Dalidog
Today is Jan 1, 2015.  Last year on this date I would not have recognized the person writing this today.  Last year I was full of joy and promise and loved my life, my Dali and everything life had to offer.  I worked hard and saved money, planned for the future, even bought wrapping paper and Christmas decorations on Jan 1, 2014 for the next Christmas---including a Santa hat for my Dali.   I packed all these up with the decorations I took down on Jan 1, 2014 to have for Christmas 2014.  I looked forward to the year ahead..including the things I always did like "Bark in the Park" and "Pet Blessings".  I walked a lot with Dali and people in my neighborhood even called me "dog walker".

Things were okay until Sept 27, 2014 when my world changed.  When Dali died I became a different person.  Smiling is rare, crying is OFTEN, and I view the world quite differently.  I find myself always saying Why?  or What for? now instead of taking things head on.  All the Christmas stuff I bought last year stayed in the boxes and never left the closet this year.  Nothing new was purchased, as I really don't plan on having Christmas again in that material sense.  I feel I see the world through a different set of eyes now.  I don't plan.  I live day by day and don't think of the future.  I can't.  I am just trying to survive.  I had never been on antidepressants, never had trouble sleeping, but now both are true.  The weirdest thing is that I feel I am in a "fog" all the time.  What happens, happens and none of it upsets me anymore as I don't think most of it is important in the scheme of things.  I think often of my Dali...she asked for NOTHING.  She didn't need to go shopping, buy clothes, go on trips, out to eat, have fancy things, wait on the future.  She lived day to day and she had all she needed.  I try to be more like that now.  It is hard to explain.  All I know is the person who existed left with Dali and I am different.   So this is a different year....  another day..  I give thanks for what is here and I give thanks to my Dali for being here when she was.  Life goes on...in one way or another.  I miss her

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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JaspersMom
Dalidog, I read your post with such tears in my eyes, and I so understand how you feel about trying to begin a new year without your most precious girl by your side. I also would never have recognized the person I am today, it seems as though this grief takes away so much of our hope and promise for the future, so many of us are going into this new year in what I call survival mode, just going from one day to the next and doing just what is absolutely necessary, but not really living, and certainly not feeling any of the happiness or contentment we felt when our sweet babies were right here with us.

I wish I had the answer to help ease some of your sadness and help you find that light at the end of this awful tunnel, but I am still searching for mine. I know how very much you miss your beautiful Dali, your words are so filled with the special love and caring you have for her, and I really do know how you feel, I miss my Jasper so very much that sometimes it seems as though this ache in my heart will never ever go away. I know how hard it is to go to bed each night and they are not there, I know how hard it is to wake up every morning and they are not there, I know the deep pain of sometimes forgetting for just a moment and looking around the corner for them, and they are not there, and the silence of their absence is so very profound.

Take care and know that you are not alone in this, and thank you for writing and sharing your beloved Dali with us, she must be one special little girl to have a momma who loves her so very much. I know your sweet Dali has sent you several signs that she is still so close, as has my Jasper. How wonderful that they love us so much that our bonds with them are so strong, that they will find a way to break through that curtain to try to help heal our broken hearts. I am so sorry you are hurting, but just remember that it will not always be like this, when the time comes and we are reunited with them, all those shattered pieces of our hearts will come together again, and that huge part of us that has been missing for all this time, will once again be found, never to be lost again. Hugs to you and your beautiful Dali.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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ahartofilis
Dali's Momma, My heart is right there with you!  I feel so much of the same way. Dali was so special to you. This sort of grief has a life of its own. I wish I had the right words of comfort but sometimes I don't think anything really helps for long. I see the heartache and pain that so many of us are going through. I feel so much for those that have lost their special companions. Endurance can bring Hope sometimes! I do believe that. I am thinking of you and Dali and my prayers are with you, hugs from me and Coco to you and Dali.....  Sincerely, Andrea
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Lilimarie
Dalidog, you are not alone With the way you feel. I lost my happiness and positive nature since Benni's horrible accident. I cry all the time, some days are the worst. I'm so thankful we all have this site to come to and support eachother. I wish I had the words to heal you, but I dont. I can't even calm my own heart. I have never been so heartbroken in my life. It hurts so badly I can't take it. But, at the end of the day, I always tell myself I have to have hope that I will see my puppy love one day and he will wag his tail fiercely and jump up and down and give me Pooch kisses again like Dali will, too. Somedays I feel like Benni might be too worried about me crying and unhappy, so those are the days I try my best to distract myself and give him some peace. Many hugs and so much love to you. I am always here if you need someone to listen.
Goodnight, Lili xoxo
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Leahbeahis
Dali's mom, you just put into words EXACTLY how I feel about my loss. It changes you and so far I have not seen any pieces of my old self return. I lost my Dad in 2011 and felt the same way then. I feel it gets worse with each loss. Like you and I have both said before, we are now just counting down the days, waiting, for our time to come so we can go to our babies and never part again. I'm so sorry that this has happened to everyone here. Life is harsh. Hugs to you.

~ Leah
~ Leah
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Dalidog
There is so much comfort on this forum, thank you everyone.  I wish no one had to feel the way we do.  No one understands my feelings like those who have experienced the same love from their forever pet.    Thank you all.  It has been raining nonstop for three days at my house.  I haven't been anywhere, but I know I need to get out.  I keep thinking of all the cold rainy days I am missing with my Dali.  I think she loved them because she knew I wouldn't be leaving the house.  I miss cooking her breakfast and sitting on the porch swing with her while she watched the world go by.  I am doing my best to adjust to this other "life".  Day by day, hour by hour, 2015 without my girl.  I will always talk to her, I know she is there.  I will get by, I am just a different person now.  I too take solace in the fact that I know we will be together again when the time is right.  Hugs to you all and thanks to Dali

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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angela_24
Reading this I see so much of myself currently. "Trying to survive." That is exactly how things are right now. Trying to go on for the rest of my family when I am in such tremendous pain. I miss my sweet Baylee just as much now as the day she passed. I know how hard it can be to find pleasure in anything anymore carrying around such guilt and hurt. Christmas was absolutely painful this year to go through and the New Year was not any easier. My heart goes out to you. I pray we all find peace somehow. I try to take it one day at a time and I keep hearing time will heal...I wish I could say I believe this. Time doesn't exactly heal pain, it just makes it where you learn to cope. It is hard to lose a great love of your life. One of the hardest loses I have ever endured. I am thankful for this forum and that there are people who care and people I can connect with. We are always here for you Dalidog. I pray things get a little easier for you. Blessings.  

"And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!" ~Charles Dickens

Angela 

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