Nikib
I never thought I would look to a forum for comfort but seeing other people in the same boat makes me feel less ashamed of crying so much.

On sep 30th my 12 year old lab, Sammy developed bloat. His stomach turned and the emergency veterinarian said that his chances of survival were slim to none. Given his age and Cushing's syndrome, 'my husband and I made the decision to euthanize. I can't get this image out of my head. I can't stop replaying the last hour of his life. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt and anguish. I have 2 other fur babies but my bond with Sammy was the strongest. I don't know how to just be and just accept that this huge part of my life will not be returning home. How can I cope in a healthy way? I miss my baby boy so much, the pit in my stomach is so deep.
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Daisypat
I wish I had an easy answer but I too am struggling with this type of loss. My Yorkie Daisy was euthanized two weeks ago. At first I cried all day but as the weeks go on , I cry when I let myself-I keep busy and try not to have too much down time. I felt guilty thinking " did I do everything I could?" The most unselfish act I could do was to let her go. She gave me so much in her 15 years and I try to focus on that. I will never forget her or get another dog. I do not want to feel this way again. I wish I had words of great comfort but maybe knowing you are not alone will help
Pat Bodak
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camunki
Nikib I am so sorry for the loss of your Sammy, this is still all new fresh and raw for you. Sammy was part of your family and i am sure waking up and going to bed are sometimes the hardest parts of your day. 

I lost two of my precious babies in 2015 and have had a hard time healing.  What i do is journal each day about my pet Munki who was almost 14 years when she crossed the bridge, and Daizy was just over 9 years when she crossed. Journaling helps me sort out my feelings. Heck, I even talk out loud each day as I walk my other dogs and let my babies know how much i love them. I still haven't moved Munki's bowl off the counter, I just cannot do this at this time. And her bed and blanket that she last layed on has not moved. These are precious memories for me. I even ordered a necklace and put tiny cremation ashes into the necklace to always have my babies close to my heart. My path was a long one, it took me 9 months and 3 weeks and 3 days to stop crying each and every day. I really just missed my girls, and the tears showed how i felt. Finally i changed the tears to remembering the happy memories. I still cry from time to time, but i am healing in a good way.

Please keep posting about your Sammy it helps to talk about him and know that you are not alone. And if you get flashbacks of "that his last night" just tell yourself to stop. I have had many, many flashbacks of that night thru the months after i lost my baby and i think its natural to think back...but again, the thoughts do sadden us even more.

Please know you are not alone!

Cam


 
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Nikib
Walking into the house and going up to our room are the hardest parts for me. My husband tried to remove his bed and collar from our room and I flipped out. His intentions are nothing but good but I felt a tinge of guilt for trying to erase a piece of him. I haven't moved any of his things. I hear him everywhere. I keep expecting to see him around the corner. It hurts my heart so much.
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middleway
I'm so sorry for your loss, I euthanized my Lab (Max) about 2 months ago due to age-related issues (he was 14).  The pain and grief felt as deep as the ocean.  And feelings of guilt, and second-guessing myself about my decision.  But if I kept him going any longer -- holding up his hind legs while he ate, letting him pee into a belly wrap because of his incontinence, not being able to go for a walk -- it would have been for me.  I let him go, for him.  As hard as it was, it was the least I could do.

It sounds like you had an awesome 12 years with Sammy, no doubt he's happily running without pain now and thanking you.  I know it doesn't make it any easier.  It didn't after I said goodbye to Max.  But my guilty feelings and last-day flashbacks are getting replaced with a calm peace and gratitude that we had that long time together.
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