So I have decided I need to get away because as much as I just want to be left alone in my room I hate it as well, my sister is going to get time off work because I told her I am scared if bring alone. This will be my first time so far away from home and I am scared but I am still in a deep dark hole if grieving and I'm scared that when I'm alone(8 hour trip on train and bus) that I will be left to think about losing Fluffy and I will get emotional. I don't want to have people stating at me but when I get emotional at the moment it changes just like that I can be crying then happy and then really angry and depressed. How can I keep my emotions under control for that long when I am by myself, also I am having trouble explaining to my family why I still have all Fluffys things the way she left them, I am scared when I come home they will have cleaned her things out because mum says it will help to not see her things. And lastly I don't want to come back home and fall back into sleeping all the time and bring depressed but I just don't know how to take the first steps and what to do.
Oh and just wanted to make sure you all know my name is April,Fluffy and Bunny is the names of my rabbits.
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Sometimes when I'm siting at my desk at work I think about my cat, Mittens and I start to get teary eyed. One thing that helps me is to immediately try to think of a happy thought or I'll think of something with work that's complicated so it'll distract me.

Have you tried to explain to your mom that you are not ready to move any of FluffyBunny's things? I still have Mittens' favorite blanket in the living room on the floor. My husband wanted to move it, but I told him that it actually brought me comfort and that I wanted to leave some of his stuff where it is. I explained to him that I need to have a place I can go where I can talk to Mittens. I sure hope your family does not get rid of Fluffy's things.

Mittens' mommy
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I don't know how to do this, other than not think about it.

I watched Godzilla the other day and started crying when they killed Godzilla. Because it reminded me of when max died...when they showed the close up of Godzilla's eyes.

I know, that sounds stupid.

I have to keep busy. Its been a month since Max passed.

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April I still have my Bear's bed right where it has always been on the living room floor. I have no intention of moving it anywhere. I have a toy of his and his blankie under my pillow also. It has been two years.
I would make it crystal clear to your family that NO ONE IS TO SET FOOT IN YOUR ROOM WHILE YOU ARE AWAY AND YOU DO NOT WISH TO COME HOME TO A NEW BUNNY. You will take care of Fluffy's things when You are ready and NOT before. One week ago today was my little Arthur's funeral. I still have his blankies in the living room - though I did move them to a shelf so his mate Jessica won't dig in them looking for him. I do not want to upset her anymore than she is already.
When my son died I had a picture of the two of us on my dresser. My ex-mother-in-law told everyone on earth plus me to put it away. I told her -"Do you think if I remove that picture that when I get up in the morning I will not remember  he died? I get comfort from looking at that photo." They just did not understand. They told me if I get upset thinking about him that I should just NOT think about him. How impossible is that? Obviously they have never Loved with a full heart.
I hope that the trip away with your sister helps to lighten your grief for a day or two at least.

Grief and grieving take time.

You are in my thoughts.
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