My beautiful fur baby was put to sleep last Friday, Feb 9, then taken to the crematory where she was cremated this past Monday.
Last June, she was diagnosed with feline chronic kidney disease. We treated it as best we could, but we knew it was something that could only be managed as there was no reversal. She took a turn for the worst the beginning of last week, stopped eating, and we decided it best to end her suffering. This was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, but I know it was the right thing. Things went smoothly at the vet. I brought her favorite towel to put on the table so she would have something familiar to lay on. They were great and let us linger with her as long as we wanted without being rushed. She had clearly given up the fight, and slipped away painlessly and peacefully, with a bit of a sigh at the end. I'd been petting, hugging, kissing her and holding her paw the whole time. And there were plenty of tears, too. I told her I loved her over and over.
Love is Forever
On the drive to the pet crematory. I held her in my arms, hugged, kissed, petted and talked to her. I laid her in a basket they gave me while we made the arrangements for the final step. Before I left, I hugged and kissed her goodbye. We should receive her ashes in the next couple of days. They also took an imprint of her paw in a piece of clay and gave it to us as a memento.
Coming home with an empty cat carrier to an empty apartment was the absolute worst. There were reminders of her all around: basket, scratching post, food, water bowls, etc. I found a few of her whiskers around her basket and other places.
I have cried so much, felt so lost and hollowed out the last days. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and haven't woken up from it. The emptiness is overwhelming. I look for her around every corner, if I'm out and come in, I momentarily hope to see her or for her to greet me. Still, I can hardly believe she is gone.
I am just anxious to have what remains of her back home with me. I have cleared a space near my desk for her urn, the clay paw imprint, a photo, her collar and her favorite toy. It will be my memorial to her.
Rest in peace, my darling. My only comfort is that you are not in pain or suffering anymore and are at peace. You will live on forever in our hearts and we will always love you and cherish the 16 years we had together and all the happiness and joy you brought us <3