I am so sorry. I know the feeling. It’s the worse thing in the world losing a loved one. and our pets are loved ones. part of our family. I lost my cat Bunny last month and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, and I’m an older lady. it’s hard to not be swallowed up in grief. allow yourself to cry as much and as often as you need. it will take awhile, but it will get easier. I don’t know if you are a person of faith (I am) but if you are, trust in Gods promises. I know that in the Bible in Revelation, He promises to make all things new. not all new things. We will see our fur babies again. I’m sure of it.