agirlnamedraquel Show full post »
Lynnmac

Runningman66 how are you? You have been in my thoughts. I saw earlier post that you had reached out form help and I am glad you did so. I noticed you were British (me too although been in states for 7 years). Don’t ever think you are being a bother to the doctor or the pandemic means you can’t see a doctor. YOU are important and i truly
hope it helps to talk with a professional. Coco is proud of you, as we are all on this forum. 

Take care xox

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chilover
Runningman

You mentioned that you are British. Are you familiar with the blue cross pet bereavement support service hotline? Just like this wonderful forum it is very helpful. It is a free number & was set up for people like us who have lost a beloved pet. They have helped me a great deal just like this forum has & both have saved me when I have felt at my lowest...

Deuce
The shrine to your baby is lovely.

Daisy's mummy
Angelina 
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Runningman66
Thank you for your lovely caring replies.Yes I know of Blue Cross and I will contact them if I have no luck with my doctor referring me to a councellor as per am waiting for him to get back to me but I guess I’m low on priorities with this virus still causing havoc and my parents cannot even give me hug as they are in the vulnerable category.Safe to say I want 2020 over as quickly as possible as there are still hard days ahead like my Coco’s what would have been his 10th birthday on July 19th and the thought of Christmas without him just does not make me look forward to a period of the year I usually love.I miss hearing his feet on the wooden floor,his barks when we played,rolling over for a belly tickle,tugging on his toys,his head on my leg when eating,hearing him eat out of his bowl,panting when we came in from walks and his lips twitching when he was dreaming.He took a piece of my heart when he passed over which I will never recover from.Love you and miss you everyday my beautiful boy xx
Take care all
Runningman xx
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agirlnamedraquel

I had to put my wonderful Border Collie to sleep tonight. Like you, I refer to her as the ‚love of my life‘. Isn’t the pain just awful? I’m missing her so very much and just want her back! 

I’m so very sorry for your loss and for this late reply. I have been having a tough time lately. The pain really is horrible. It’s the deepest pain and loss I have ever felt. I also want my little love back! I wish every day that somehow it could be possible. I hope you are healing. I wish you peace and comfort. 

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agirlnamedraquel

Thank you for your lovely caring replies.Yes I know of Blue Cross and I will contact them if I have no luck with my doctor referring me to a councellor as per am waiting for him to get back to me but I guess I’m low on priorities with this virus still causing havoc and my parents cannot even give me hug as they are in the vulnerable category.Safe to say I want 2020 over as quickly as possible as there are still hard days ahead like my Coco’s what would have been his 10th birthday on July 19th and the thought of Christmas without him just does not make me look forward to a period of the year I usually love.I miss hearing his feet on the wooden floor,his barks when we played,rolling over for a belly tickle,tugging on his toys,his head on my leg when eating,hearing him eat out of his bowl,panting when we came in from walks and his lips twitching when he was dreaming.He took a piece of my heart when he passed over which I will never recover from.Love you and miss you everyday my beautiful boy xx
Take care all
Runningman xx


This is just so heartbreaking. I relate to everything you posted so much. Reyna’s birthday is coming up on July 4th. She would have been 15. She also loved the holidays, everyone coming over and bringing her little presents which she would open herself. It was so cute. I swear that sometimes I can hear the click of her nails on the kitchen floor and the sound of her drinking from her water bowl. I can empathize with you saying that Coco took a piece of your heart with him. I feel the same. Reyna has a piece of mine that I will never recover from either. I suspect this is a loss I will feel until I take my own last breath. 

I hope that you have been able to get some help and/or that you are feeling even slightly better.  I try to stay as busy as possible to keep my mind off things. It sometimes works, but usually not for long. *sigh* 

Please take good care. Lots of comfort and healing thoughts. 

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Runningman66
Thanks agirlnamedraquel
Well regarding my request to see my doctor who could refer me  to a councellor I was told not surprisingly that due to covid even the councellors are only doing appointments by phone and I already rang the Samaritans a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling very very low and that did help a little bit.Like most of us on here the days are hard and the nights are well just awful.I’m still waking up in the early hours sitting on the edge of my empty bed crying is this all just a dream and I’m sure the stress/lack of sleep is affecting my own health as my polymyalgia has got worse but for the time being I’m soldiering on like we all must.I wish I could say after six weeks it’s getting easier to accept my boy has gone forever but it’s not.My head knows he’s gone but someone forgot to tell my heart.
Love to all
Runningman
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agirlnamedraquel

Thanks agirlnamedraquel
Well regarding my request to see my doctor who could refer me  to a councellor I was told not surprisingly that due to covid even the councellors are only doing appointments by phone and I already rang the Samaritans a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling very very low and that did help a little bit.Like most of us on here the days are hard and the nights are well just awful.I’m still waking up in the early hours sitting on the edge of my empty bed crying is this all just a dream and I’m sure the stress/lack of sleep is affecting my own health as my polymyalgia has got worse but for the time being I’m soldiering on like we all must.I wish I could say after six weeks it’s getting easier to accept my boy has gone forever but it’s not.My head knows he’s gone but someone forgot to tell my heart.
Love to all
Runningman


I know that feeling of sitting on your bed at night crying. It’s awful. Certainly the added stress and lack of sleep can affect your health negatively. I hope you recover soon in that regard. Today, I was cleaning out some things to put in storage and I found a little box with Reyna’s first baby tooth. I had saved it when it fell out when she was just a little pup. I absolutely lost it. The pain came back full force and hit me like a brick. 

Due to covid I have also been having therapy sessions via phone calls. Telemedicine they’re calling it. What a strange new world we are living in. Anyway, even though it’s by phone, the sessions have been helping me cope. So, I am grateful for them. I’m glad you got some help from Samaritans. 

You put it perfectly when you said “my head knows he’s gone but someone forgot to tell my heart.“ That’s exactly right. I think we can all empathize with that sentiment. 

lots of love and healing. 

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