Crystalbump
I have an appointment in 4 hours to put my boy Oreo down. I feel so sick. I know it is time. But I can't stand it! It hurts so much! I need to stay with him, but my teenage daughter's don't want to go, and I feel torn at needing to be with them through this too. I am just hurting so much! I needed to write it down somewhere to let it out.
Crystal Bump
Quote 0 0
camunki
I am so sorry about what you have to do with your Oreo.  In these circustances we have to think of "their well being and their health" as we do not want them in any pain. 

I had to do the same many years back, I knew it was my Daizy's time, and it was so hard knowing that she would
be transistioning to the Rainbow Bridge and I won't see her again (until our time is right to be reunited).  It is the hardest thing anyone would want to go thru. Please stay close to your Oreos side, and love him and talk to him til
the very end. He loves you in return.

Please know I am so sorry for all of this, and the transitioning part is the hardest. Keep posting about your Oreo and have his legacy live on.

My heart and prayers go your way

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
GEMINIXX69
Sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that everyone here on this forum knows how you feel.  I have found a lot of comfort here and I hope you do as well. I know it will be hard on all of you in the coming days but you'll get through it. Prayers for your family...
Linda L.
Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Crystal,

I am so sorry for what your beloved "Oreo" and you and yours are experiencing.

We are with you in comradeship and spirit during these challenging and difficult times.

They say that: "When we agree to end our beloved's pain and suffering we agree to take that pain and suffering onto yourself. And then we process it through our grief." We will be here to help you through. 

There is no way for you to know what your beloved "Oreo" is feeling internally. Our pets will rarely show pain, discomfort and suffering to us as they are instinctively designed not to do so, as they may be ousted from their pack or colony or attacked if they show any weakness out in the wild. They will grin and bear it.

They also say: "You will know when the times comes."  And "Better a week to soon then a week to late."

I had to make the choice that you are facing in the end for my boy. A cat named "Marmalade" as I could no longer allow him to suffer, be in pain and continue to deteriorate. He was becoming a shadow of his former noble and regal self. I could not allow that to happen on my watch, simply because I knew I would be heartbroken and lonely. I had to put HIS needs first. I had to let him go. I had to have courage and make that decision for him. No matter the price I had / have to pay. I owed him that much.

Just pray for mercy at this time. You will know if you are doing the right thing. The answer with be in your heart and in your mind. 

Godspeed. We are praying for you.

Kind regards,
James
Quote 1 0
P_Mom
My heart and big hugs go out to you. Most difficult decision but like the others state, we have to think of their quality and well being above our own needs.  Hoping you were able to share these last few precious hours together.  It sounds like you're torn being with him or your daughters.  In my experience, I'm so grateful I was able to be with my boy during those final moments at the very end.  While the most difficult thing I've ever done, I personally needed to be there for him and feel it has helped me in my grief.  

Sending love and comfort your way 
Jennifer
Quote 0 0
Runningman66
I must admit the last image I have is holding my boys head in my hands when he left this world but I just hope he heard every word I said to him as he slipped away as his eyes were already closed due to the relaxing drug he was given and that was without doubt the most traumatic experience of my life then leaving his still body on the floor as I left like a piece of trash still haunts me to this day.That is why I can never go through this pain ever again so getting another dog like everybody keeps telling me will not be happening for quite some time and maybe never.
Love to all
Runningman xx
Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Runnigman,

Your boy was never left anywhere by you like a piece of trash. That is just your grief speaking. You were with your boy at the very end. You showed great courage making the decision that you did in order to help him avoid pain and suffering. And you helped him to make a peaceful transition. You sent him off well. Please do not be so hard on yourself. He knew that he was loved, cherished and adored by you to the very end.

Kind regards,
James
Quote 0 0
Franko
I must admit the last image I have is holding my boys head in my hands when he left this world but I just hope he heard every word I said to him as he slipped away as his eyes were already closed due to the relaxing drug he was given and that was without doubt the most traumatic experience of my life then leaving his still body on the floor as I left like a piece of trash still haunts me to this day.That is why I can never go through this pain ever again so getting another dog like everybody keeps telling me will not be happening for quite some time and maybe never.
Love to all
Runningman xx

I feel as bad for you as I do for myself. You did what you had to do. Holding his head while he left this world is heart wrenching. I did the same and I'm glad I was there to do it. Lots of people tell me they couldn't stand to be there for it. If I weren't there I would have regretted it the rest of my life. I know he would want me there holding him when he took his last breath. Its amazing how we all feel guilt for doing what we know we have to and have no choice. I'm a grown 51 year old, 300lb man and I have cried  every single day since he left this world! My kids are 12, 21 & 25 and it was the first time they had ever seen me cry. I balled like a baby. re that is something that will stay with them forever.
Hope you find piece, not sure when or if I ever will,
Frank
Quote 0 0
Runningman66
Thanks thanks Franco and James for your kind words.Like you Frank I’m in my 50’s but with no children so the loneliness is felt even more as both my parents are elderly and I do not want to bother them at their age.I’m now taking his urn to bed with me every night now where I talk to him until I drop off but I still can’t take it in my beautiful boy is in that small wooden box😢

Runningman 
Quote 1 0
roseblue1
I  take my cat Monty's ashes to bed with me every night and tell him I love him and I hope he is happy where he is. 

I thought people might think me strange for doing that...but James said he did the same as me and it brings me great comfort in doing so.

Getting Monty's ashes back felt like he was back home again with me and my daughter...Monty was recued at five years old and he was a Maine Coon who's life span is around 12 years but Monty was going into his seventeenth year...and the day I picked him up I said to him that he will never want for anything...and he did not.

As the vet said when the time came for him to leave us he was an ''old boy''...and knowing the life he had makes me feel so much better...he brought me and my daughter pure joy and love...we could not have asked for more. Loving Monty for an eternity would not have been enough.

So when you go to bed dream happy dreams of ''Oreo'' and feel the love.

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
Quote 0 0
Ell
I don't know how to start this or even if this is the right place. I help my dear 16 y.o. Shakespeare go yesterday morning. It was at home. The vet was kind as could be. Shakespeare had already put himself on my bed. I think I have hardly stopped crying since waking up yesterday hours beforehand. We think he had a stroke about a month ago - he was suddenly ataxic (uncoordinated walking and balance. It would wax and wane. He started gaining weight, but I did started hydrating him as his kidney values were increasing a little. He was controlled hyperthyroid, but that's eventually progressive with added on cardiac/renal involvement. I know the medical prognosis was grim. He could hardly walk-declining rapidly in the last week. I know it was time. I held him in my arms, talking to him through sedation. But I cannot get a grip on how crushingly painful this feels. I can't talk about it because I come to pieces. My other fur child still needs attention (18 yrs old - cognitive decline/deaf). And I just can't even take care of myself - I have barely eaten the last 2 days; not interested. And I sit here in his spot, with his blanket over me, desperate for him to still be here (but well). My rational brain just can't take over. Please tell me these waves will space out and be less intense. 
Ell
Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade
Dear Ell,

I am very sorry and saddened to read of your loss. You can see in your words just how much you loved your "Shakespeare."

Yes, your grief will begin to space out over time. They say that "grief is like a wave." At times it swells around our ankles, and then rises up to our shins and knees and then reaches up to our waists. And then at times it rises up to and over our chests. And then goes even higher at times, up to our necks and under our chins. And then at times it can completely engulf us. Covers us. Pulls us down under. All we can do is ride it out. Wait for the tide of grief to recede. And it will every time. And then these tides of grief will become less frequent.

The key is to just continue to travel through time. Your mind and body have a built in healing mechanism. It is in each of us. All we have to do is continue to breath. And we are healing every second. It takes time, but it does happen.

They also say that "when we showed our beloved's mercy we agree to then take on their pain and suffering onto ourselves. Their pain and suffering and anguish is transfered over to us. And we process it through our grief. That is the bargain we make." This is what you are experiencing. What so many of us are enduring.

We are with you in comradeship and your Shakespeare is with you in spirit...always.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
Quote 1 0
Ell
Thank you for your very kind and comforting words James. Thank you to everyone here as well. There has been a little grace today. Thank you for "listening" yesterday - reading back, I see I could not even be articulate. I know I am fortunate to have been able to hold him through the end, in a place he felt safe and comfortable, speak to him and reassure him to his last heartbeat. I also know the oh so heavy grief is ours to carry - it would not be so if we had not loved so deeply. I miss Shakespeare EVERY moment and am sure, when his little box arrives, it will sit by my bed for a long time.

You all are in my thoughts and prayers as well as your dear ones.
Sincere and heartfelt condolences,
Ell 
Ell
Quote 0 0
Lis84
Isn't it the worst thing ever having to make an appointment to put your loved one to sleep! we did this 2 weeks ago and had to wait 3 hours. Watching the clock tick and trying to hold it together is awful. I said my goodbyes at home, and my husband made the awful drive to the vet and held him until he passed. He is still processing this and constantly talking about it.
I've found talking about him, having photos of him around, planting a tree for him and acknowledging signs from him are helping me. ( the latest is, in the middle of the night his shampoo bottle fell in the laundry and there's no real explanation). I also strongly believe he is in spirit and happy and healthy. He had a mini stroke and his quality of life was not good.
The grief is awful, they will never be forgotten.
Quote 2 0
Ell
Hi Lis84 - it IS awful to make the appt. I had a Hospice Vet at the house and am glad for that, but the appt was about 26 hours beforehand. Remembering that HE knew nothing of it and that he departed with dignity, in the peaceful comfort of home, in my arms. I am grateful to have had  that. I can't speak much of him yet though - the pictures help a little. The other kitty does as well--she is suddenly more spry and is, without a doubt, enjoying more attention. But the grief is still very very heavy.
Ell
Quote 0 0