Hi all ~
I lost our dear cat Jimmy on Friday at age 10.5. He was diagnosed when he was about 3 years old with a heart murmer. He was on heart pills for the last 3 years, and was such a trooper.
A month ago I took him to the vet & they told me we were in the next stage & we needed to give him lasix to drain some of the fluid off the heart, and give him a different heart pill 2x a day. I did that. On Friday morning I let him outside at 7am, at 8am I called him & he peeked his head out of the flower patch where he liked to lie. He was dragging his back end, and had no mobility in his legs. I called my husband to call the vet. My kids (ben - 7, fraser - 4) and husband & I took Jimmy to the vet. They told us that they would put him on heprin to thin out the clot, but there was a 50/50 chance it would work. We said bye to him, and walked out. A couple hours later I got the phonecall that Jimmy had passed away due to a clot that entered the heart. They tried to resuscitate him, but it didn't work.
We went in & saw his body an hour later & said goodbye.
I feel sick to my stomach. I cannot stop crying. I mean I CANNOT stop crying. I am a friggin' mess, and I don't want time to pass because every minute that passes is a minute further from the time we spent together. I am feeling guilty that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. I am guilty because we got another kitten 3 months ago, and she is now here, and he is not, and I don't even want her here because she is not cuddly like Jimmy. She is totally active & runs around and is hyper. And I know that is what they do as kittens, but she is not Jimmy, and I am trying to love her, and she just sits by the door waiting for him to come home..... :-(
I used to touch Jimmy & he would start purring. He used to climb on my chest, and come at the quick call. He was more like a dog than a cat! He was such an awesome boy. I cannot make sense of any of this. I am so confused, distraught, and am just dying inside. I feel like someone has ripped my soul out. I am so sad that I will never EVER see him again, hold him again, listen to his purring. He was my support if my husband & I were arguing, or if I was challenged by my kids. He was my rock.
He was with us through our first 10 years of marriage, birth of 2 children, 3 moves, death of our one cat 'monkey', and bringing home a new kitten 'petunia'.
I seriously feel like I am going crazy. I am sooooo upset and sad....
Will it ever get better? I am so sick with sadness...