LisaAndy Show full post »
Thanks Lisa I wish wee could all meet in groups in person x its a horrendous feeling x I to have another dog candy but my boy gizmo was different ge was a barker and boss of the house x I had to go see a spiritualist and she told me my boy had no longer crossed over till he came home x my mum is a spiritualist and ac started a devolpment course to develop what I have myself in spiritual world I want to help people like us who miss our baby's so much it hurts xx Andy is so beautiful and looking at the photo of you and him cuddling made me think of how a use to cuddle up to my son too xxx plz keep well Lisa and am truelly thinking of you x big hugs and keep on here wee all understand your pain xxxxx
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Hi, I just read all your posts about losing your beloved dog Andy. We made the horrible decision to have our Bichon Spike a few weeks after his 178th birthday in May 2016. I was a basket case for months but I had very supportive friends and family who were very understanding and supportive. I will never get over losing Spike as he was my heart dog and I was his person. He developed some arthritis at some point and dementia in his last few years. At first it wasn't so bad as he had as much good times as bad but that eventually became a little good times and mostly bad.

He and I spent so much time together in his first 10 years. I was working but had some physical issues with pain etc. He was beside me comforting me when I had to stay home and right beside me all the time. He sat on the bathroom counter every morning while I got ready for work and greeted me when I got home with kisses and wanting cuddles. I had 5 surgeries over those years and he never left my side while I was recovering. He traveled with us for my mom's funeral and comforted us all.

Needless to say I was a basket case when we had to make that horrible decision for euthanasia. My hubby was sure I would have a heart attack or stroke. We have another younger dog, a Chi who was my mother-in-law's dog. She had asked us if we would take him when she was gone. Spike was so excited when we brought Mikey home. Tried for a couple years to get Mikey to play but Mikey had never been around other dogs and didn't know how. I came to resent Mikey because of the way he made Spike feel even though I understood why he behaved that way. Mikey was more hubby's dog.

After Spike was gone I didn't even want to be around Mikey but could see he was hurting. We had let him smell Spike's body when we brought him so he would understand why Spike was no longer there. We finally became pals after a few months.

I barely slept the first few months after Spike was gone even though I was exhausted because I had been up with him for 3 hours every night as he was so anxious and wanted to go out and just paced inside as well.

Anyway, I was up several times a night for the first few months he was gone. I'd cry until I could hardly breathe and slept with one of his blankies. It slowly got better but I still can't talk or write about him without crying. In late December we rescued a shelter dog, a Bichon/Havanese. In Spike's last few months I had told Spike that we would always love and remember him and one way we would do that was to rescue another dog in memory of the love he and companionship he had given us.

Anyway, as you have found out, not every pet owner is a pet parent. And while therapists and counselors might offer anxiety drugs or anti depressants, many of them also offer "talk" therapy which can be helpful for some people. I've found it helps me to just not expect compassion or understanding from friends, family or other pet owners -- if it comes, that's wonderful. If not, if we're not expecting it we usually are not as disappointed when we don't get the reaction we'd like to.

I found a lot of support here from reading responses to many people. If you're on Facebook, there is a group called "Loss of a pet" which offers a lot of support and compassion. The administrators of the group have lost beloved pets as well.

One more thing. I understand your frustration when your vet said there wasn't anything more to do for your dog. If multiple enemas are given but there's little or no poop resulting and there are large growths are blocking the rectal area, giving him more of the same would cause him much discomfort and more pain. Short of removing the growths they would have nothing left to offer. I experienced something similar after delivering my boys who came fairly quickly and left me with some large tears. I had repair surgery and it left the rectum so tight at first that I literally had to go back and be stretched to be able to poop. I put it off seeing the doctor at first because I didn't want anyone touching or doing an exam. I was on stool softeners and thought I should have an enema. When I talked to the nurse she told me that was not a good idea as it could cause significant new tears and a lot of discomfort as the anus was so tight that I might need help to pass anything. Not trying to gross you out or over-share but I was miserable until the doc stretched me a bit. Even then every BM freaked me out as I was desperate to go and very uncomfortable but also terrified that I'd rip it again. I imagine that was probably why the vets didn't want Andy to have more enemas.

Be very gentle with yourself as you learn how to live without your beloved Andy. He was a gorgeous guy!
I'm also very happy that your other pup is trying to fill the emptiness of losing Andy and giving you comfort.

Spike' s Mom
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Dear Lisa, I love how you rescued Andy and gave him so much love. It's so hard I know though when the time comes to say good bye but you loved him enough not to let him suffer. Please try and look after yourself. You know that's what Andy would want. It is important though to allow yourself to grieve at the same time.
I am thinking of you and hoping you find the strength to get through this horrible tIme.
Hugs to you!
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CK, thank you so much for your nice words. Yes I've been going over everything again lately, what happened at the end. A week before he died he was perfectly fine. It came on so quickly. It didn't seem to be his time, he didn't seem like an old dog to me.  I was the one who had spent his last day with him and I could tell he was suffering and I could not see another night with him suffering like that. He kept trying to get comfortable, he couldn't sleep - he kept changing his position, then getting up and going outside to try to go to the bathroom and he couldn't. I had to do it that day because it was wrong to make him suffer like that. I guess it upsets me that he could not be helped. I wish there had been some medical procedure to relieve his pain and let him live a bit longer. It upsets me still to no end.
Everything is so different now. Sometimes I think it wish he was just sitting there watching me wash the dishes or following me around and the realization that I will never see him again makes me cry. I really loved that funny looking little dog.  Thank you again for your support and kind words

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Spike's mom, I never read your post here until now. It is a very helpful post and I apologize for not replying.

How is the new dog doing? I am thinking of adopting a bichon in fact myself for my next dog. I want something cuddly, like how Andy was. I like the idea of rescue but its hard to find a small non-shedding dog in the Pound, I lucked out getting Andy. And i always felt like he was so appreciative and grateful to be free and to be treated nicely. I got the other poodle from a breeder, and he never experienced a bad life, so he seems like he is a little spoiled and high strung and neurotic. I don't know but I'd like to find a dog that is maybe older and no one wants it. But I don't know if the time is right now. I still cry all the time. Lately I've been avoiding sleeping my bed, Ive been sleeping downstairs on the sofa, as its too sad to sleep alone in that bed. It makes me sad my dog isnt there.

Oh and it turns out that the friend I mentioned earlier in this thread, that I was mad out for forgetting what happened to my dog-- was going through his own cancer diagnosis and treatment, which he chose to keep private, so he had a lot on his mind! He told me after his surgery and all was well that he was going through that. Sometimes we can judge a person and not have the whole story. Now I feel bad for getting upset with him for not calling to see how I was. Now it makes sense! I don't like when people keep illness from family and friends for that reason. My parents pulled this a few times- had surgeries or major health crisis and didnt want us to worry so didn't tell us until after!! I'm not a fan!

spike's mom this was a good time for me to read your post as I keep going over what more could have been done for him, but you are right the enemas would have really been painful for him! I need to accept there truly was nothing that could be done for him. he had a lot of health issues compared to the dog I bought from a reputable breeder. He probably came from a backyard breeder or puppy mill, he had the heart murmur and enlarged heart which would most likely devolop congestive heart failure, he also had bad spinal disc problem and threw his back out twice which was simply awful, and then he got these growths, so that is a lot of health issues. My 14 year old other poodle has no health issues as the breeder only breeds healthy dogs and did genetic testing on the parents.

Thank you for your posts ..this came at a good time since I've been really upset last few days again

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Oh, m'gosh. What a lovely little cutie pie Andy was. It is so very heartbreaking to lose a furry family member. And it can be frustrating to question why some ailments cannot be adequately treated. 

You said you got him when he was about four. My Lara (who passed on 1/02/08) was a rescue cat. When she adopted me, they estimated her age to be about two. So you don't really know Andy's early history and what might have been predestined health-wise if he was not adequately nourished, groomed, taken care of, etc., in his early years. I often wonder about Lara's history and if her demise at 13 (if that was, in fact, her actual age) was a result of perhaps a not so healthy start. We will never know.

I work from my home as well. And my fur ball was always by my side too. We always compromised on what spot on my desk was hers and where I could actually function without a a cheek rubbing up against my pen when I wrote, or paw bopping my keyboard when I typed. This past week, I worked on my couch because it was too painful to sit at my desk without her presence. It is such a painful void.

Andy looked like such a happy little guy. You provided him with ten lovely years. They are not with us long enough. It's frustrating to think that remedies for every ailment do not exist. On the other hand, sometimes the risk of an actual procedure might outweigh its benefit. It's an individual case basis, and there is no one answer for every diagnosis. I know you did all that you could for your little angel. I really hope you can find peace in that.

Take care.

P.S. I loved all of the pictures you posted. I'll leave you with one of mine. This was Lara at work ... :( 

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Thank you for your post. I stopped visiting this forum after awhile because I realized it made me too sad ,reading about everyone's pain I could not get past my own.
I adopted a little 8 year old toy poodle a female. At first I was not bonding with her so much but now I am. She has helped me a lot, because she fills the void. She sleeps with me and so I don't need the stuff animals anymore. Also she sits in his spot on the sofa next to me! It was so empty here without him and she has helped me a lot.
Unfortunately after i adopted her I found out she has a lot of health issues because apparently she had heartworms for many years and they destroyed her heart and lungs. I am working closely with the vet to help her. Its been really expensive, I'm out close to $2000 US in less than 3 months I have owned her! I am glad I got her because I am taking good care of her and giving her a good quality of life.
the damage to her pulmonary artery is permanent though so she is on severl medications. She gets out of breath very easily, just running up a flight of stairs. Anyway looks like she has had many puppies and was used in a breeding operation. I guess they dumped her when she could not give birth anymore, probably because she could not breathe well.
Anyway your kitty looks adorable! It is so so nice that you took the time to read about my Andy. I think about him still every single day, I miss him terribly and I still cry from time to time. It just was not fair what happened to him, I guess. I had a dream that he was just lost and not dead. If it was a sign from the heavens, it was not a good sign because he was dirty and skinny in my dream when I found him.
Well all the best to you and I totally appreciate your reply!


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