YessilovesHazel
Last night I lost my beautiful Cocker Spaniel, Hazel. We had to put her down because she had an infection in her abdomen and there was only 10% chance of her making it out of an $8000 surgery. My final goodbye before my dad took her to the animal hospital was the worst. I had her for 13 years, ever since she was a puppy. She slept in my room every night and was there to comfort me whenever I was happy, sad or bored. I don’t know how to continue with my life. I cannot stop crying or thinking about what happened. I know that I will never be the same again. A piece of my heart was taken from me.
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msweet13
I am sorry to hear about your loss of Hazel. When I lost my Brutus 6 weeks ago, someone told me that we hurt so they won't have to. I am still crying and I know I will never be the same again. Please know that you are not alone and your feelings are very normal. Everyone on this site is going through exactly what you are going through right now. Some just recently and others farther along in their grief journey. And it is a journey. I wish I could say something magical that will take away your pain but I do not know the words. Please find comfort to know that you will find friends here and they will give you the support, warmth, and kindness you need to start your healing. Again, I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Hazel and I send you warm hugs and blessings for comfort.
Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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xxcesarxx
msweer13 thanks for your kind words to everyone. 🤗
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YessilovesHazel
Thank you so much msweet13. Your words made me feel more relaxed. I appreciate it.
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Sooz
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You are grieving, the loss is overwhelming, and as you said, a piece of your heart was taken from you. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and during those times of overwhelming grief, try to take slow, deep breaths, and know Hazel's sweet spirit is still a part of you.
Heaven is the place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.
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Boots_McGraw
So many strangers here that you do not know are crying with you, because we understand, and we care.
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YessilovesHazel
Thank you Sooz and Boots_McGraw. Truly means a lot.
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dachsiemom
I was deeply moved by the post about the loss of your beautiful Spaniel, Hazel.  You are in the deep grief stage now, and all you can do is get through it.  I know from personal experience what you are going through.  I lost my 15 year old dachshund a month ago, and I still cry about him.  This is the third time I have lost a pet that was very important to me.  I do hope to get another puppy when I am ready, perhaps in a few months.  I will not allow my present grief to cancel out the many years of joy I had with Brandon.  
As I'm sure others have told you, grief comes in waves.  At first the waves are often and intense; as time goes on the waves become less frequent and easier to handle.  Do not be afraid of sorrow; it is a very difficult but sacred thing.  Let the tears come.  They are helping you to recover.  You may feel that you are going crazy, but you are not.  You are the kind of person who is capable of becoming very attached to an animal, and in my opinion those are the best people. 

Moira - remembering Brandon
"Better lo'ed ye canna be. Will ye no' come back again?"
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YessilovesHazel
Thank you so much dachsiemom. It has not been easy but I have been receiving signs that my dear Hazel is still with us and that has been making me feel more at peace. I know that there will be days where I won’t be able to control it and I’ll just break down but it’s totally normal. I am so sorry for your loss. They are both having a blast in doggy heaven! Much love.
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kittyspawpa
I'm WK+35 (Without Kitty for 35 (days)).

The passage of time is relentless ... I can honestly say when I lost Kitty to liver disease, I had zero desire for life as Kitty was a large part of my core for 18 years. But as the common kind words on this site suggest, you do get through it. My crying has become less frequent and I am now dwelling much less on the events at the end of March, choosing to remember how much I loved Kitty and how she returned that love in ways no human could have ever done.

A big milestone for me was putting up Kitty's picture frame, with paw prints, photo and ashes (hidden behind the picture). It hangs near my bed and every morning and evening I am reminded of my sweet, precious baby girl. And, instead of bawling, I find myself smiling, and speaking to her memory as if she was still here. She's not of course but it's not helpful to run from the great memories but rather to embrace them. At some point, I will stop counting the days she's been gone but rather counting the days she was with me.

We need to take as long as we need to grieve. And know that at some point our grieving of death will give way to our celebration of life. I send comforting thoughts to all who are in the early throes of loss.

Charles



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Kilinoe7
Sorry for your loss. I had to put my baby to sleep 4 days ago. She was 14 years old and I too, had her since she was a puppy. The absolute worst pain I’ve ever felt and continue to feel. You are not alone in your grief. I find pockets of happiness again, when I imagine my Hina at rainbow bridge, happy and waiting for me. I’m sure her and your Hazel are having a blast there.
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dachsiemom
Charles, I love your point about counting the days she was with you instead of counting the says since she has been gone.  My Brandon died a little over a month ago, and I find that I am just starting to have some happy thoughts about his life as I continue to grieve his death.  My sympathy to you and to all here who are in mourning.  -Moira
Moira - remembering Brandon
"Better lo'ed ye canna be. Will ye no' come back again?"
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YessilovesHazel
I agree with you 100% Charles. My Hazel has been showing me signs that she’s still with me and that has brought me so much peace and I’m feeling a little better now. I hope everyone going through grief here gets the peace that they need.
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YessilovesHazel
Killinoe7 I’m sorry for your loss. She will always be with you just as my Hazel will always be with me.
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myangel1
I totally get what you're feeling. I had my angel for 14 years and I had to let her go about a month ago. There will always be a hole in my heart that cannot be filled. I hope you start feeling peace soon.
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