Ruizmona
Today my parents and 12yo brother were working on a fence for their farm, our beloved pet and my sister's (11yo) first dog max was accidently run over by the tractor they were using. Although my sister is out of state, my brother did see him crushed by the tractor and saw Max bleeding out and dying he ran off screaming. My mother had to shoot him to put him out of his pain as he was clinging to life barely and bleeding from all orfices. I had to call my sister and tell her the news and im wondering how i can help my brother mainly cope with that image that is burned in his mind. I did give him a long hug and spoke to him about how he may be feeling but he pretty much was stone faced as if in shock still. What can i do. Im so upset not only about max, but that my brother had to witness something so horrifying. Max was as sweet as dogs come, gentle didnt jump or lick, just wanted to be around you or with you. Im deeply ssddened by this loss. Especially since this has come less than a year after the tragic loss of my mothers dog daisy. What can i do.
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3_cats_mom
It is terrible what happened to your beloved dog. Your brother is still young and it must be horrifying to witness something like this. Just let him know that it is an accident and this is no one's fault. Stay with him as much as possible during this time. I am sure he would probably be afraid to stay or sleep alone. If it is possible, you can arrange a small trip just so that he doesn't see the accident site for a while? Maybe a grief therapist is needed as well. 

Stay strong!  Have your brother talk to us in this forum. It'd probably help. 
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Ruizmona
Thankfully my parents are taking the kids on vacation in about a week. Its unfortunate timing seeing as last time they went on vacation was when they lost their beloved dog dsisu, but hopefully it will help the kids keep their mind off of it.
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Ruizmona
Ruizmona wrote:
Thankfully my parents are taking the kids on vacation in about a week. Its unfortunate timing seeing as last time they went on vacation was when they lost their beloved dog dsisu, but hopefully it will help the kids keep their mind off of it.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Monica,

I am very sorry and saddened to learn of your sister's and family's recent loss of "Max." Welcome to this forum despite the unfortunate and heartbreaking circumstances. 

Accidents such as what you have all experienced are much, much more common than people think. Especially on farms & ranches. I come across posts from those who have lost their pet's to accidents like your family (and brother) witnessed, quite often. They are heartbreaking "Freak accidents" and they DO happen. Stories are shared here and on other Grief Forums. I read of one recently where a farmer whose beloved and loyal dog had rode with him on his tractor each day for over 12 years, which tragically fell off of the tractor they were riding on and was drug under and killed by accident. Needless to say it was a devastating loss to the farmer.

I think many here would agree that "Freak accidents" are probably one of the most difficult types of grief that one can cope with and try to overcome. We all struggle here with the "What If's?" Those whose beloved pets pass away naturally, or those whose pet's have to be put to sleep, usually due to a terminal diagnosis or a myriad of health issues, but "Freak Accidents" involve an even deeper level of "What If's?" as they seem so, so avoidable, when one who is experiencing grief begins second guessing what occurred and their actions or inactions at the time of the accident. "Second guessing" is part of the grieving process for all of us. Each of us must process it / work through it, and come to terms with ourselves.

The truth is, with "the law of averages"?, the fragility and vulnerability of our little ones? and their often completely, unpredictable behavior at any random moment? Such as running where they are not supposed to, being to inquisitive / curious, getting in the way etc. - accidents ARE going to happen. It's just the very, very sad truth. As we all know, it only takes a matter of minutes, or even seconds, for an accident to occur. So your brother, your sister and your family are NOT alone in this experience or his grief.  As I wrote, I've read it time and time again posted and shared here on Grief Forums like this one, and on others.

I personally experienced near death accidents with my cat "Marmalade." Who used up 9 of his supposed "9 Lives" directly in front of me. He finally ran out of "Lives" in the end. Ultimately his declining health was the result of him choosing one night, to enter into a vicious Tom-Cat fight with the neighborhood bully cat named "Blackie", who had just assaulted "Marmalade's" girlfriend cat "Star." He sustained an injury that never healed right and he required invasion surgery, which resulted in him having an evident stroke on the operating table. "Marmalade" never fully recovered after that and went downhill. But my cat chose to do, what HE wanted to do at that moment. He opted to run past my legs and out the rear gate of the warehouse we were living in (for the first and only time) to get into that vicious Tom-Cat fight in the middle of the street. To him, he would have considered that a "Good Death."

I'm sure at the moment that your sister's dog "Max" was unfortunately killed by the tractor, he was totally enjoying himself. Running free on a farm!!! What a remarkable experience that must be for any dog. Even for 1 minute or 1 hour or 1 day. And Max was 11 years old. How many GOOD days did he have? Most likely thousands of good days & nights. And he was part of a loving and caring pack. All dogs should be so fortunate. : )

I hope your brother and sister and the rest of your family continues to travel through time and heal, and that soon only good memories of his beloved pup shall remain. You Mother is what they used to call" "Of Pioneer Stock." She is a very brave and compassionate woman to have put Max out of his pain & suffering the way that she did. So strength and courage runs in your family. You will all need to tap into that strength and courage now. It is in your DNA, which is comforting.

It may help for your brother to visit this grief forum and some of the others and read of others experiences and grief. It has helped hundreds if not thousands of people who have experienced grief. You or he can also search under "Accident" to read of what others have endured and ultimately healed from, and survived. Including this one: 

https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/i-am-so-lost-i-can%E2%80%99t-handle-this-10182278 

and here: 

https://www.petlossmessageboard.com/?forum=62448

It would be good if your brother knew that he was not alone in his grief. This seems to be helpful. I am sorry for what Max went through and for your brother, sister and your family's loss.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James

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Andee
Oh my, how heart-breaking and tragic! I am so sorry for your loss of your family dog and for your brother's experience. Best thing for you to do is let him know you are there for him and that he can come talk to you anytime he needs to. He can come and get a hug from you when he feels sad or share nice memories of Max with you. Let your sister know this, too. It is something each of you have to process and grieve in your own ways, but you can certainly be there to support each other through your grief. Youngsters are resilient, sometimes much more so than adults in these situations. No doubt they feel shattered, but they don't hang on to guilt the way adults do and they are able to be comforted by a new pet much quicker. Hugs 🤗🤗🤗!
Furry Love Is Forever
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