did text me a few times. We did get him cremated and have his ashes in a little brown box with his name in gold on it. We thought what we did was the best for him. But we questioned ourselves.
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