angie82
My dog whom I love the most and has been a therapist for me for 12 years just died last Thursday. I’ve never been sad and hurt like this in my entire life. I wake and go to bed crying. I sniff all her belongings and cuddle with it but it is not enough. I do not know how will I be able to coupe from this pain. It hurts so bad that I want to die with her. I watch her taking her last breath at home and I could not erase it in my brain. I live a rough life for 5 years and she was my best friends. She helped me she was always there for me when I am sad. Now I am extremely sad but she is not here to comfort me. I miss her so much and I am so depressed and want to give up life. I need help....
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Angeline,

I am so sorry and saddened to learn of your recent loss. You wrote:

"My dog whom I love the most and has been a therapist for me for 12 years"

I have consistently read posts and comments on this pet grief forum by others who have claimed that their beloved pet's "listened to them", "helped them through dark & difficult times", were "with them through thick & thin", even "saved their lives" and yet yours is the FIRST post where someone actually acknowledged their pet was their "therapist" ! Well done! We should all proclaim them as such! 

In my case too, my beloved pet, an orange & white tabby cat named "Marmalade" was my THERAPIST. He saved my life countless times. He never gave up on me. He was loyal, steadfast and true. He loved & cherished me through everything we experienced together and never, ever judged, insulted, betrayed or lied to me. He was my best friend, my son, my brother, my amigo, my comrade in arms, my love and the light in my life.

Like so many here, we are all broken hearted and completely, beyond devastated. I have consistently thought about ending it all, since my Marmalade was put to sleep 8 weeks ago last week, as what was the point of going on living without my best friend? Without his love? Without the joy and laughter he brought into my every day living? But fortunately I landed here (as you have) and I've been very blessed to have received help from some of the many compassionate, loving, kind, gracious, wise, warm and empathetic souls that post and share here. I know they can help you too and somehow, we will all make it through our deep grief and overwhelming sorrow.

I welcome you here, even under such sad and tragic circumstances.

My sincerest condolences & my kindest regards,
James
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Jcunnane
Dear Angeline,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved pup. Like James said you’ve come to a good place here. A place where, sadly, we know what you’re experiencing. The pain, the guilt, the endless tears, the giant lump in your throat, the hyperventilating, the heavy weight on your chest and lack of sleep. Plus so much more. We all cherish our “pets” more so as children, our best friends. They’re just not animals to us.

I lost my ginger tabby boy, Bubby, 5 weeks ago this coming Thursday to renal failure. He would have been 10 the 28th of this month. Like you, Bubby was there for almost a 1/3 of my life. I’m about one year and two weeks younger then you. Believe I get it. Bubby was my rock, my comfort. I didn’t know how much I really depended on him until he wasn’t here. He was there for me through my awkward and horrendous 20’s. He was there when we bought our first house, got married, had our first baby with a very challenging pregnancy. And through it all, I knew I could count on him if I was have a really crappy day. He didn’t care. He was there to give me all the love I needed. He loved to be loved and loved giving love. Sadly, that chapter has come to and end and reluctantly a new one begins, without him being here. And that is terrifying. I haven’t been able to sleep in almost 5 weeks. He would always lay with me and just him being near and his smell would put me into a deep sleep. It’s been really hard but I’m trying my best to take it minute by minute, dad by day. Some days are good, some days are bad. At any moment I can just start crying my eyes out. But I know I need to go through this so difficult time. I need to be able to put Bubby in a special spot so I can keep going and hold onto our love and bond tightly. He was my hero, my rock, my love, my comfort, my son...

Please be gentle with yourself. We’re here for you and know it’s a process. I know my process will be long. But I know one day I’ll be able to think about him with happy memories. So please know you’re not alone. This forum has been a great help to me and I have made new friends. Their support has helped me through this difficult time. They’ve made me think about good memories, made me smile and even laugh! Please come here as often as you would like. Share photos, stories, letters to your pup. But please know we’re here for you.

Sending you hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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JimB
Angeline, I know the feeling... as do plenty of other people here. I too was just about suicidal over my having to take my best friend to be euthanized at the vet on June 21. I wanted to just crawl into her little grave with her. I prayed for God to kill me, even though I knew that my wife Yvonne would be left with the devastation of losing our baby girl and her husband. Please believe me, I know the pain you're going through.

One thing I can tell you is that, as painful as it is right now, you will get through this. The pain will always be there, but it'll get easier to handle. Give yourself some time. A month or two. You'll see.

Love,
jimmy
“Beautiful memories treasured forever of the special times we shared together, faithful companion until the end, rest in peace - farewell my friend”.
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angie82
Thank you guys for talking to me. This really helps ease some pain . Today I saw a yorkie dog in the bank and I started crying and I can’t help but I was starring at the dog. The dog owner thought that I was weird. I did apologize to her and told her that I just recently loss a love of my life.
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Hi Angeline,

Oh what delightful photos! Your Yorkie "Snicker" was such a cutie! : )

Thank you for sharing those photos will all of us here.

I am glad that you checked in to let us know how you are doing.

Kind regards,
James
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AstrosDad
Hey, it's rough and it will probably be rough for a while.  That only means you are human and you had a special bond and I'm sure your dog would want you to continue to share the love you gave her and that she gave you back.  I suspect dogs are here to show us how to be better people.  In my opinion, their innocence and joy and unconditional, constant love is a lesson for how we should all behave.  They are our role models.  When you are ready, take the love that she gave to you and share it with another needy dog.  There are so many out there that have giant hearts and just want a friend and shelter buddy.  It's been nearly 5 weeks since I put my dog down, and I am still in shock.  Tomorrow, I decided I will go volunteer at the local shelter, and I know that means I will be adopting again sooner rather than later because when I walk into a shelter, I am overwhelmed with emotion and feel the need to rescue at least one creature.  Everyone has their own time clock when it comes to grieving.  The guilt and dread and regret and sadness comes and goes in waves.  Just know that there are many, many others who know exactly what you are going through.  It sucks, no doubt about it.  When you are ready, pay it forward.  I wish the best to you in this difficult time.
Charlie Bee
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