Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 8 of 8     «   Prev   5   6   7   8
Lillymylove

Registered:
Posts: 153
Reply with quote  #106 
May I ask what cardinals are?
__________________
David 
0
Doxiemom

Registered:
Posts: 36
Reply with quote  #107 
The cardinal is a red bird . When seen it is believed to be a sign from heaven that you’re loved one is ok.
0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #108 

HELLO MY LITTLE PARKER,

I am still missing you so very much.  Your brothers were on the deck this morning. It rained last night. I remember telling all of you not to lick the water after it rained. I did not want you to get sick from standing water. I watched over all of you like a hawk.  I cannot understand how I let this happen. You and I were very close. You were my little model when I made clothes for you guys.  I remember how good you were about trying on the clothes. I would put them on you and take them off, over and over.  What good little boy.  I knew that then. The last time you had your modeling session was just before this happened. I remember that day so clearly.  You kept coming in the room to let me know it was time to eat. I asked you to wait a few minutes. I was just finishing up your little coat. I put away that coat. I cannot look at it now.  It hurts too much. I am sorry if I am making you sad. Mom is very sad. 

I did not hear the Cardinal for a while, but I heard it on Thursday and I saw it yesterday. I hope that was you, Parker.  Please give me any sign. I will look for it. I wish you were here. Every single day I want you to be here.  I miss you every day. 

Your brother Leroy needed minor surgery on his face last Monday.  He had two small cysts removed, he also got his teeth cleaned.  Parker, I know you watched over him because he is doing very well.  One cyst  was on his eyelid and being checked for cancer.  My baby, I am praying your brother does not have cancer.  I should know by Wednesday.  I know you will make it right. Leroy must wear a cone. He is getting used to it.  He managed to pick up his squeaky toy in the cone and squeak it while running around.  I know the two of you would have had so much fun.  You would have tried to take the squeaky from him.  He has been pretty good going up the stairs and opening doors. I was surprised when he came upstairs on his own and pushed open the bedroom door with his cone.  It is kind of funny and cute.  I am glad Leroy did not try to go down the stairs. That would be dangerous. I keep the gate closed to the stairway. I keep the door closed to the basement.  Nothing is going to happen to Leroy or Porter.  I will make sure of it.

Parker, I hope you are spiritually here with us.  I hope your brothers can feel your spirit. Leroy looks sad.  I absolutely know he is missing you.  You were there for your brothers.  You never left Leroy’s side. You were there when Leroy was sick. I remember you kissing him on the face. I have pictures you the two of you. I always loved those pictures.  I knew from the start how close you and Leroy were. You were close to your brother, too. You were their best friend. 

You were my little sweetheart. One of my three best friends in the world. I am missing one.  How could they do this to us and never give me an explanation?   I am so sorry Parker that I allowed you go there. It hurts me so much.  I wish I could make it up to you.  The only things I can do are to keep talking and writing to you, take very good care of your brothers, and I will never forget you.

My sweet little baby remember that Mom has always loved you. I will be looking for a sign from you. I would much rather have you here. 

FOREVER YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART AND I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU.

LOVE,

MOM

 

0
Julia_Loves_McCartney

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 117
Reply with quote  #109 
I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain that you're still going through. Please don't feel guilty; that is all on the vet. I'm praying for you. I read some of your posts about Parker. It's clear you loved him so much. And I truly believe God was sending a message when your other dogs kissed you goodnight when they normally don't. I hope it helped cheer you up. From my experience, the best grief comfort is our other fur babies. God bless and I hope things get a little better. 
__________________

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #110 

MISSING YOU, PARKER, MY PRECIOUS ANGEL, 

I clearly remember the night I was on the desktop computer in the other room shopping for your Dad’s birthday and Christmas presents.   I waited until he was asleep to do my shopping. You slowly walked in the room. You were unsure if you could be in there with me.  You were always so obedient.  You saw me smile and then I got one of your beds so you could be comfortable. You stayed with me the entire time. Just watching me.  You always followed me around the house. I loved that.  Sometimes I didn’t even know you were there until I went downstairs and then I would look for you.  I miss that.

Your brother Leroy misses you so much.  He is wearing a cone because of his surgery.  I know you would be kissing and grooming him.  You would always groom him and your other brother and look at me while you were doing it.  It was as if to say, “Hey, look at me.”  You were such a “licky and licking” kind of dog. When you were done with your meal, you would lick your bowl dry.  When you gave me kisses, you always went for the lips.  I would tell you, “No, not on my lips,” but it was too late.  You already slobbered me up.  You were so lovable. I have never had a dog who was as lovable as you. You spread your love among all of us.  It was never-ending love.  I miss that. 

Parker, I don’t know how to get by some days.  Time seems to stand still, yet it goes by fast. The world keeps turning, so I have to keep up, but it is very difficult without you.  Each day is a struggle without you. I expect to see you in the morning, rolling around on your back, trying to copy your brother, Porter.  You really didn’t know how to roll around like he does.  You and Leroy would mimic him, but he is the official back roller. He is Curly Howard reincarnated, but then sometimes I would think he was more like Moe.  You were still very cute when you rolled on your back.  I miss that.

You three were my “maniacs.”  It was crazy time in the morning, at feeding time, and going outside.  Things are so different here without you.  It seems more serious. It is quiet now. There are no maniacs.  You were the leader. The craziness is gone.  I miss that.

Parker, I am hurting.  I need you here. We need you. This is not the way it was supposed to be.  I planned to take portraits this summer of you three and put the prints on the walls.  That will not happen now. For some reason your brothers run the other way when they see the camera.  Of the three of you, you were the one who was so good posing for pictures.  I miss that.

Parker, one night when you were out late with your Dad, I came to get you and Porter. I put the two of you in my car.  You left muddy footprints on the back seats and on my console.  I have not washed them off.  I will never wash them off.  You were so cute when in the car.  I miss that.

Parker, everything I did, I did it for you three little ones.  My “Boys.”  You were all my Baby Boys. I washed your bowls daily. I washed your bedding weekly. I did not use dryer sheets. I was concerned about the chemicals.  I worried about you breathing in those strong odors from paint stain so, I did not stain the wall trim.  It was never a burden to do things for you and your brothers.  It makes me happy to care for them.  I wish I could care for you now.  I miss you.

Parker, the Cardinal has been here for a couple of days.  It has been in our yard.  Please stay if that is you or your messenger.  I am wanting to believe you are with me, and that you are telling me you are safe and you forgive me.  I miss you.

I LOVE YOU FOR ETERNITY

LOVE,

MOM   


20190529_171822_footprint_resized.jpg 


 

 

 

 


0
Memories_of_Marmalade

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 692
Reply with quote  #111 


Always such beautiful, heartfelt and poignant letters to your Parker. So many of your feelings, emotions, observations and experiences echo many of my own, as they do for others here. Thank you as always for allowing us to read your wonderful letters to your beloved Parker.

James
0
Max147

Registered:
Posts: 73
Reply with quote  #112 
Tina, I still have Max's paw prints on my console, I will never clean them off. My pain is still immense as is yours. I dont know why I cant stop missing my Max every second every minute every hour of every day. I am a changed person. I often think of you & read your letters to sweet Parker & I understand completely your sorrow & pain. Xx
0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #113 

DEAR PARKER, MY SWEETHEART,

While I was driving the other day, I heard songs that reminded me of when I used to have you dance with me. You were so small, I had to kneel, stand you up on your back feet, and hold onto your paws. Then I would gently turn you side to side and sing along to the music. You loved that!  You, with your tiny paws, a little larger than my thumbs. What a good sport you were!  You would dance with me until the song was over. More good songs would play, so I had to switch to Leroy and give you a break. Your tiny little feet could stand only so long. “Satisfaction”, “The Twist”, and “Till I Kissed You” were some of my favorite songs to “cut a rug” with you. You used to like to bop to “Doo-Wop” music.   I wanted so badly to dance with you when I got home the other day, but then reality hit me that you are not here. I felt very sad, Parker. Your happy little face would light up when you heard the music. It breaks my heart that we can’t do that anymore.  I think you would have sung along if you could talk.   

My Little Peanut, you are always on my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.  I will cherish you forever.

Your brother Leroy’s cysts were benign. He got his stitches out and he does not need the cone anymore.  He was getting used to that cone. I could not believe how he managed to go up and down the stairs with no problem. He was having fun using the cone as a basket to catch his squeaky toy.  I wonder if he will miss the cone.  Parker, I know you protected him.  Parker, your brother Porter is not feeling well. The boundless energy all three of you has caught up with him.  For the last couple of weeks, he has been running around here, up and down the stairs, running out to the deck, barking at everything and everyone. He must have pulled something in his lower back or maybe Leroy banged into him with the cone.  He saw Dr. Chris who set him up with meds. He is better than what he was, but he needs to rest. Once he is better, I will keep a close eye on him.  His endless energy makes him think he is Superdog.  I know you will watch over him. 

Parker, your Mom is not the same since you are not here. This entire situation has changed me. I will not trust anyone except for Dr. Chris.  Leroy had his teeth cleaned when he had the cysts removed. I was told his teeth were very clean before they cleaned them. It was good news, but also alarming. I think now that you did not need your teeth cleaned, and they could have waited. I believe we were steered the wrong way and none of what you went through was necessary.  I always worry you were kept in a fearful state and it was completely wrong and immoral for them not to send you home. Parker, I just hope you did not suffer. I am so very sorry. You Mom lives with this horrible thought and it eats away at my brain. I was and I am still so devoted to you.  I would never put you in danger.  I trusted they would use good judgment and do the right thing. I am so sorry, my baby.  I have trouble believing all of this is real.  

Please forgive me.  You Mom feels pain about this, and I am trying to move forward. The world turns, yet I stand still.  I need you to watch over me, too.  I need your encouragement. You were always so strong and very forgiving. I am sorry. I want you here I want to see you staring down from the top of the stairs. I want to see you teasing and biting Leroy’s ear and leg. I want to see you grooming your brothers. I want to see you in your little bed waiting for me. 

I LOVE YOU.  I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH.  I WILL WRITE AGAIN.

LOVE,

MOM

 

0
Memories_of_Marmalade

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 692
Reply with quote  #114 


I am always touched by your letters to your beloved Parker.

You wrote:

"The world turns, yet I stand still"


That is a brilliant and very profound line.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings & observations.

My kindest regards as always,
James
0
155

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 138
Reply with quote  #115 
It's 6am Tina and the tears are flowing.

Beautiful letter to little Parker.
1
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #116 

Hello, My Little Peanut,

I am missing you so very much.  The days seem to drag without you being here.  I am keeping Leroy and Porter company.  Porter is feeling better since he injured himself, or Leroy fell on him.  See, Parker, if you were here, you and Leroy would have been together, and Porter may not have gotten hurt.  You were always the hero in his house.  

I heard the 
Cardinal today.  I was hoping it was your message that you came to visit, and you are okay.  I will be writing you a long letter.  I have a lot of good things to say to you, my sweetheart.  


Parker, your Mom is praying to novenas.  One to St. Anthony and one to St. Jude.  When they work and come true, I will tell you all about them.  

I Love You my special little one.  Please remember we will be together again one day.  It seems like forever.  I will hold you again, and near to my heart.  You are my special sweetie.  No one can take your place. 

Parker, My Little Peanut, I think about you day and night, night and day.  Your love still fills the air that I breathe. You are always with me and I will always be with you.  

Missing you, my little boy,

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

More loving thoughts to follow.

Love,
Mom 

Hearts-clip-art-red-heart-free-clipart-images18pct.jpg 


0
pannklaus

Registered:
Posts: 324
Reply with quote  #117 
A beautiful letter.  I am so glad you saw a cardinal.  I know it means something.
__________________
Patsy
0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #118 

My Darling Little Peanut,

It seems I cannot get it together sometimes.  I do not feel like I used to.  I am missing your spark and gusto that kept us all energized. Your sparkle is only a memory now for me. Time is going by fast and I do not know how I will be on Christmas Eve. I already feel my heart racing.  There are days I am in a trance and I just go with the motions. If the world were flat, I would fall off.

I always think about when you made life so much fun in our home. When I use the SodaStream, I always think of how excited you would get when you would hear its buzzing sound. Then your brother, Porter would chime in and the two of you would get so crazy about it.  There was something about that buzzing sound that would get you going.  Odd noises would excite you.  I would love to tease you by popping bubble wrap. You hated the small bubbles.  A couple of pops and you would run toward it as if to attack it.  It was funny watching you. Your brother Leroy did not like when I popped the big bubbles. He would run back and forth and bark.

The three of you were humorously entertaining, like the times I would lower the Freddy Krueger doll by a rope and dangle him. Oh wow, you three would go berserk. Neither of you liked Freddy.  Porter wanted to tear him apart. I remember when he ripped off his leg.  It was hysterical to watch all of you chase that doll.

What an acrobat you were for a small dog!  When you were young, you could jump very high.  There were so many times we found you on the counter, and one time in the sink.  We could not believe the strength you had to jump that high.  We were amazed.  We were not told that you were part Jack Russell and you didn’t look like one, but you could jump like one. There was a day when we let the three of you run loose while we went out. You guys got hold of a cereal box. I left a box of cereal on the counter. We did not know at that time that you could jump like that. We came home and there was the box and the empty cereal bag, on the floor. We could not figure out how you guys got that cereal. Then we figured it out. It was you who jumped on the counter, then you had your lookout guys, Porter and Leroy, to make sure the coast was clear, and you knocked down the box. Then the three of you had a feeding frenzy. There wasn’t a crumb left behind.

There was the time we left the three of you in our bedroom. We were only gone for a short while. We figured you would lie down on your beds and maybe look out the window. What could go wrong?  It seemed like a safe place for you boys to hang out for a little bit. Well, I forgot I left a tall plastic cup on my dresser. It had a little bit of iced tea in it. Just enough I guess for you to see or to smell. You, Parker, were the leader of this pack, again.  You somehow got from my nightstand to the dresser and knocked over the cup. When we got home, we found a chewed-up cup. Good thing there wasn’t a lot of liquid in it.  When you jumped on my nightstand and dresser, your little nails scratched the tops. At one time I was going to sand out the scratches and fix it, but I am glad I didn’t.  I think of you and your crazy shenanigans every time I see those scratches. I don’t care about those scratches.  I would trade them to have you here with me.  None of that matters anymore. You could scratch all the furniture if I could have you back, my sweetheart.

I miss your zany escapades.  It is as if there is a power outage in our home without you here.  It is dark. The light has gone out. You were the light. You were the spark that made the light shine.  I struggle each day without you.  I know Leroy does, too.  I feel bad for him because he does not understand. I don’t understand either.  None of it makes sense.

Parker, the other day I learned that a couple lost their home to a fire. Everything they had is gone. They also lost their two dogs and a cat.  I want to ask you to take care of their pets and watch over them. They died a horrible way. The dogs are Daisy and Max, and the cat is Tucker.  Please help them find their way without their parents.  I know you can take care of them. I know how strong you are. You are stronger than I am. I always admired your strength. Also, please watch over your brothers, Porter and Leroy.  You are a driving force to keep them strong and healthy.

Parker, I saw you in my dream the other day. You were shaking your squeaky toy.  I walked toward you and suddenly you disappeared. It was a dream of you within a dream. I want you to come back in my dreams, with a sign, anything so that I can feel your presence. 

Parker, My Little Peanut, I Love You till the end of time.

Love,

Mom

0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #119 

A LETTER TO PARKER FROM LEROY, HIS BROTHER

My Brother Parker,

You and Porter stayed with us for a while before we became brothers.  I felt the chemistry the day we met.  I remember the teasing and chops busting. We would bust each other all the time, but we know it was all in fun.  I think Mom would get nervous thinking we might get too rough, but we knew what we were doing.

I will never forget how you cared for me when I was sick. You knew how bad I felt, and you stayed by my side.  Mom thinks it was a food allergy and that I’d eat too fast.  Mom changed our food and got us those crazy bowls. I figured them out right away. I don’t think she knows that. I act like it’s hard for me to get to my food. I ’ll tell you bro, I’ve felt pretty good since she got me that bowl.  I remember you loved licking every last drop of your bowl.  I must have picked that up from you. Now I am doing it. 

My allergies are bothering me. Sneezing a lot. I keep forgetting not to put my face in the grass. I love smelling everything. You hardly had any allergies. I don’t remember you sneezing. I don’t remember you ever getting sick, except that time you had those fractured teeth. By the way, I saw Dr. Chris. I had 2 small lumps and he got rid of them. One was on my eyelid.  Mom thought I’d be scared when they removed the stitches. I didn’t even feel it.  He also cleaned my teeth. I got my rabies shot, too. It didn’t hurt.

Mom let me run around in the garden. There are a lot of pumpkins. She’s been adding pumpkin in our food.  I like it. You know I like everything. How about the time I ate cardboard?  I don’t do that anymore.

It’s so different without you.  Where are you, bro?  Heaven or something?  I never knew where you went.  I looked for you for months.  I thought you were at someone’s house or something. You never came back.  I’m sad, bro. I wish you were here.  We had so much fun together. Now it’s boring without you.  I sleep a lot.  It was so great when you were here.  You always wanted to play, and you liked taking my squeaky, but I always got it back from you. 

We had some crazy times.  I didn’t mind you biting my legs. It didn’t hurt. You liked biting my ears, too.  I know you were just kidding.  Anyway, I could whoop your butt if I wanted, but I never wanted to.

I love you brother.  I wish you were here now.  I’m confused why you’re gone.  I heard Mom talking about signs or something like that.  She said they may have been from you.  Can you give me a sign, too?  I want to know if you are okay.  My brother, I always think about you.  I miss you. 

Sometimes I see Mom crying.  I think she is crying because you are not here.  I feel like crying, too. I don’t want to make you sad, but I am sad.  I hope I see you again.  I’m looking for your sign, my brother.

Love,

Leroy

 

 

0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #120 
My Sweet and Precious Little Baby,

I want you to know that part of my novena prayers has been granted.   I am still praying for the rest.  I will let you know when those are answered.


I am thinking of you all the time.  I miss you so much.  I will be writing more to you later, my sweet little one.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER,

Love,
Mom
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.