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Doxiemom
Lillymylove, I’m really sorry you misunderstood what I was trying to say above. I’m not questioning your love for your beloved pet. You got that part of it wrong. I’m sure your struggle with grief has been very difficult. My issue was your suggestion that the writer should just go on antidepressants . They are very strong drugs and someone would need to be very careful using them.
I guess you got really upset with me and that caused you to send me a very strongly worded message . And despite your complete misunderstanding of what I was trying to communicate I do wish you well in getting over your loss .
By the way if you actually knew me you would know I’m not what you called me. Wow reading that e mail really woke me up!!
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Missing_Brighton
I_Will_Love_You_Forever wrote:
Doxiemom and BlairS
Thank you for listening.  I won't take any antidepressants. Personal preference.  Too many side effects. I don't want to get stuck with irreversible side effects. Plus you build an immunity and you have to change up and sometimes add a boost pill.  I have anxiety and sleep problem. I want to take something as needed.  I worked in the psychiatric department of a hospital for shrinks and psychologists. These meds are hit or miss if they work. I am still grieving due to the nature of my loss. It causes me to have trouble sleeping.  I'll take something when I need it, I'll meditate, exercise, try to eat better, keep busy, and work on it. I write letters to my little guy.  It's still very hard for me. Everyone's healing time is different.  I just hope there really is a Rainbow Bridge or some kind of afterlife where we are reunited. The only thing that gives me some hope. 
~Parker's Mom
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Missing_Brighton
Dear Parker's Mom,
Someone just sent this to me, as I too am having a difficult time missing my boy. I thought it was lovely and thought it might give you something to think about with all the love you still hold inside:

A DOG's LAST WILL & TESTIMENT

Before humans die, they write their last will and testament, giving their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask…

To a poor and lonely stray, I’d give my happy home; my bowl and cozy bed, soft pillow and all my toys; the lap, which I loved so much; the hand that stroked my fur; and the sweet voice that spoke my name.

I’d will to the sad, scared, shelter dog the place I had in my human’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds.

So, when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and the pain is more than I can stand.”

Instead, go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and give my place to him.

This is the only thing I can give…

The love I left behind.

– Author Unknown

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
My husband dropped our dog off on his way to his own dental appt. That was on a Monday. This coming Monday will be 6 months to the day that my sweet Parker passed from a "routine" dental and my husband has a dental appt again.  I'm already feeling the reminders.  I don't know how I will get through that day. I have to avoid looking at the day and date and ignore his dental appt. I might have to go out for the day as an escape.  Hopefully it will be nice out.  I hope I'm not a wreck. Why does the 6/24 have to be on a Monday, too, like 12/24?  Why does he have to have a dentist appt, too?  Too many reminders.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
It's almost the end of June. Time goes by fast. It always seems just like yesterday I lost my little sweetheart. This week I've been having many "Missing Parker Moments" crying buckets of tears. 
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
I am missing Parker so very much. I am afraid to be around when my other 2 dogs begin to have health issues or if something tragic happens. I am truly afraid now. I was not like this before and did not think about it.  I was so naive to think my dogs would live till their expected life span up to 20 years. I thought they all would outlive me and I would have to provide for them if I went first. 

I am in a lot of pain missing my sweet Parker. I know he should be here. I suggested that vet. I wish I never knew his name. I feel so much to blame. I'm not handling this very well these days. I led him to disaster.  He was robbed of a life.  His unassuming life.  Never asking for anything except food, water, kisses, and squeaky toys.  Giving more love than he wanted. 
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
This song is s message for that charlatan vet who I trusted. He failed the legal system. This is also on behalf all of you with a similar situation.
There are also wonderful vets who care for our pets as if they were their own children and we should be grateful for them. I have one now. 

Smiling Faces (song by The Undisputed Truth)

Smiling faces sometimes
Pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces
Of the evil that lurks within (can you dig it?)

Smiling faces, smiling faces, sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof
Oh, oh, yeah

Let me tell you
The truth is in the eyes 'cause the eyes don't lie, amen
Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down my friend
So, hear me when I'm saying

Smiling faces, smiling faces, sometimes, yeah
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof
(Beware) beware of the handshake
That hides the snake (can you dig it, can you dig it?)

I'm a-tellin' you beware of the pat on the back
It just might hold you back
Jealousy, (jealousy) misery (misery) envy (envy)
I tell you you can't see behind

Smiling faces, smiling faces, sometimes
Hey, they don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof
Hey, your enemy won't do you no harm
(Rap on) 'cause you'll know where he's comin' from
Don't let the handshake and the smile fool ya
Take my advice, I'm only tryin' to school ya

Smiling faces, smiling faces, sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes

Songwriters: Barrett Strong/Norman Whitfield
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Sayuri
I too am regretting taking my little girl to the vet. She was supposed to come home. She shouldn't have died alone, in fear, because the vet made it sound as if it was what I should do if I wanted to save her life. When I got her body back with her records, I saw that there was no fever, her lungs were clear and that it was only hours after we left her there that she started having trouble breathing. That's because she was anxious, not because of pneumonia. My Baby was semiferal, she was probably terrified. I will never forgive myself. Paid them thousands to have her die alone.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
I hear you Sayuri.  I believe my little boy was petrified and horrified. I had nightmares of him crying and feeling abandoned by us.  When our animals become frightened, their vitals go off the charts -- blood pressure, glucose, heart rate, etc. Vets know this and they are supposed to keep our pets from suffering. That's no condition to keep an animal in without alerting the owner and to seek advice. I would have told them to abort the procedure had I known this. It was written in his notes he was in fear, but not told to me.  They knew my dog was nervous beforehand from 2 other visits and they made no provision or plan.  I have regrets like you do.  It's a painful thing to deal with. 

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. Keep coming to this forum for comfort.  

~ Parker's Mom

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
This is a story of a little girl who had a lot to live for, but her life was cut very short.  Her name was Angel. She was a sweet little Angel.  A beautiful little girl.  She was only a puppy.  Part Dachshund and part Chihuahua. Sweet and innocent.

It is believed she was born somewhere in Louisiana because that's where she was thrown from a moving car when she just was a puppy.  It was a horrible thing to witness, but someone was able to take Angel to a vet so they could try to save her.  Being part Chihuahua, and still so young, she still had her soft spot on her head that was possibly still open and most likely suffered damage from this heinous act.  She was treated and sent to a shelter. She appeared to be holding her own and maybe would make it through this horrific crime.  She eventually made her way up to a rescue where I volunteered.  A nice family adopted her. At first she appeared to be doing well, but then she had trouble with her gait, and didn't seem right. It was determined her brain may have been damaged. The family gave her back to the rescue so they could  get treatment for her.

I met this little girl.  She was adorable.  She had to wear a little diaper. She was give medications to try to get her better.  I couldn't let her stay kenneled.  I volunteered to foster her. I took her home to meet my own 3 adopted fosters, all males (Parker was one them. He passed away tragically last winter).  My boys loved her.  I thought maybe socialization could help her. I wanted to help her get better. 

She had some good days, but then the bad days followed. She began to regress.  Sometimes she would be confused. Her eyes were glassy. She would stumble and go in circles. I could see she was not doing as well as I hoped.  She had many bad days. Falling down, and wailing and crying at all hours of the day and night.  She was confused and her brain was not working properly.  It was unfair anymore to let her live like this. The rescue owner, our vet, and I came to the conclusion that Angel would be suffering and would not make it. I wanted so badly for her to live a normal life. It would never. She was too brain damaged.  

The rescue owner and I brought her to our vet.  It was the last night we saw Angel.  Our vet reluctantly put Angel out of her pain and misery and put her to sleep.  I waited outside with the rescue owner.  We cried so hard and for so long. We must have been there for a couple of hours, crying, and crying, and crying.  I will never forget that evening. 

We cried for Angel.  No one else.  I have often thought about that little girl and the devastating events she endured.  I prayed for her.  She is at peace.  I miss her.  I kept her little collar.

I hope this story is an inspiration to you to find it in your heart to foster a needy pet, even if it is for a short while so they can feel loved during their last moments here, such as with Angel. I gave her as much love as I gave to my own dogs.  I wanted her last days to be happy for whatever she could understand.

I've attached some pics of this delightful little sweetie. 

Rest in peace, Angel. I think about you often.  I will see you again. 

My dear Parker, please watch over Angel and keep her good company.


202Angel30pct.jpg 
199Angel25pct.jpg 
P1010204Angel25pct.jpg 
P1010209Angel25pct.jpg
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anang
Thank you all for sharing your stories of love and grief.

The two best suggestions I have for coping with grief: Write your beloved a letter or keep a journal for them. Seek support from this forum.

Other suggestions, which I have not necessarily tried: seek spiritual support, talk with a friend, make a shrine or scrapbook for your beloved, cry, cry, cry, go outside, take care of yourself, get outdoors, volunteer, get a punching bag, see an animal psychic (this one I did try, and with very positive results), make a mix tape of your favorite songs (music is amazingly therapeutic), dance, take a day for yourself, watch a funny movie....

Again those are just suggestions.

Sending you healing thoughts,
Katie
K. Unger
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
While trying to cope with my loss and heal, I've been looking for signs, trying to keep busy, and listening to music that puts me in another time and another place.  I just read that the following song was composed by Charlie Chaplin.  A surprise to me.  Nearly 20 years later, lyrics were added by songwriters John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons. This first version is sung by Nat King Cole. Maybe this song will put a smile on our faces as most of us have been so sad.  The song makes me smile with its musical tone the meaningful lyrics. I hope you get some comfort from this, too.

Wishing you peace and comfort.
~ Parker's Mom






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I_Will_Love_You_Forever
We hope we may see our loved ones again.  Although there's no proof, we can still believe, wish, and hope for it.  Maybe this will keep our hope going, and someday it will come true. 






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