Dear Parker, My Little Peanut,
Today I am writing to your brothers, Porter and Leroy. I am sure they are missing you as much as I am.
Leroy, I’ve noticed sadness in your eyes since your brother is no longer here. The expressions on your face tell me you don’t know where he is, you are confused, and maybe think he is going to be here at any moment. I know you don’t have the same sense of time as I do, so to you, time hasn’t passed that much. I can understand why you might think Parker will be by your side at any time. If he was here, he would be cuddling with you most of the day. Whenever your brother Porter would bark out the window, Parker would come running and give out a howling bark or two. He didn’t even know why he was barking. He just wanted to join in with Porter. Leroy, sometimes you would join them, and you also didn’t know why you were barking. Leroy, the other day you had some eye tear staining, very unusual for you. I thought Parker was coming through you. He was the only one who had that. Your brother Porter showed some tear staining, too. He doesn’t usually have that either. I would use my extra bottle of saline drops for Parker. This time I used it for you, but Leroy, you gave me a hard time. I know that was not Parker coming through you. He wouldn’t give me a hard time. He liked me giving him the drops. He was always so good about it. I think he knew how much better his eyes felt after getting the drops. Leroy, I know now that if you need the drops, the best time to give them to you is when you are drowsy. Leroy, the drops helped you. The next day your eyes cleared up. It must be hard for you Leroy, to think that when you go to sleep, that Parker will be right by your side, cuddling with you as he always did. Parker would sleep between you and Porter. At bedtime, I would tuck in my Three Dog Night. Parker loved being next to the both of you. He was a true friend and a loving brother.
Porter, you and Parker used to play and wrestle when you were very young. As time went on, you became more interested in looking out the window. That’s when I began to call you Mrs. Kravitz. Leroy and Parker began to play more together as they grew closer. Porter, you are still very concerned about who passes by the house and you keep watch at the window. You don’t like it when people walk by, especially when they have a dog. You will keep barking until they are no longer in sight. I remember when Parker would hear you barking and run down the stairs as fast as he could to see what was going on. He would be right next to you when you ran back and forth to each window. Porter, you are a character in the morning. It used to be you and Parker who would jump up on the bed and wake us up. I miss those days. You still jump up on the bed and wake us up, but you are alone now. Leroy runs around the room with his squeaky. He’s never been agile enough to jump up on the bed. Porter, the mornings are always funny when you roll around on your back, under a blanket, while you kick the blanket with your feet. Parker and Leroy would try to copy you, but they just didn’t have the knack. You invented that rolling trick. Porter, sometimes you would growl at me at night when I tucked you in. The Chihuahua you are, I always expected it. There have been many nights since Parker is gone that you Porter, have not growled when I tucked you in. I’ve thought maybe it was Parker coming through you. He would never growl. I could wake up Parker in the middle of the night and he would be fine with it. Porter, I wish you would play more with Leroy. I know you weren’t that close to him, but Leroy enjoys your company. I think sometimes he would like you to be more friendly. Porter, you weren’t used to playing with Leroy, but maybe sometimes you can try to warm up to him. You will find Leroy is very easygoing and just wants to have a friend. He misses Parker. Porter, maybe you can give him some company.
My Three Amigos, I wish it could be the way it was. It was always so much fun with the three of you, my Three Stooges. The mornings and time for walks were hilarious. Feeding time was crazy. It was mostly Parker who made it fun. He was the leader, the life of the party, the energy, and the shining light here.
Parker, we all miss you. Leroy and Porter, your brother Parker is watching over you both. He will take care of you. He wants you both to be happy and healthy. He will see you again at another time and another place.
Parker, I Love You. Please watch over us. We’ve gone through so much when we lost you. It’s been hard on your Mom. I struggle daily with intermittent tears and sadness. I try not to cry, but it’s hard without you beside me. I can’t believe you are not here. I have trouble accepting that.
My Little Peanut, we are all missing you and we all love you forever.