Merlysmum, as everyone else has said, I am so sorry you are going through this terrible gut wrenching loss. We lost the love of our life, our baby boy Hastings, Wed morning, October 11 2017. We literally do not know how to continue on with life. We have no other children human or otherwise and our home feels so empty. My mother keeps suggesting I go to the Dr and get some medication because I am so depressed but like you, I am trying to avoid such things. My husband and I are thinking of ways we will improve ourselves/our lives as a way to honor the precious soul that is our Hastings. We feel we need SOMETHING to help us get through this and doing something positive and healthy seems a good way to say, "Hastings, our dearest one, we do this good thing in memory of you". I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too odd. We are just so lost. Hastings was 18 1/2 when he died but we wanted him here with us forever. We will see our precious child in Heaven some day. I am praying for you to have peace and comfort, Merlysmum, and everyone here. My heart goes out to you. It really does. Take care.
"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it" ~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~