Melissad75 Show full post »
Melissad75
This really is heartbreaking and even though I’m not crying as much I just feel so sad and empty. I keep looking at the floor where his bed used to be. I just still can’t believe he is gone. I’ve thought about doing a memory box but I still have his collar in my purse since I put it there last week after taking it off him. I feel like getting through the day is tough. I have my daughter to tend to so that helps otherwise I’d be sitting in bed all day. His death came as a shock. We knew he had heart disease and I was preparing myself for him maybe having a year or two left. When I took him to the vet last week and was told he had a mass on his spleen I was taken by surprise. Even though financially it was going to be hard I was able to get some donations from differnt organizations and was going to be able to get him the surgery. Unfortunately he took a sharp turn for the worst and did not make it. He started having seizures because his glucose levels dropped. I kept asking him for a sign and at that time I thought that was the sign he was telling me to let him go. Now I’m thinking I made the wrong choice and can’t stop thinking of the what if’s. Thank you all for listening and replying. My heart breaks for all of you that are heartbroken over the loss of your pets. Scottie was truly my soul dog and I miss him more then anything.
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stillmaudesmom80
I'm so sorry for your loss. Doing a memory box or looking at pictures might help.
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Tankie12
There is a wonderful book you can get on iBooks it’s called Heart Dog, by Roxanne Hawn. It’s under 100 pages and 6 or 7 dollars. It’s full of validation and advise for grieving. It was recommended by a very dear woman on here.
You said you have his collar in your purse. I took Tankie’s id tag and wear it in a long chain around my neck. I got it for her when she was around 3 months old. Just a red heart with her name and my phone number but she had it on till the day she died. I’ll give it back some day💞
I’m glad you have your daughter to still bring joy in your life, (hubby too) and that you don’t have a ton of empty time. But, you still need time to grieve. That’s hard in a full house. Take walks, to think and cry. This is such a painful time and I think you’re only getting a chance here and there to even begin to process this. Than we have all these holidays that are supposed to be special or fun and we just don’t feel like it! Keep checking in, keep writing and when you feel the need to go In that bathroom and cry. Take care, we’re here,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Melissad75
Thank you Tankie12, I will add that book to my list. I’ve been taking lots of long walks to help clear my head and I usually do end up crying. It’s tough walking without my buddy by my side. I am happy that while we have been here in Florida I’m not working ( taking forever to find a job here) and I was able to take Scott on lots of walls. It was his most favorite thing to do. Besides eating and hanging out with me.
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JennyTeddy
Melissad75 wrote:
Beautifully said Jenny Teddy. It’s so true with a love so strong it’s only normal we grieve so strongly as well. No one in my family really understands. I got into a huge fight with my mom today over this. We got into it because I told my dad not to talk to me after he told me I need to get over this “dog” I tried to tell him he doesn’t understand how I’m feeling and that’s fine but if you can’t be there and try to support me then don’t say anything just leave me alone. So today after my mom ( we share a house together) complained about the dog hair and slobber on her couch ( ok my dog died in my arms 2 days ago and your complaining about your couch! She told me it was horrible of me for what I said to my dad. And it’s true I need to get over this dog. I said you don’t get what he was to me. She responded yeah that’s another thing. I your relationship was not normal you were too involved. I’m like are you kidding me right now! The thing is I don’t even cry in front of her or my daughter. I go in the bathroom or go for a walk. I know I’m going on and on but I’m just so infuriated. How dare they tell me how I should be feeling! I wish I had more supportive people around me. We moved out of state and I basically have no friends here and have been pretty lonely. My dog was my rock, he keep me sane and made being here better. At least we were together. Now that’s gone forever. The only good thing is today instead of crying all day ( I still didn’t cry just not as much) I’ve been very angry. I thank god I found this group, it’s the only place where people get it and offer the support I need. Writing here helps because I can say exactly what I’m feeling and there’s no judgement. I hope today has been a better day for all of you then it has for me.



Melissad,

I apologize for such a late response. I just caught up reading through your forum.

I’m so terribly sorry that you’re surrounded by insensitive unsupportive people especially family. I’m experiencing the same with people around me. It really hurts and makes you feel even more alone and empty. My heart goes out to you and sending you warm hugs and comfort during this extremely hard time. In 3 days it will be 2 months since Teddy passed away and it hasn’t gotten easier for me, only worse. And unsupportive, insesntive people don’t make it easier criticizing and judging our grief.

Like you I don’t have any friends here, when I moved here almost 11 years ago. I moved when I was 16 and made no friends, severely bullied, so I can relate to you when you say your fur baby was your rock. No matter what you two had each other. And that’s how I feel, Teddy and I discovered a lot together, this whole town we lived in where he was born, multiple states, towns, cities, beautiful trails, he was by my side through as 16-26 almost 27. He is the only thing that has suck around, stood by my side, love and care for me unconditionally, didn’t judge me, criticize me, bully me, put me down, didn’t abandon me, ditch me. He was/is my rock, my best friend, my baby, my child, my companion, my cuddler, my adventure buddy, my laughs, my smiles, my mornings, days and night, my everything. Everything is a reminder and I mean everything. I cry everyday.

With that being said, don’t feel bad for grieving and don’t let anyone make you feel bad either. This forum is full of wonderful sweet warm kind hearted people who lost their fur babies. I know the painful heart break I’m going through and I cry hard as if it were the first day he left. My heart truly hurts for you. You’re in my thoughts. Writing does help but sometimes it’s hard. I’m thankful I found this forum too because without it I don’t know how I’d be.

Writing and sharing your memories, thoughts, feelings, emotions, venting, or sharing stories about your baby and photos does help. My heart goes out to you and sending you warm hugs. 💛
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
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Tankie12
Melissad75 wrote:
Thank you Tankie12, I will add that book to my list. I’ve been taking lots of long walks to help clear my head and I usually do end up crying. It’s tough walking without my buddy by my side. I am happy that while we have been here in Florida I’m not working ( taking forever to find a job here) and I was able to take Scott on lots of walls. It was his most favorite thing to do. Besides eating and hanging out with me.

Melissa where in Fl?
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Melissad75
Tankie, I’m in middleburg, near Jacksonville.
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Tankie12
Aww, I live all the way down in Hmstd
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Melissad75
Well anytime you feel you need a friend I’m hear to chat with.
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Tankie12
Thank you, Melissa, btw that’s my youngest daughter’s name also🦋
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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