Mojo_Bones
My sweet, cuddly Mojo crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Monday. I am overtaken with grief and it is hard for me to live right now. I can't sleep, eat, yet alone function. Being at home is the hardest. I am expecting him to come jump on my lap or nudge me with his head so that I will pet him. I am constantly grabbing his sweater and squeezing it as tight as i can. It is day 3 and i still cry uncontrollably all day long. I feel guilt, lonely, anger, but most of all like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces.
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pannklaus
I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet, cuddly Mojo.  Everything you describe is perfectly normal, even though it is miserable.  Not being able to function, feeling that nothing will ever be right again, the intense desire to have him back, the emptiness of everything without him--all of that is typical of what we go through when we are grieving for a fur baby who we loved very much.  The price of having loved is grieving when that love is lost.  And the more intense the love was, the deeper the grief is.  The only comfort I can offer is that you are with a group of kind, caring people who will be here for as long as you need us.  We are all in some stage of grief and going through the same experiences as you are.
Patsy
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HamLuv16
I am so sorry for your loss. It is day 4 for me since I lost my sweet Hammy. I am wrecked with grief and the guilt is strong today. Please know you are not alone.
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Memories_of_Marmalade


My Dearest Jenny,

I am very sorry and saddened to learn of your loss of your beloved Mojo. I am always surprised at the "Knowingness" in the eyes of people's pets. I can see that in the eyes of your pup in that photo you shared. A sense of "Knowingness." Of "Presence." 

You wrote: 

"I am overtaken with grief and it is hard for me to live right now. I can't sleep, eat, yet alone function." 

Please know that you are not alone sweetie. Many of us here are experiencing the exact same thing. I knock myself out with sleeping pills each night to fall asleep. I have lost at least 30 lbs. from not eating, I have to force myself in order to do so, I also can not function. I am barely getting anything done.

"Being at home is the hardest."

Same here too. I lived in a warehouse with my boy, a cat named "Marmalade" and it is one giant empty space now. The only space larger and emptier is my heart.

"I am expecting him to come jump on my lap or nudge me with his head so that I will pet him."

Please don't be surprised if your pup's spirit visits you one night. It is very subtle. Usually occurs in between 2:00 am and 4:00 am. I was visited again last night by Marmalade. I heard one single meow. It was so distinctive that it woke me up. Sometimes it is a single meow or a single trill. It is best not to think about it, expect it, attempt to analyze it or over analyze it. Just be Zen about it.

"It is day 3 and i still cry uncontrollably all day long."

I am a grown man of 57 years of age, and going on 11 weeks since I had my boy put to sleep. And I still cry. I was balling my eyes out last night while posting on this forum. I had so many tears in my eyes I could barely see. This is just a part of the grieving process. Let those tears flow! It means you are healing. The negative energy is passed through you, into those tears. Each time you dry them you are removing grief from your body, mind and spirit.

"I feel guilt, lonely, anger, but most of all like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces."

We all do sweetheart. Our hearts are not only broken for our individual losses but for your loss as well.

My kindest regards & sincerest condolences,
James
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Zaneta
I’m sorry for your loss. Your Mojo was gorgeous. I’m sure he is happy now with my Bella. My Bella drowned last week in our pool. The first few days I was lost. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs
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JinglesMom
Mojo_Bones wrote:
My sweet, cuddly Mojo crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Monday. I am overtaken with grief and it is hard for me to live right now. I can't sleep, eat, yet alone function. Being at home is the hardest. I am expecting him to come jump on my lap or nudge me with his head so that I will pet him. I am constantly grabbing his sweater and squeezing it as tight as i can. It is day 3 and i still cry uncontrollably all day long. I feel guilt, lonely, anger, but most of all like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces.


Dear Jenni,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet Mojo, and my heart truly goes out to you. I just wanted to let you know that I so understand and that I have been where you are today. I lost my three beloved kitties within the span of five years, my Jingles, my Jasper, and my Pootie Tang, and I miss them more than words could say. But with time, the raw edges of my grief have softened somewhat, and so will yours. I did not believe those words when others here would tell me that, but it is indeed true. We will always miss them and we will always long to hold them again, and the sadness will always be there, but sometimes we will even be able to remember the sweet and poignant memories with a smile. But when all is said and done, we don't want these memories, we want them back by our sides, where they belong.

I so remember at the beginning of my deep and profound losses, how it seemed as though my tears just would not stop, and I just muddled through the days on autopilot, almost like a robot. It was as though the world had slowed down and I was looking at it from the inside out. Grief is a strange beast, and the stages we go through are so haphazard, and there is absolutely no timeline for what we feel or how we feel. I remember not being able to eat, not being able to sleep, and finding it hard to even breathe because my heart was so heavy.

I know just what you mean about feeling like your heart has shattered into a million pieces. Just know and believe that your beautiful boy is still so close and he can still feel your love for him even now. Write to him, talk to him, call out his name, and I have no doubt that he will be able to hear you. Again I am so sorry for what you are going through, and just know that you are not alone, we are all here for you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and try to keep hope and faith in your heart, your sweet Mojo would not want it any other way. May the sweetness and love of your special boy light your path and let you know that he is still with you, in every way that counts. Hugs, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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