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Jacki
Oh no! I've attached a pic of Harley but he's upside down! Back to the drawing board... ...
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nelsondonna001
Hi again Jacki.
It will be three weeks on Saturday that Shadow left us.  I will spend my brother's birthday remembering happy times spent both with him and Shadow and probably looking through some of the many pictures I have.  Although I enjoyed my visit to the cat adoption center yesterday and would have loved to pat Ebony, I know in my heart that it is too soon to even think about getting another cat.  Shadow was so very special and I need time to mourn him.  I will know if and when the time is right, I'm sure.  Ebony is already 9 years old so I don't know if she'll get adopted any time soon or if ever.  I plan to visit her again soon.
I will be thinking of you on the two week anniversary of Harley's entrance to the Rainbow bridge and praying you are comforted.
Donna
Donna Nelson
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Bethbug64
Hi Jacki .. I see your post was years ago. Don't know if you still come on this site. I can relate to your heartbreaking story about Harley. Our Little kitty who was 13 and an indoor/outdoor kitty got killed by a dog 2 weeks ago. We didn't see the dog who did it. I had let him out on a beautiful Sunday morning. I guess about an hour later I found him right outside my back door. He was mauled.. Had puncture wounds everywhere and it seemed like he was just bleeding from everywhere and panting violently. We wrapped him in a towel and rushed him to the emergency vet clinic and he was there about 45 min during which time they had him in an oxegen tank.. Were giving him iv fluids and other things but after about 45 min he started taking his last breaths. They came out to get me to say goodbye but he was already gone when I got back there. Iv never felt this horrible in my life. I still keep picturing his bloody mauled body outside the back door..I'm racked with quilt for letting him roam around but we found him as a stray kitten and he always wanted to be outside enjoying the sun and the grass. I can't except the way he died. I'm so wrought with anxiety and quilt. I don't know how I'll ever feel ok again. Has the pain got easier for u with Harley... God bless.. Cindy
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Jacki
Bethbug64 wrote:
Hi Jacki .. I see your post was years ago. Don't know if you still come on this site. I can relate to your heartbreaking story about Harley. Our Little kitty who was 13 and an indoor/outdoor kitty got killed by a dog 2 weeks ago. We didn't see the dog who did it. I had let him out on a beautiful Sunday morning. I guess about an hour later I found him right outside my back door. He was mauled.. Had puncture wounds everywhere and it seemed like he was just bleeding from everywhere and panting violently. We wrapped him in a towel and rushed him to the emergency vet clinic and he was there about 45 min during which time they had him in an oxegen tank.. Were giving him iv fluids and other things but after about 45 min he started taking his last breaths. They came out to get me to say goodbye but he was already gone when I got back there. Iv never felt this horrible in my life. I still keep picturing his bloody mauled body outside the back door..I'm racked with quilt for letting him roam around but we found him as a stray kitten and he always wanted to be outside enjoying the sun and the grass. I can't except the way he died. I'm so wrought with anxiety and quilt. I don't know how I'll ever feel ok again. Has the pain got easier for u with Harley... God bless.. Cindy


Hi there. I don't come on to the site any more but still get emails if someone has posted something. I'm so sorry for your loss of your kitty. I know exactly how you are feeling. It's absolutely heart wrenching and you will never get those final moments out of your head I'm afraid. Yes you will feel guilt and there are so many "what ifs". Even now I still feel I should have been there for him so he wasn't attacked but I know it's ridiculous to think like that. We did absolutely everything we could for Harley and I felt that making him stay inside when he'd always been free to do as he pleased would be cruel as he still liked to go for his little walks around the garden. One of the worst things about the way he died was that it was someone else's fault and if they'd been more attentive and responsible it would never have happened. We still live near these neighbours. Needless to say we don't have anything to do with them; we made sure they were prosecuted for the attack, and they are more than aware that if we ever see that dog loose again it will be destroyed. Again, needless to say we've never seen it loose again. Pity they didn't make sure it was so well contained earlier.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes the pain has got easier but it has taken a long long time. I can think of Harley now without becoming overwrought with grief (so long as I don't think too long😢). I will never truely accept how he died, and will never stop missing him but I have finally come to some sort of peace. I will say I believe I'm not the same person I was when he died. I think I've become stronger and less emotionally attached and less caring in some instances. I think In some ways that's good; in some ways not but it is what it is. BUT having said all that I can tell you I am happy now and life does go on. One of the things I did to try and recover from Harley was volunteer at our local animal shelter. Over 3 years we ended up fostering about 35 kittens - of which we kept only 4! I think we did well!😂

The loss of your kitty will be with you a long tiime, but you will learn to live with it. I always think Harley would be happy and proud at all the kitties we've saved since he died. I do hope you will cope. Sometimes the grief and emotions will be so overwhelming you think you will go under but you will manage. My thoughts are with you and I hope you eventually find some peace knowing you gave your kitty a great life and you should NOT feel guilty about his death. It wasn't your fault and you did everything you could. Take care and stay strong.
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Bethbug64
Hi Jacki. Actually I'm not even sure if you're name is Jacki? I hope it is. Thank you so much for writing back and I'm sorry it took me so long to say thank you. I'm glad you have peace now about What happened to Harley. I feel like I probably won't be the same person either after this. It's only been a few weeks since little kitty got killed and I just feel tormented and feel like there's no joy in my life. I still have my 11 year old lab Zoey who I love and I try to be happy for her. I took in two young adult cats about a week ago. The family had a sick child who developed severe allergies and they had to re-home them. I was trying to do some good but it didn't work out great. The one kitty seemed to be adjusting good but the other one was mostly hiding but also always growling and looking like she was in attack mode and it would immediately make the other one go from being the nicest cat to evil in a split second. 2 times they attacked my 11 year old lab outta the blue and she wasn't doing absolutely anything. The second time she was just laying in the living room on her blanket. The family I got them from were very nice caring people. They had said in the beginning if there were any issues where I couldn't keep the cats to let them know. Anyway I returned the female cat puma to them. They're kids were thrilled when I dropped puma back off. I still have the male.. Ring Ding lol. He already named that. It seems to be going pretty well and he seems to be getting along good with Zoey but it really has made me rethink about trying to help any other cats. My poor old Zoey has severe arthritis and is pretty defenseless plus she's so sweet. She just was cowering in the corner when they attacked her. Thank God I was home. Anyway I have to run for now but I thank you so much for writing back to me. It's helpful to talk to someone whose been through the same truama and heartbreak. Take care...💙 Cindy
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