Larissa
I'm just three weeks into my grief of loosing my best friend Easter. Lots of sadness and my mind just is all over the place. I try to sit and be peaceful,to try to really feel that love in my heart and from him,but with emotions it's tough. Just wondering what does everyone else do to feel close to their baby? I sometimes write,and journal,look at pictures,hold his things etc. What makes you feel close and connected? I feel so far away from him sometimes,looking for suggestions
Larissa
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jimmy17
Hiya, I started to write a memory book a couple of days after losing Jim, my dog. which helps. Almost 6 weeks in I`m still writing, but somedays I actually write to him, telling him how much I miss him, what I`ve been doing today, just little things really.
 His blanket is still on our bed and his toys are still on the sofa - I think its just anything to make them feel close - but its in our heart that they are still alive. Though I do know what you mean when you say they are so far away. Our grief is still very new, each day is different - just do whatever you need, talk to them, even have a good old weep.
                Hugs to you, Jackie. xx
  









J Taylor
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Larissa
Love the idea of a memory book, my greatest fear is I'll forget all the tiny details that only I would love about him. The things that made me love him so much.
Larissa
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jimmy17
Larissa, get a book and start writing - its amazing how many things pop into your mind, I`d be in the car and something would just come into my head - things I thought I`d forgotten, so as soon as I got home, down it went into my book.  Though you`ll never ever forget Easter, he is part of your very heart and soul, it is nice to read things back. xx
J Taylor
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stellasMOM
Larissa, first of all, much love to you for your loss of Easter. I understand the grief is overwhelming and as much as you try to remember the good and fun times, it is still so raw & every memory hurts. My husband & I are 25 days out from letting our Beautiful Girl go and I think this week has been as hard as that moment she took her last breath. So I truly send you love and courage as you walk through every moment, because they are tough. The journal is a wonderful idea and my niece sent us one, but I haven't been able to start it yet. We have her ashes in a beautiful box next to her brother & I held them both today and talked to them about the snow here in North Carolina and remembering how funny they were when it snowed. I sleep with the stuffed purple cow we got her @ Christmas. I too, have not been able to put away all of her beds...she had them all over the house. She couldn't get on the bed anymore, even w/steps, she didn't want to try. So we all do little things to remember and to ease our path to healing. Our Stella was very very special and since I never had children, she really was the perfect daughter any mother would want to love. Be gentle with yourself and allow all the different emotions to flow. We need to grieve in our own way and we can own that. Peace to you and I know all of our babies are together and we will one day meet them again and OH THE JOY!!!

(((HUGS))) Stella's mom
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Larissa
It's so funny,I actually got a beautiful journal for Christmas! Before Easter passed away. I have a gratitude journal that I write in every day,but was wondering what to do with the is new one! It's perfect! What a great way to feel so connected,and like you won't loose those little memories. Even if I write "I miss you" in it a thousand times,it's getting it out from being bottled up. I'm trying I really am,for Easter, to go through this and experience every ugly part,and every beautiful part. Try to be brave and honor our friendship by not letting his death be so much of a tragedy that I'm not grateful for every second. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do,but man we were awesome together and I don't want anything to ruin those memories. Some days are so bad without him,but I'm trying to keep what we had alive forever,somehow some way. Really.....love never dies right!
Larissa
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jimmy17
Larissa, that is so right, love never dies, even though we can`t see our little friends, they still have a special way of connecting with us. I write silly little things to Jim, even what the weather is like! But that special relationship we had is still there - just like you had with Easter. The love we shared is way too special to leave us, it`s just a different way of connecting with them. The love we shared with our friends is too big and impossible to ever go away. Jackie. x
J Taylor
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Larissa
Thank you Jackie. I see it as a bit of a test or challenge if you will. Like the relationship has gone to the next level and we just have to keep it alive and stay connected in different ways now. So glad you all understand
Larissa
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camunki
Hi Larissa, i do so many things to stay close to my babies, i have lost 2 last year and that is about, for me, the worst that it can get, 2 dogs in an 11 month period.

I have fur clippings of both of them, wrapped in saran wrap with a lil' silk ribbon wrapped around them.

I have their ashes that i can pick up any time and hold, which i do this nightly.

I have the blanket that my baby was on, and i sleep with her "grungy blanket" nightly and will not wash it for a long time, if ever.

I even sleep with the collar that she was last wearing, its a thin collar and it reminds me so much of her, almost looks like a thin necklace on me.

I even had a necklace made with my pets names on the back, and put in a small amount of ashes and sealed this up and wear this almost everyday.

I talk to my babies daily, i look up to the sky and talk with them, and let them know how much i love them.

I journal every day, and will do this for one year, writing my feelings down, this seems to help so much

And i have so many pictures, one for the urn, one for a collage over the fireplace and a big photo album with tons of pictures.

All of these things, yes i have alot of things that i do to keep the memory alive..........this all helps me, to feel that closer connection to my babies, when they left me a chunk of my heart was taken. I am going on a bit over 7 weeks and still cry daily and know i will for a long time. I miss thier physical being.

Cam

Cam


 
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Larissa
Cam,I'm so sorry you lost both in such a short time. I can't immagine how you must feel. I'm clinging to everything and anything I can to keep Easters memory alive. I feel like I'm falling and just reaching up scratching and clawing at any shred I can. It feels like a fight sometimes. Moving forward is part of the process,but I'm resisting. I'll never move on,but forward is inevitable. Living in the past is unhealthy,so I'm fumbling trying to learn to live in the present with their presence in my heart
Larissa
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camunki
Larissa: thanks for your kind words, and yes losing 2 in on year eleven months apart, is by far the worst for me. That why i keep their memory *alive* with pictures, necklaces, I still keep their urns on my coffee table so i can pick them up and hold them every nite, doing this makes me feel close to them. Down the road I will spread Munki's ashes at the park i used to walk her at, can't do it now cuz there is too much snow, plus i am not ready.

Three weeks for you is still very raw, do one small thing a day to keep your Easter's memory alive, that will be moving forward in tiny baby steps. And yes the process of grieving is a hard road to be on, good words you wrote.......live in the present with their presence in your heart!!

Cam

Cam


 
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