Opiebsmama
Its been 4 days since I had to say goodbye to you my sweet grateful baby boy. The pain is horrible, like someone is sitting on you my chest and my heart. I miss you so much and I know you know how much because I know in my heart you miss me that much too.  

You loved me so unconditionally. All you ever wanted was for me to love you every minute of every day. I am so sorry for all the times I didnt pick you because I was doing something else, or I was holding your brother or little sister. I am so sorry for ever taking  for granted the time we had together. I had no idea how much loosing you could hurt. 

As another sunset draws near, it remains me of time of the day I had to say goodbye to you and its painful. I hate that I have to live another day without you. without hearing your bark when I walk in the door pulling you up on the coach because you raise your little paw as if to say "come on mama pick me up please". What I wouldn't give to see you do that one more time my baby. 

The sunset last night was beautiful and something tells me that might have been you telling me "its really pretty up here mama please dont cry". But I worry if you are lonely, or scared again. Daddy told me that all doggies go to heaven where there is no fear, or pain, and you can run and jump and lay in the sun, and maybe you even to get to lay in the sun on my lap in your own mind. I hope he is right. 

Chopper has been sitting on my lap the last two days, sometimes I feel bad because that is your spot but I think he is beginning to miss you too. Daddy is pretty strong but you know he loved you to death. He is the one that picked you:). If you could send him a sign that you are doing okay that would be good too.

I hope you know how much you met to me. How much I loved you and I am so blessed knowing that I got to carry you in my arms the day we brought you home from the shelter and I got to hold you in my arms the day you left us. Daddy knew that is the place you wanted to be when you had to say goodbye; in your mama's arms.

Your are deep in my soul my baby. I just had no idea how deep until I lost you. I will miss you everyday and I cant wait to see you again. I will come get you at the rainbow bridge and I know you will be waiting with your floppy ears and paws too big for your little chunk self.  

I might ask these people in the rainbow bridge for some help in the meantime, so I can stop crying, but writing this out helps. 

In my heart always my sweet baby boy Opie B. 

Love, 

Your mama

opieb.jpg  opieb1.JPG 


Jeannie 
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Sagesmommy
Im so sorry. I lost my sweet girl yesterday and i kniw the pain all too well. I pray it gets easier for you.
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carmens_mom
I am so very sorry for your loss.  From your post, it almost sounds like Chopper is trying to comfort you by sitting in your lap knowing that you are missing your beautiful boy, Opie B.  We love this little babies so much and in return, we receive unconditional love from them.  It leaves such an emptiness when they are gone.  Give yourself time to grieve because you have suffered a tremendous loss.  I know for a fact what keeps me going is that I know I will be reunited with my Carmen and Gigi at Rainbow Bridge.  And I know they are happy, healthy, getting into all kinds of mischief and without pain.  Opie B will be waiting there for you too - what a glorious reunion that will be!
My warmest regards,  Carmen's and Gigi's mom - alicia
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Opiebsmama
thank you carmen's mom. Your kinds words were helpful. 
sagesmommy, I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard and I have been right where you are today. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I know you will do the same for me. 
Jeannie 
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Dogmom5
I am so sorry for your loss of Opie. He is absolutely adorable. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. It has been almost 4 months since the loss of my Sophie, and some days are definitely more of a struggle than others to get through without her. But knowing we will be with them again is a comfort.

Thinking of you,
Kelly(Sophie’s mom)
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LUCYLULU

Oh Opiebsmama~

I am so very sorry to read about your little man. He is such a handsome boy...especially love his expressive, gorgeous brown eyes!

Thank you for your post on Lucy's thread. After Lucy passed, it took me a long time to be able to breathe, sleep, eat. My mind wouldn't let me think of anything else because I kept replaying the last days, the last moments. I missed my heart & soul girl so much. Nothing else mattered. 

But with the help of the compassionate people here @ the forum, I learned to take it one day at a time-- sometimes one hour or even one minute at a time. It probably doesn't feel like it now...but you will get through this wicked time. Please keep talking to Opieb. He is right there with you because your bond is forever.

Ask for & watch for little 'signs' from your baby. No matter how insignificant it might seem, or even sound a little bit cuckoo...the signs helped me so much. Still do. I'd see cardinals in the back yard. Lucy used to love them-- would stop in her tracks when a red cardinal came to the bird feeders. Dragonflies, butterflies, feathers, wind chimes-- finding a lost toy-- all made me sad but comforted me too. It was as if Lucy was telling me to 'take a deep, deep breathe, calm your heart, I'm right here beside you.' The love remains. Opieb knows how much you love him. He can feel your love wrapped around him. 

Keep coming here. We all truly understand the fierce pain & the hollow heart feeling. Please take care.

Hugs,
Kasey




 

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Chinadoll
What a beautiful boy, I love the pictures! I know how hard it is to just get through one day, but somehow we manage to do it. This journey is a long one, and hopefully you will reach at point in time where you are at peace and the memories are more about the good times, the laughs, the cuddles. Opie is still with you, in your heart and I truly believe that we are all reunited one day. That belief was the only way I could handle the loss, knowing that this isn't the end gave me the strength to move forward. Your emotions will come and go, the pain will overwhelm sometimes but Opie's love will carry you through this tough time. He is always with you, forever, the bond cannot be lost, the love cannot be forgotten. Blessings to you and peace. 
Charlie
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Opiebsmama
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments. It helps to talk about it. My friends and family have asked if I am better. I think better is the wrong word. I think each day is different. Every hour is different. When the sun is shinning and the sky is blue I smile because I know those are the kinds of days that my Opie loved. He was a professional sunbather:). Sunset is hard no matter what the rest of the day was like. Sunset will always now remind me of the time of the day we had to say good bye. Needless to say this past week all of the sunsets have been so beautiful. I know that is him too. 

Kasey, your comments on the signs made me smile. I have definitely been seeing the signs, even in my dreams, which I am so grateful for. I know Opie is with me; I know he would never want to leave me. I just miss his smell and kisses, his bark, and all those physical things that we get use to. I do have fear that I wont be able to recall the sound of his bark like I do now. That is where the sadness moves back in. I am hoping Opie keeps sending me the signs, that will provide me comfort. 

Yesterday marked a week without him. That seems so long because to me, time stood still to some degree. I know that the call will come soon enough that his ashes are ready for pick up and I fear that the emotions will all come rushing back. But I know in my heart my boy will send me strength to get through that. 

We havent picked out an urn yet, just not ready for that piece. we will be making trip back home over christmas and plan to make a donation to the Humane Society where we found our little boy. I know that helping other puppies like Opie will help his mama and daddy feel less helpless. 

thanks everyone for your kinds words. This forum is helping just to know that there are others out there. 

Take care- 
Jeannie 
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