Two years ago, yet you have never left my heart. You are as close to me now in spirit as when you were physically here. I remember how you used to love to sit on the windowsill when it snowed, you seemed almost mesmerized by the snowflakes as they gently fell, then after awhile, you would close those beautiful green eyes of yours, and fall sound asleep. I used to wonder what you were dreaming about, you always looked so sweet and peaceful. I could never have imagined back then that you would not be here with me today. I know now that you were only on loan to me for such a short time, perhaps the angels needed you up there, you have such a sweet and gentle soul, perhaps you were here to teach me about a very special love that knows no bounds ... no bounds. All I know is, no matter how long you were here with me, it could never be long enough.
I would have traded places with you in a heartbeat, I would have taken on your illness and pain, I would have gone with you if only I could have, we would have crossed that bridge together ... but I suppose in a way we did, because I know that as my hold on you became lighter, and my voice became softer, and your dear little heartbeat slowed, and that radiant light ahead of you became brighter, you knew I was still right there with you, holding you in my arms, and as my tears fell and your eyes closed, I knew that you had found your rainbow ... and then my world turned very dark and cold. I did not think I would ever feel the warmth again, I did not think that I would ever see the light again, but you sent me so many signs, even through the deepest throes of my grief, I could not overlook those signs, there are no coincidences, those little signs meant the world to me, and helped to bring all those broken pieces of my heart back together again.
The warm sunbeam always shining down upon the place you used to lay, the delicate blossom wafting down upon my face, that single perfect pawprint in the snow, such wonderful and healing little heart tugs that could only have been sent from you. They say that time is the great healer, but I miss you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. Hold onto all the sweet memories my sweet boy, hold onto all the love, and know that every day that passes by brings me one day closer to you. I am so happy we found each other, even if only for a little while. My life is forever changed because of you, and I refuse to ever let the sadness and pain of our separation overshadow the beautiful joy, light, and love you brought into my world. Thank you for finding me, thank you for loving me ... I am so happy you chose me.
Pamela Lynne Crawford